Hatrack River Writers Workshop: The Elephants of Posnan

This is topic The Elephants of Posnan in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by jackonus (Member # 132) on :

This link:
http://www.galaxyonline.com/Contributors/Card_OrsonScott/Elephants_P1.htm

Will take you to a great story by OSC. I thank piman for letting me know about it. Here's what I liked:

1) Weaving in ancient beliefs about elephants into a kind of "Childhood's End" story about man's next evolutionary step.

2) The ending is about as human a statement as I've ever read. Perfect!!! I won't discuss it now -- don't want to give it away.

3) OSC does in a short story (17 online pages) an amazing job of making me care about the characters (surprise, surprise) but also getting to the root of the issues.

I'm a bit reminded of "Childhood's End" with a bit of "The White Plague" mixed in. That is not to say that this story is derivative. I think OSC has a fresh take on the issues (human extinction/evolution/self destruction), and he considers humanity's cause in ways that the other two stories only really do an okay job with.

I'll stop all this thrumming. I can see you understand. (*read the story, you'll see.)

Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :

I just have to say, for the record, that I didn't like the White Plague at all. I felt jerked around by the phony ending, where they turn around and use the guy's invention to open up the way for human immortality and all that. Not that I don't think of that as a possibility, but by the end of the book, I was hoping for humanity to be wiped out. Don't ask why, that's just the way I felt.

Anyway, I thought this story was very interesting. I think that Card may be going overboard in his detailed explination of how the elephants are connected to human religious tradition, elephants are not a strong element of that traditions that he examined, and I don't know that the main character's study of elephants and lore would have led to or even permitted that connection. But that's pretty much my only substantive criticism.

I thought about the flashback structure that he uses, but it is a natural usage given the chronology of the story. Trying to tell this story without extensive flashback would actually be more confusing, since this is primarially about the exploration of ideas the protaganist is thinking about. In fact, I found the chronology very easy to follow.

I also liked the use of the communist building in the square as a symbol of humanity. It worked, better than I realized while I was reading the story.

Posted by jackonus (Member # 132) on :

Yes, the building metaphor worked particularly well. I don't claim any knowledge of any of the religious traditions referred to in the story. I just took it on faith as part of the narrative. I didn't take it literally, as if I could go look it up somewhere and confirm the sacred nature of pachyderms. It was a nice story element -- good enough for me anyway.

As for the White Plague, I'd actually forgotten the ending. Maybe you wanted humanity to go extinct so we couldn't produce any more writers like Frank Herbert??? I liked Dune, but after that... By the time I got to God Emperor of Dune, I think Frank and I were both bored with the story. I enjoyed White Plague's premise and for the most part it was entertaining. Like I said, I'd forgotten the ending, and from the sound of it I think that's a good thing.

Good thing we had a huge reduction in population before becoming immortal though, especially if we can still breed!!!

Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :

The thing is, the religious elements that Card is referring to in his story are mostly monotheistic traditions that have no connection to elephants as a sacred symbol.

I would have found it more believable if he had been drawn instead towards traditions that had elephants as a strong element, given his study of them. Instead, Card draws from the roots of western and Islamic tradition. There are no elephants in these, and it seems odd that the main character would be drawn deeply into them, all things considered.

Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :

Hey, did anyone else read this story?

Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :

This is no good. I'm just sitting here talking to myself, and I've run out of stuff to say. Isn't that just the way?

Posted by Masdibar (Member # 431) on :

I thought the elephant story was strongly reminiscient of that other Card short story with the grey baby. Not quite as freaky, though. But still pretty darn freaky.

Yeah, the elephant god theme came across as a little out of place. I was also unsettled by the idea that we would all be killed by brain juice or something.

Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :

A synthetic virus manufactured in the elepant's musk glands, not 'brain juice'!

I presume that you're talking about 'A Plague of Butterflies'? That was the only one that I could think of off the top of my head that would fit the description, unless your talking about the dead baby in 'Killing Children' or the one in the 'Worthing Saga'. You know, the one that was dug up by the wind and rolled to block shut the parents door?

Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :

Hey, Ducky, over here!