One of my greatest problems is that I'll tend to describe something with the same words I used to describe it pages earlier. Let's say a person woke up hung over, aching, dizziness, loss of memory, blurriness, haze, confusion, maybe chaos, maybe just darkness, but all of these are common words that don't have pazzazz, especially when over used.
Anyone else have this problem, lacking other ways to describe a re-occurring event?
Posted by Phanto (Member # 1619) on :
Yes.
Truth. Force. Cold.
But those are all themes in my latest work, so I think they're justified .
Posted by Alias (Member # 1645) on :
Both Truth and Cold are overused in my book as well. Cold ... plenty of synonyms for it but somehow it keeps reappearing, and Truth is a theme in my work as well.
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
Truth should be the theme of every work. (or at least it sound good.) For some reason in one of my storys I couldn't stop writng the word sky. even when there was nothing doing about the sky.
Posted by srhowen (Member # 462) on :
I am always looking for something to replace he felt a chill, or the a chill went down his spine---ugh oevr use it to death.
Shawn
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
I...like...don't have any words I...like...overuse, but...like...there's...like...one...I'd like to see...like...gone. Now I...like...forgot which one it...like...was.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
I had someone tell me I overused "and" once. I thought that was weird....it's not a word that jumps out as being overused, you just put it where it goes....??
I sometimes overuse words that are theme words in stories. I had one story in which I used "hero" too many times. In another, I overused "retire" and its subjugates. I get into words like "ostensibly" without even realizing it. It often varies from story to story, though. I overused "heretofore" until my husband pointed it out and I haven't used the word since.
Posted by Balthasar (Member # 5399) on :
quote:I had someone tell me I overused "and" once.
Not having read any of your fiction, Christine, perhaps they meant that you use "and" when you could use a comma, semi-colon, or period.
Posted by Jules (Member # 1658) on :
Yeah, they probably meant you used the same sentence structure too much. Its a hard one to spot, and I guess 'overusing and' is the most obvious thing wrong with it, if that's the structure you're using.
I think it's probably a problem I have too. Need to look at my writing from a more analytical perspective some time.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 1619) on :
Could be:
The grass was green and yellow and blue.
Or:
I threw up all morning, and, hard as I tried, I couldn't stop. My stomach hurt and ached. But my body recovered, and after several icky hours, the "regurgitating" stopped.
It was my fault, really. Last night, I had eatten too much, and it was unhealthy food.
Being sick is no fun, and it really ruins your day.
[This message has been edited by Phanto (edited June 08, 2004).]
Posted by Nick Vend (Member # 1816) on :
I overuse words or terms that qualify things, like rather, sort of, sort of. It's like I don't want to commit myself to anything. It creates such an irritating voice, I just want to smack me! So rather than do that, which would be painful though undoubtedly amusing to any passers-by, I have to go on search and destroy missions and make my prose less equivocal. And then of course, there are the words I'm not even aware of overusing, in which case I use the software Jules put online.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
Actually, I just took a look at the stor in question because I was curious, now that you brought up real possibilities. Sometimes people just aren't good at explaining the error. My sentences are quite various...it is something I am consciouss of as I write, and after carefully reading through several pages, it is true in this stoy as well. I also checked to see if I had run-on sentences or if commas would have been more useful than and's...but no. I use semi-colons, I use commas, and my sentences all seem to be the proper length. My ands are usually used in two types of sentences: separated the last bit of a list (ie "The young woman must have been in her late thirties, blonde, and relatively attractive.") or to join two things that are both true (ie "A warning bell sounded, alerting the crowd that the rail was approaching and they needed to back away from the track.")
I was sort of joking when I posted the thing about the and....only one person has ever mentioned this to me about any story, including the only one of about half a dozen who read the story in question. So i had dismissed her as nuts, and after looking at your new possibilities, I am going to continue with that dismissal.
[This message has been edited by Christine (edited June 08, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by Christine (edited June 08, 2004).]
Posted by cvgurau (Member # 1345) on :
I say "to be sure" a lot, and "rather", and...uh, "and". Those are the only ones that come to mind, but I'm sure there are more.
Posted by Doc Brown (Member # 1118) on :
Rather, sort of, and similar terms are indeed a mark of weak prose. So is indeed, for that matter.
When your POV character observes his/her world in terms like rather and indeed, that character appears weak and irritating.
Posted by TruHero (Member # 1766) on :
I was reading through two of my short stories, and they are just riddled with, JUST. I just seem to use that word alot. Just stop it. I just seem to use it too much. I could just go on, but I should just stop. See, it just rolls off the tongue. Just just just just JUST! I am just a FREAKING LUNATIC. Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Every word has its place, and any word can weaken your prose if overused or used improperly.
Posted by srhowen (Member # 462) on :
pet words are something else entirely,
just, that, has, was ---ugh on them all
Shawn
Posted by rickfisher (Member # 1214) on :
I also use "just," "seems," and so forth. In my current novel, I noticed that I used "narrowed" a lot. Actually, it wasn't that one word. I had a lot of people, each of whom regularly "narrowed his eyes." So it's possible to get stuck on little phrases as well as on words.
Posted by srhowen (Member # 462) on :
seem--forgot that one. I do that as well. I have an entire list of words I do a check for on my first draft edit.
Shawn
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
"looked" is my demon word. My characters spend too much time looking at each other, looking at the curtains, looking into the middle distance. So, I write it that way, then go back and search for "look" and replace it with a different way of conveying the same intention. I don't mean a synonym, though I do that sometimes too, I mean that I usually have the character looking at something for an emotional reason, so I try to find another way to convey the same emotion that doesn't involve gazing, staring or glaring.
Posted by wetwilly (Member # 1818) on :
I do the "look" thing to, Mary, but I've decided I don't have a problem with it. My characters give each other a lot different looks between lines of dialogue, but I like what it does (A) to the pacing of the dialogue and (B) to help convey emotions behind the words. I like it and nobody's ever mentioned it in a crit, so I don't worry about it.
Maybe this is kind of off topic, but I think it's kind of on topic. I read an essay by Mark Twain recently where he talked about writers who always use the same actions for their characters over and over because they can't think of anything else.
"X" she said, breaking into tears. He flicked ashes from his cigar. "X" She sighed. "X" "X" he said, winking. She broke into tears. "X" "X" he said, flicking ashes from his cigar. "X" she said, sighing. He winked. "X"
ad infinitum.
I try to watch out for that in my writing. I try to make sure that characters aren't just doing the same things over and over, and when they do something, I make sure there is a reason for it to be in the story. No pointless sighing or laughing chuckling or any of the rest of it jusr because it seems like they should do something there.
Posted by Jules (Member # 1658) on :
I have started to worry about the number of times some of my characters smile. But they would smile! Should I just not tell the reader, perhaps?
.
