There were so many new members lately that I thought it appropriate to bring this benefit back into focus.
New members! Don't forget to take advantage of the Hatrack Utility Belt and its ever-growing list of upgrades and attachments! The HUB is now issued in version 1.2.
We urge caution. Please review the threads at revised link 1 and revised link 2 for examples of the device in use.
[ August 01, 2015, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]
Posted by Merlin (Member # 2203) on :
Ohhhh... When do I get mine?
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
You already have it. Posted by Shanu (Member # 2195) on :
Mmm. With great power comes great responsibility!
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Yep. Tom Swifty ate my lunch one day. And I have a permanet set of Furry Dice, with my name engraved!
Posted by QuantumLogic (Member # 2153) on :
Don't forget the web of intrigue: useful for collecting loose plot fragments, among other things.
Also, where did my idea generator go? There's a place for it on my belt, but it's empty.
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
My Fuzzy dice(jet black BTW) seem to keep catching fire, am I using too much acetylene?
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
The HUB!
IT's time for an upgrade, folks.
I challenge our new members to propose some additions to this device!
Quantum Tunneling for working your way to the top of an editor's slush pile?
An armor-plated ego for taking critiques in hand?
Go for it!
Posted by JohnSWalsh (Member # 2371) on :
Buttseatium: Super adhesive to keep the seat of the writer attached to the chair so he/she actually writes.
Turnoffium: Prevents the writer from turning on the internet connection when he/she is supposed to be writing.
That is all...
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
Note for non-American HUB users, most specifically any UK HUB user:
"Suspenders" in the US are equivalent to "braces" I believe. However, "braces" doesn't quite fit the whole disbelief thing, thus we recommend the American variant.
For American users: Suspenders in the UK are the garters that hold up a woman's stockings.
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
Final note:
My HUB has a special button for activating an insta-Survivor-critique, by the way. I press it and Survivor immediately responds with anything that is wrong with my story. Quite handy, I admit.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Re: UK Suspenders
We knew that! Why else would the manual say "Use the suspenders on their own to add enjoyment to any flight of fancy you may encounter.".?
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
Sometimes I gloss right over the obvious, Mike. Sorry. Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
You should be sorry. I am offended.
Offendedly yours,
mike et al
Posted by theokaluza (Member # 2315) on :
Emergency Shut-Off Switch: Disables all telephones, televisions, and doorbells in your home for a four hour period. You may not over ride this four hour period no matter how frustrated you feel with your writing.
Posted by rjzeller (Member # 1906) on :
HSO -- I had to dissable my insta-Survivor-critique button. Everytime I'd activate it my brain would start hurting and it'd take me hours to recover. That button knows too much, that's all there is too it. It's lethal in the hands of a fool like me.
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
Is that ethical, to shut the Survivor button off? It must, after all, be sentient....
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Don't worry about the Survivor Switch (or was it a button?). It is an optional upgrade and acts as a sort of back-up to the Hatrack Bosun Whistle, which is used to summon The Penmanship, the Hatrack Sloop captained by our very own Survivor. Posted by MrClean (Member # 1958) on :
From my world I have carried with me a "BUCKET OF SUBSTANCE" It has properties of unusual character and so far no one has been able to define what it is made of. All new people who come into our world are required to go and obtain the Bucket of Substance on their first day.
Maybe this substance could be bottled in smaller portions that could be attached to the utility belt and used when needed.
I just placed an order for the HUB so I can see if the substance is compatable. I'll let you know.
MC
[This message has been edited by MrClean (edited February 23, 2005).]
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
How did I miss that Survivor was the captain of the Penmanship?
It was after the split infinitve broke part of Texas off and the Gulf surged in, Survivor surfing the leading wave with his usual flair, at the helm of the Penmanship.
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Actually, MaryRobinette had already made it home from Texas. The split infinitive caused part of the West Coast to fall off into the Pacific Ocean, making Portland a seaside city. Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
I was checking back through the Dallas thread a bit and discovered that we've forgotten to include the literary license. Every writer needs one of those!
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
Duly noted.
Thanks, Mike!
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Just bringing this back up to the top for our new snacks! er, victims. No, friends, that's it! Our new friends!
Posted by franc li (Member # 3850) on :
The "Survivor Switch" could be misconstrued as a punishment device.
What's a clever name for something that will tell you that your dream from last night is not the brilliant source material that it seems to be when you first wake up? Ex-dream makeover?
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Mid-Summer Night's Dream Cream?
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
quote:Is that ethical, to shut the Survivor button off? It must, after all, be sentient....
Hmmm. Well, Survivor is actally a 3 million-year old robot from the future. Is it ethical to shut him down? Well, he's our offspring, and he's older than we, albeit in a time-warped sort of way. You tell me!
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
...........................
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Disabling the switch doesn't to anything to the main iteration, it only disconnects the local node.
A note of caution, I can (and have) capsize a boat without getting myself wet. This doesn't mean I'll do it on purpose, it's just something to remember when sailing with me. Just because I'm confident I won't end up in over my head, that doesn't mean that you won't.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
bringing this back up to the top again.
Posted by hoptoad (Member # 2145) on :
Newbicide Spray
( joking, just joking )
Posted by TaShaJaRo (Member # 2354) on :
I just read the threads that started this whole thing and laughed my head off. We used to do that on an old message board I was part of. We called it The Neverending Story.
I would suggest a fragment fragger for the HUB.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
quote:Newbicide Spray
Slow-acting, must be mixed with equal parts of sweat-equity and humility.
[This message has been edited by mikemunsil (edited March 07, 2005).]
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
quote:Fragment Fragger
Used without caution, it leads to a superfluosity of commas and a shortness of breath.
Posted by franc li (Member # 3850) on :
Or the dreaded semicolonoscopy.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
OUCH!
You MUST be related to Survivor. Your words are equally barbed.
Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
Uncommitted-Newbie Night-Vision Goggles!
Those who aren't going to last more than a dozen posts show up glowing green on the forums!
Posted by Ray (Member # 2415) on :
What do the Night Vision Goggles say about me?
Posted by rickfisher (Member # 1214) on :
The Newbie-goggles work extremely well, but they're a bit slow. Ask us again in a month.
Posted by ScottMiller (Member # 2410) on :
OOH! I know what I want for Christmas this year.
I have an immunity to newbicide. It must be the special natural protection of my thick skull and naturally enlarged ego (much better than an enlarged prostate, far less medically dangerous, and provides disbelieving friends with hours of hilarity).
On a more practical note, I would like to add an uber-back-brace, for those of us with uncomfortable chairs we can't afford to replace, and an Automatic Glute Exerciser, so even those with a sedentary lifestyle can enjoy Buns Of Steel (also helps with uncomfortable chairs--see above).
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Two or three more devices and we're going to have to go to Version 2.
I think we should prepare a user manual. Anyone up to helping out with that, or taking over the project? I'm behind on 1)critiquing, 2) submitting, 3)writing, and 4)paying bills. Well, 4) can wait.
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
The Portable Door- Allows you to walk through walls. Good for exporing ideas beyond your reach and horribly fun at parties.
The Paperweight Reader- magically reads your hard-drive in the case of computer tradgedy. (I've actually had to use this once. BACK UP EVERYTHING!)
Ice Cream Dispenser- Good for a cold sweet sensation that makes people happy. Caution: if used too much will cause brain freeze.
Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
Hmm. Ray...
Two days, three posts. At this rate--if you choose to keep it up--you ought to make the cut. But just BARELY!!
Posted by franc li (Member # 3850) on :
I didn't realize it was possible to view post counts. Then I checked the profiles. Weird. Oh look, there is a smilies legend too. And a UBB code legend. You can tell I've been made soft by hanging around the books, film and whatever forum.
Posted by Jaina (Member # 2387) on :
Why don't we do those stories anymore? Those look like fun!
Posted by TaShaJaRo (Member # 2354) on :
I agree.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Mostly because I refuse to get stuck in anymore airports. Not that it's done me much good...
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
I feel a MaryRo story coming on.
It's almost here. Better set the stage, or we will! *evil grin*
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
I got stuck in JFK for 24 hrs...pretend it was Mary, and foil her insidious plot to avoid more Destination chronicals!
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
According to you guys, I'm still Trapped in Reykjavik chasing ninjas... Jerialy, JFK is a relatively nice airport; if you were stuck in LaGuardia I'd feel sorry for you.
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
I dunno....the only place I could stay overnight was on a stone bench. Not so much fun...
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited March 19, 2005).]
[ August 01, 2015, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
Gauntlet picked up.
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
It occurred to me that our "Quest" really needed an antagonist... I've chosen our beloved mikemunsil for this honor. I hope that's all right, Master Munsil.
[This message has been edited by HSO (edited March 21, 2005).]
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
He's out of town. An excellent time to pick him. Mwahahaha. Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Oh well, too bad for him -- after all he is a card carrying RPO.
quote:Ditto on the HSO critiques, and might I add that if you ever need to be offended, HSO's your guy! Just take offense to anything he says, no need for rhyme nor reason. There is even a professional registration now for HSO ofendees, of which I am the proud holder of Registered Professional Offendee License #1.
Now, I'm sure that soemthing HSO said on this topic offended me, but you know what? I don't even have to know what it is to be offended by it!
All kidding aside *smirk* HSO gives as good as he gets. ~ MikeMunsil
He should know what he's getting into if he turns his back for too long. Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
It would now appear that Master Munsil's role as evildoer has been handily usurped by Christine.
Perhaps the two will meet in battle at some point, fighting over who can prevent the heroine from reaching her goal? Such a thing might be very cool indeed.
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
I would be up for that, but I don't think I should get a vote since I'm apparently unconscious.
Posted by RFLong (Member # 1923) on :
I felt the need to write myself in.
Is this sad?
Posted by Jaina (Member # 2387) on :
If it is, we're in the same boat, cause I did the same thing. But I figured that I'm the one who asked to do another story--shouldn't I get at least a cameo?
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
I got to be evil in the last one. I'm content to sit this one out completely. Being an evil antagonist twice in a row wouldn't be fair, and might be too much like a cheesy sequel to a bad horror movie. And suddenly being good in the new one would feel wholly inappropriate because I was evil last time. I'm happy to sit back, lick my wounds, and watch the action unfold without me as I dream up a plot to thwart our heroine in the next installment a few months from now.
Anyway, the Quest is all messed up for some reason, and I have to scroll horizontally to read it. Can something be done about this? I'm losing patience scrolling back and forth, and it's well known that I have little to begin with.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
I was getting really annoyed by that too...and then I realized it was my fault. Doh!
I have edited the offending post (my cats did it, I swear ) so that there are line breaks and the darn thing doesn't just keep going off the page.
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
Thanks... I had no idea why it was happening. Maybe it was your evil alter ego that did it and not the cat?
Still.... Blasted cats on keyboards! I was doing a crit a few days ago, and Shadow, our despotic black and white female, kept leaping on the keyboard to get my attention. I believe I got most of the "jsdkjfko;j9fkdjfk 2020200kdjkdjfk" out of the crit, but if I didn't, I'm sure the author will think I'm absolutely crazy -- or crazier, depending on who it was...
Posted by RFLong (Member # 1923) on :
I miss owning a cat. I just have children at the moment. No cat of mine ever put toast in the disk drive. *sigh*
Sorry Christine, don't mean to scare you
R
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
There are some who would argue that cats are better than children. When the argument comes to disk drives and toast (not with butter and marmite, or butter and jam, I hope -- that would be bad), cats usually win. Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
quote:HSO: I'm content to sit this one out completely.
Too late, buddy! You're in it now!
Mwahahahahahaha!
(But only in a supporting role! )
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
Thanks, Dakota. Oh, well... maybe that HSO will turn out to be my nicer alter ego -- a clone perhaps.
I had to laugh when you gave me strong hands because I never really think of them that way.
They are strong because I play piano and guitar for several hours each day (I've been accused of having the "grip of death"). Yet I also have long, slender fingers which makes my hands look... how shall I put this... not-so-masculine, I suppose. Ideal for playing instruments, though, and typing. However...
...with the exception of the middle knuckle on each finger, every joint is double-jointed. This is not the advantage that it might at first seem, it is actually a hindrance, especially for guitar. But it does make for fun party tricks.
(Pointless note: My toes are double-jointed, too. Nearly impossible to break a toe when they can bend back a fair distance.)
Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
TMI, HSO! TMI!
Oh, the pictures I have in my head...
Posted by Rocklover (Member # 2339) on :
Sorry I have been off the boards for a while. I took an hiatis to actually work on my day job (i.e. do report cards, hold parent teacher conferences, and take a week to recover. Whyew!) Anyway, here I am, just tuning in. I must say I feel the need for an EveryReady Wit Sharpener on my HUB. Otherwise, I have not a chance of keeping up with this crowd. Hmm. I wonder if Saturday Night Life is looking for writers.... There are more than a few on this board who could really run with that!
Posted by Rocklover (Member # 2339) on :
Mike, you should know better than to leave town. Look what happened to poor HSO when he offended us all by taking a week off....
[This message has been edited by Rocklover (edited March 27, 2005).]
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
two weeks, rocklover. Two very lovely, sun-drenched, warm weather weeks. Ah, the memories.
Sorry, Dakota, for giving you too much information. At least I didn't tell the story of when I learned my fingers were double-jointed... that, while funny to me, would probably have been far too much.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Bump
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Bump
There were so many new members lately that I thought it appropriate to bring this benefit back into focus.
Posted by jeduthun (Member # 2563) on :
How about a Seam Ripper, so we can escape these long threads and get back to writing?
Ha!
Posted by DeepDreamer (Member # 5337) on :
*bump*
Mine came with Limited Edition Simplification Scissors. "Limited" is right. Mine have already gone dull, and I've been searching for a good scissor-sharpener.
Posted by sojoyful (Member # 2997) on :
What about a No-Slip Grip Opener, for extra torque when you just can't open that story no matter how hard you try?
[This message has been edited by sojoyful (edited August 30, 2006).]
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
I've moved a copy of this topic over to the FAQs area, but I'm leaving this one here so people can find it a bit more easily.
Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :
I am desperately searching for my Kick-In-The-Pants attachment. Does anyone have a spare they can loan me?
I would be most grateful if it came with the Cat-in-the-hat or other rascally rogue to entertain my kids while I write.
Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :
Another bump.
This week, I've employed Cousin Power for the child problem in the house. Still need that kick-in-the-pants attachment. Mine's gone missing, again.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
I am looking for my belt. It has gone unused for far too long. Perhaps we should send Mary on another Mission? After all, SOMEONE has to restock the supply of Handwavium Pellets...
Why not take the old Penmanship out and cruise the Coast for markers? We can pick Mary up, on the way. And who knows which of the old gang might come out of the woodwork?
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
If you are looking for Mary Robinette, she's a good personal friend of author Ken Scholes ("Lamentation" and "Canticle"). His blog: http://kenscholes.livejournal.com/ He mentions her and Aliette quite frequently, as they both proofread his novels. (I now own a galley copy of "Canticle" that is autographed.) Maybe we could send him a desperate plea to pass along to her. I've met the fellow and he is quite a nice guy. I'm sure he would take pity on us.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Posting so this topic will be visible again.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
After Hatrack Utility Belt discussion's long hiatus, a proposed new utensil: the Flip-Flopper 1000.
Many struggling narratives' more interesting and entertaining and engaging agonists are the opposition agonists. Flip-flop the viewpoint from the noble, heroic, less-complicated central agonist to the villian, the nemesis, the "antagonist's" more complicated viewpoint. If the opposition is flat and static, though, a flip-flop reveals that development shortfall.
Try out how the opposition perceives the "hero." The hero might just become more interesting from that viewpoint. Perhaps a villian is aware of natural, behavioral, and personality faults and frailties and shortfalls the hero is not. Certainly not!?
Further, perhaps the villian of the piece is the best practice viewpoint agonist anyway; maybe the villian is the agonist with the narrative's more relevant and dynamic complication. A villain certainly has a stronger moral crisis struggle than a presupposed hero, and more subject to drama's necessary struggle and consequent change requirements. Maybe the villain becomes a hero along the way. In any case, a flip-flop offers insight into how a forefront viewpoint agonist may become fully rounded and dynamic, not one-dimensionally flat or static as is often the case.
Flip-flop again back to the hero of the piece. Now the character is alive, larger than life and appealingly human for all her, his, or its forgiveable personality flaws, dramatic, complicated, and, most of all, appealing. At least from the human moral crisis struggle and satisfaction that delivers a really satisfying narrative.
Flip-flop again and again. Flip-flop one thousand times. Try different viewpoints: trial and error. Maybe an auxiliary character at the edges of the action is a best practice observer -- an objective, as in camera lens -- observer, not per se objective as in non-biased. Such a character as viewpoint agonist must be transformed by the complication satisfaction action, as well, necessarily or probably, as the contestants -- the agonists in contention.
[ January 05, 2015, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by Grumpy old guy (Member # 9922) on :
And that, extrinsic, is the exact advice I've given a writer whose MS I recently edited. The character with the greatest challenge and growth was the antagonist and, through him, his chief minion.
Quite frankly I had to get him to think beyond a one-dimensional bad guy and create a complex character for his heroine to battle. If the antagonist isn't greater in power and resources than the protagonist where is the struggle, how does the protagonist grow, learn, and show their larger than life character? How can you make the reader wish to be your hero?
Phil.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Astute guidance for any writer's growth.
Posted by Lamberguesa (Member # 10320) on :
extrinsic- Makes me think of that gun from the Hitchiker's Guide movie (don't think it's in the books) that allows others to see things from your perspective. Man I wish I had that thing...
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Lamberguesa,
Isn't that "gun" in the real world labeled prose writing? How about a "gun" that allows writers to perceive from readers' perspectives? Now that I wish I owned and mastered.
Posted by Lamberguesa (Member # 10320) on :
So true. And I like your idea even more!
Posted by Grumpy old guy (Member # 9922) on :
That is one area of writing sadly ignored by most writers. Just what do readers crave? We all know it in an abstract sense, but do we think about it when we write?
Phil.
Posted by Smiley (Member # 9379) on :
As an English teacher once said, "Reading is like taking a harsh tonic. You'll take it and you'll like it, or else!"
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
I didn't encounter English teachers who were dispassionate about reading and who promoted reading as a mandated chore until eighth grade. By then, my reading delights had become irrepressible passions. Thank Providence. Such teachers should seek different career paths.
[ January 14, 2015, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
posting so this topic will be visible
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
The Hatrack treehouse just now morphed a gift shop counter where writers may order a personalized, framed Make a Scene permission certificate for their HUB's. Note, 65 columns and 13 rows, exactly thirteen lines' Standard Manuscript Format.
Get emotionally carried away on the page. Make a scene.
code:
÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷<0>÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ By the power invested in [Writer Name] by the Muse, ÷ ÷ Permission is hereby granted for ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ [Writer Name] ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ To Make a Scene on the page. ÷ ÷ ÷ ÷ Hatrack River Writers Workshop ÷ ÷ Rights reserved ÷ ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
The Omniburst Sequencer 7.0:
All-in-one linear wire scanner, plait printer, fax transmitter, wifi modem, smart phone, editor app, mind-transceiver, the size of an Ivory soap bar, made of pewter-riveted brass, powered by Thought. The 7.0 reads and spools a draft's linear-word dross wire monofilament, reorganizes extant content, flags missed and overwrought content, scrubs grammar, amplifies tone, and spews forth an emerald-encrusted gold-braided multifilament ribbon of suggestions amenable to revision considerations.
