I know a few people around here submit to The First Line, in my case as a writing challenge/exercise. The sentences for 2005 have just been posted, and I was wondering if anyone else spotted the grammatical error in the first sentence of the year:
"Life would be so much easier if I was a cartoon character."
I'm tempted to write the editorial staff and mention it, but that would probably just make them not like me too much.
Posted by Rahl22 (Member # 1411) on :
Didn't we have a topic on subjunctive tenses a little while ago?
Nice catch
Posted by EricJamesStone (Member # 1681) on :
It's not necessarily incorrect. If it's possible the narrator actually is a cartoon character, then the sentence could be grammatically correct, depending on its context.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
That is technically true, Eric, but it sure does limit the scop of the stories that could come about. If we went with the absolute meaning implied by the only way that this sentence is correct, then the narrator must have the ability to become a cartoon character and know it at the point he writes the line.
Posted by EricJamesStone (Member # 1681) on :
"Life would be so much easier if I was a cartoon character." Jo flopped on the counch in front of the TV.
"'...if I were a cartoon character,'" said Jo's mom. "Don't forget to use the subjunctive."
"Life would be so much easier if I were not the daughter of an English professor," said Jo.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
Actually, since the firs tline is not in written in quotation marks, that is not a legal first line. It has to be written verbatim. I just put it in quotes because I was quoting the magazine.
[This message has been edited by Christine (edited November 08, 2004).]
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
Just as an afterthought, the first thing I considered was using a narrator that isn't all that good at english due to age or something else...it would be relatively easy as it's delivered in first person. In fact, it will undoubtedly be my fix if they do not approve my recent request of letting me use "were."
[This message has been edited by Christine (edited November 08, 2004).]
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
I'd also quibble about Fall 2005 - Having little to his name when he died, the reading of Henry Fromm’s will went quickly.
The second clause has a different subject than the first clause - they should agree.
Something like: Having little to his name when he died, Henry Fromm left a will that was brief and to the point.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
I didn't look that far ahead but you are absolutely right!
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Beth, that's what is called a "dangling participle."
Being so awkward in sentences, I never use dangling participles.
(It's a sad thing when mistakes like that show up in a place that should know better. I certainly hope they hear from someone on those goofs.)
Posted by hoptoad (Member # 2145) on :
Holy Smoke you guys! Way to scare the newcomers.
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
dangling particple, thanks!
Posted by EricJamesStone (Member # 1681) on :
There is also an error in the final sentence on the page containing the first sentences for the year.
quote:Remember, all stories must start with the appropriate first line and you cannot change it in anyway unless otherwise indicated.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
I think I see what you're getting at...the "it" seems to refer to the story when the mean it to refer to the first line.
BTW, I received an e-mail from The First Line a few minutes ago stating that they would be changing the "was" to "were" for the February 1st first line. It seems they are open to such observations. I'd rather not pelt them with another grammar correction in two days, but if someone else wnated to mention the second problem sentence, it seems they are open-eared.
Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
Besides the confusion of the 'it' reference, there should be a comma after 'line'.
Posted by EricJamesStone (Member # 1681) on :
I wasn't being quite so nitpicky as that. I was referring to the use of "anyway" to mean "any way."
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
Ohhhh...you know what? That's one of those things that my eyes automatically correct for. I didn't even see it until you pointed it out. Like those sentences they misspell.
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
geeze, I didn't notice that either. d'oh.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Or maybe they meant to say that you couldn't change it in, anyway. Though I have no idea what changing it "in" would involve... Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Call me paranoid, but did anyone get a confirmation e-mail saying that they had recieved your submission. I can't remember if I've gotten those in the past or not, and I've been living with the fear that my story is lost in cyberspace.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
I don't remember them doing so, but it seems to me that they're taking longer to respond this quarter than in the past. I've seen no updates to their web page, not even saying that the stories are being read.
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
I didn't get a confirmation, either.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Okay. I'll relax. Let's assume that the longer response time is either that the stories are really good this time, so they are having a harder time deciding, or that they are having life happen on the personal end. At least one of them has kids.
The website does say three to four weeks, so it is really too early to wonder yet.
Posted by GZ (Member # 1374) on :
I can add that I too did not get a confirmation.
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
Hey, I just heard back from The First Line. Alas, they did not want my story. But I got a very nice personalized rejection letter that strongly encouraged me to try again.
This is the first time I ever submitted anything! I have been way too chicken before.
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Congrats Beth. Hopefully the experience will encourage you to continue trying.
Posted by GZ (Member # 1374) on :
Congrats, Beth, on sending something out there. I got a rejection letter to, although yours sounds much spiffier than mine.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
They didn't want mine either, but said they liked it.
