I'm writing a short story and for the first time ever, I've run into a situation where there are characters who are referred to quite a bit but whose names are never known to the protagonist. I end up calling them "the first gunman" and "the second gunman" at least half a dozen times each. Does this get annoying or do you even notice things like this?
Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
I think it depends on the importance of those characters, at least that's how I see it. If they're going to stick around a while, then I'll have the protagonist make up a name for them... sometimes, it's a name based on what they look like or what they do -- no different from what you've done...
But if it doesn't feel right to you, then it probably won't feel right to us when we read it.
If that's the case, call one of them Moe and the other Curly if you have to.
[This message has been edited by HSO (edited February 15, 2005).]
Posted by MichelleAnn (Member # 2375) on :
Are there any distinguishing features? Hair color? Height? One softer spoken or more compassionate?
HSO also has a good point - nicknames. Maybe one trips and then becomes "Clumsy" or "Fred Astaire." (For example) 'ChelleAnn
[This message has been edited by MichelleAnn (edited February 15, 2005).]
Posted by ChrisOwens (Member # 1955) on :
I have the same problem. The viewpoint character is doesn't know the names of his aductees and they're not forecoming. For now, he mentally calls them Passenger and Driver.
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Whose POV are you using?
If it is exclusively the Protag, then if he doesn't know, we shouldn't know. If the two gunmen are identified through another POV or something then identify them.
As a rule unnamed characters are challenging and not well suited to fiction, but rules are made to be broken.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
I just read a mystery and two of the unnamed characters wound up being called the Scarecrow and Tinman. The POV character had a couple of other Oz references worked in, so it wound up feeling thematically complete and--in some cases--further my knowledge of the POV character because it let me know his attitude toward them.
Posted by AeroB1033 (Member # 1956) on :
Question: Does the differentiation between the two men matter to the story? If it does, then yeah, you might need nicknames for them--some kind of tag, at very least.
But if they're just there for exposition, then there really isn't any need to differentiate them at all, is there? You could play the whole scene without tagging any of the dialogue. For example:
"Did you see the way he was looking at us? Scary. Like he could snap our necks in a second if his hands were free." "You big baby. Who's got the guns here?" "Fine, then you uncuff him. I ain't coming anywhere near that guy." "All right, I will. Why don't you stand back there and work on growing a pair."
[This message has been edited by AeroB1033 (edited February 15, 2005).]
