Thought this might be cool. Sometimes when I'm pounding out a first draft, I'll write something that I immediately laugh at. Usually it's just an inadvertently funny line. Here is my most recent:
The last leg of the journey would be taken on foot.
So does anybody else have any?
Posted by tchernabyelo (Member # 2651) on :
In a Flash piece I managed to write "Anger poured out of her pores".
Not funny.
Just very, very, very bad juxtaposition.
This is why rewrites exist.
Posted by JmariC (Member # 2698) on :
Just yesterday a friend pointed out. "In brining her up they had instilled the importance of God."
My friend said if the original statement was true, my mc would be a pickled herring. (which I assume would be better than the red version.)
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
My all time favorite was when a friend accidentally used the word "incontinence" when he meant "incompetence."
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
"My client is flatulent in Spanish."
Posted by franc li (Member # 3850) on :
As the result of a politically correct grammar checker, one of my mom's fantasy epics contained:
"He jumped up and down on the pile of smouldering homosexuals"
(faggots was changed to homosexuals by WordPerfect.)
[This message has been edited by franc li (edited October 10, 2005).]
Posted by Ahavah (Member # 2599) on :
Posted by Leigh (Member # 2901) on :
Does that mean I can't use faggot in Word 2000 or is it still fine?
Posted by apeiron (Member # 2565) on :
I once used "prostate" instead of "prostrate." Fortunately, I caught that one.
Posted by autumnmuse (Member # 2136) on :
Yeah, that song about those poor angels who's prostates are falling is so sad, isn't it? Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
Spell check changed "dissipated" into "decapitated"
Posted by hoptoad (Member # 2145) on :
Hey Franc Li!
Puts new meaning to Ali Baba having 'two faggots tied to his donkey.'
[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited October 17, 2005).]
Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :
If I'm lucky I'll come up with a good line. One snatch of dialog happened right on the page (well, the screen) as I pounded the keys:
CHARACTER ONE: "I've just been hit by my contradictions."
CHARACTER TWO: "Have you tried Mydol?"
Not the most original joke in the world, but it made me laugh as I wrote it.
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
This is as good of a place to stick this comment as any. Not a spelling error, but funny nonetheless.
I was watching HGTV last night, and they had a show on weird bathrooms. Some guy has build an elaborate, and I do mean ELABORATE track that encircles his bathroom several times. Little metal balls roll out of a chute then go flying down the track, triggering complex mechanisms to whirl them, fling them, lift them, drop them... it is mind boggling.
Anyhow, the guy is discussing the obsessive number of hours he puts into building this contraption, and he says, "I have attention surplus disorder."
I thought that perfectly described how I feel when I'm writing. I can be lost in my writing obsession for HOURS and hours and HOURS.
Posted by franc li (Member # 3850) on :
hoptoad: especially in light of a time my sister tried to tell a joke by substituting donkey for another word. There is a biblical quote where... I think it's Noah- ties his ass to a tree and walks 40 paces. When she changed it to donkey it sounded even more tasteless.
Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
In an LDS church meeting a woman got up and gave a long talk about the trials of their family concerning her husband's surgery on his scrotum. She went on and on about how the children couldn't sit on his lap, and how much pain he was in. On and on and on. After she was finished, the husband quietly stood, went to the microphone and said, "It was my sternum."
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
I worked at a church for a while... one of the ministers told me of the days he was going through seminary. It was a requirement of all the students to give a Sunday sermon. One of his co-students drew the slot for the week before Easter. Apparently this minister-to-be stood up before his congregation and declared, "Next week is Easter, the day when millions of Christians from around the world come together to celebrate the erection of Jesus Christ." Apparently he never realized his gaffe. My response to my minister friend was: "I'll bet the women in the congregation were thinking: "Hallelujah, he has RISEN!" heh. That's one of my favorite true stories.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
I'm sure that they were politely zoned out, and didn't notice at all.
I one time described how the heroic defenders of someplace or other had beat off the attackers. I'm sure that doesn't mean anything like what my audience seemed to think it meant
