This is topic SF&F First Page Blunders in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by ChrisOwens (Member # 1955) on :
 
http://webnews.sff.net/read?cmd=read&group=sff.writing.writersofthefuture&artnum=3097

What the WOTF first reader list first is food for thought:
*Not putting whatever makes this fantasy or sf on the first page.
*Withholding critical information so that the reader cannot figure out what's going on.
*Using an over-the-top metaphor or simile that doesn't work.
*Starting with an info dump.
*Having the main character wake up in the first paragraph.

I think we've discussed this before. Personally, I struggle with the first. Sometimes I don't see how to put the speculative element on the first page. Is that the first 13 lines? The first 13 and the next page? Sometimes I don't get around to the speculative element until page 2 or 3.
 


Posted by autumnmuse (Member # 2136) on :
 
Chris, I think that's the hardest bit for more than just you, particularly if there is any mystery you have to build. But I've found that in MOST of my stories I can find a way to make that happen. Also, in reading through the recent anthologies, there are several stories that made it in which took pages to introduce the fantastic element. So if you absolutely can't make it work, make sure your writing sings and is compelling enough that the reader will keep going long enough to get to it. And if all else fails, there are other markets out there.
 
Posted by krazykiter (Member # 3108) on :
 
Every story is different. As autumnmuse pointed out, the real trick is to make the first page interesting enough to keep the audience reading until they get to the "speculative element," wherever it happens to be.

It isn't necessary to give a full dissertation on that element right up front. Sometimes (I would even speculate most of the time) it only takes a word or phrase to give the readers enough to hang their hats on so you can keep things moving. The full explanation can be parceled out over the rest of the story.

In some cases, it isn't even wise to do it all. In stories with parallel universes or something similar, it's far more important to establish one world so the readers don't get confused. "Lord Foul's Bane," the first in the Thomas Covenant series, begins with the main character trying to pay a phone bill. The speculative part doesn't show up until chapter three.
 


Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :
 
Arr...the beginning of "Lord Foul's Bane," where the main character is wandering the Earth as a leper, happens to be the only part of the book I remember. The fantasy elements didn't stay with me at all.

I'm kinda inclined to go with the "it's gotta look like SF or Fantasy on the first page" school of thought. But there's probably more than that to it...
 


Posted by Kickle (Member # 1934) on :
 
I think it is important to remember that when we are discussing WOTF we are talking about the first page of a short story not a novel. It is not always easy, but it should be possible to hint though the setting, tone or some other element that the story is sifi or fantasy on the first page--which, if it is formatted correctly for WOTF, is the first 13.
In the first couple of drafts of the novelette I am working on right now, I was not successful at doing this. But now as the story is coming together, I can see how with tightening and by changing a few words I can do it. Cutting, tightening and clarifying usually solve this problem for me.

 
Posted by pantros (Member # 3237) on :
 
I think these apply just as aptly to a novel.

Some might think that an info dump is okay in a novel, but a scene can give the neccesary information in a much more enjoyable format. I have seen novels with infodump starts, but I prefer the ones that start with a story.

OSC says the first paragraph is free. But, I think that if you can use that first paragraph to hook, to start your story, you are off to a better start.


 


Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
I'll just point out that for all stories involving deep immersion virtual reality or any form of magical dreaming, the last item on that list contradicts all the others.
 
Posted by ChrisOwens (Member # 1955) on :
 
Pantros,

To clarify, this is from the WOTF first reader, who screens short stories up to 17000 words. Most winning stories I hear are about 5500 to 6000 words.
 


Posted by Silver3 (Member # 2174) on :
 
Damn, mine is too short then
For me, first paragraph is free always meant: you may have one paragraph to tell the readers what they need to know to understand the rest of the scene. And it can be done gracefully enough that it doesn't feel like an endless lecture.
 
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
 
The way OSC explained the maxim "the first paragraph is free" at BootCamp is that you have not established any rules yet. For instance, you can start in Omni and shift into 3rd if you want to.

[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited February 13, 2006).]
 


Posted by Ted Galacci (Member # 3254) on :
 
Some people like info dumps! IF(big if)they are done well. Heinlein did it best in Stranger in a Strange Land. Outside SF&F WEB Griffin sells many many many many books and his novels are about 30% info dump.

My peeve is soapboxing. Any thinly disguised reference to contemporary politics or issues. No matter what the stance taken by the writer, it will turn off 40% of potential readers.

Ted in PA.
 


Posted by Ted Galacci (Member # 3254) on :
 
Plus, I should add, it dates the work and plops the reader out of the fictional mileau like a chili dog out the bottom of your bun.
 
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
 
James Michner was the king of info-dump, but most of us can't get away with it to that extent.
 
Posted by Hel (Member # 2045) on :
 
I think an important thing to mention about WotF is they very much prefer new worlds--rarely will you find a story with a subtle speculative element.

As such, if you're writing a story that takes place on another world, another universe, or a century or two into the future... it would be very difficult to NOT have a speculative element on the first page (oh and 'first page' usually means the first two paragraphs). I don't think you have to think of it in terms of announcing 'THIS IS A GENRE STORY!' in all caps, bold font, and red lettering... but there should be noticable details such as word choice, diction, names of places, etc that suggest that it is in fact a speculative story.

At any rate, write a good story first, worry about matching Wentworth's demands for the first page later.
 


Posted by Ted Galacci (Member # 3254) on :
 
I agree that first pages can always be rewritten. But eventually they must be rewritten. Hence this discussion.

One suggestion is to bookend. . . once the story is written, go back and rewrite the beginning to match the ending.

Of course this can lead to another pitfall not on the list at the top, heavey handed foreshdowing of the "If only I had known then what I know now" variety.

I am a newcomer to this board and not familiar with the old hand references. I don't have a clue who the authority being cited at the top is. Is it someone with the power to publish? If so, I abjectly grovel at their feet! Forgive my impertinence for suggesting the list is not complete oh great one!
 


Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
 
You might be more specific about what confuses you? If you mean "WOTF" it stands for "Writers Of The Future," and yes, it's a well respected avenue for publication.

You'll get used to the acronyms after a while. *grin* We all have to face the learning curve with writer's jargon. It took me a while to figure out POV meant Point Of View.
 


Posted by Ted Galacci (Member # 3254) on :
 
Oh THAT WOTF! My aging mind could not place them. They've been around now for decades. In fact, now is the future for their first generation of winners. I wonder at their track record. . .
 


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