This is topic Stepping outside the box in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by Susannaj4 (Member # 3189) on :
 
I find lately(aside from the fact that I am doped up on cold meds)that I cannot finish a complete thought. I work it all out in my head, something totally off my normal mark, and then I can't formulate it into anything good. If anyone reads any bit of it, they tell me to put it down.I have noticed lately that if I reply to anything it's ignored. So I've stopped replying. But now I've come to wonder if that means politely that I suck and I should just step outside the box and try and figure out exactly where I belong. For all tense and purposes, I believe myself to be a writer, mediocre at best, and I hope for something more some day. But I can't put any idea down that is 'normal' everyday, run of the mill. Where am I going wrong? Is it me?
 
Posted by pantros (Member # 3237) on :
 
Certainly not you.

Just keep writing. Don't try to engage people in conversations on message boards. Its not what they are used for. For convesations stick to IM and phones.

People see posts on message boards as response optional (as they should). Just because they don't respond doesnt mean they are ignoring you, they are often time hoping for a more suited reader to respond better than they could.

It's not you.

I tend to like what you write and, though I don't peruse personal forums often, simply due to time constraints, I would prefer to continue to see your writing in the challenges at LH. You might even consider venturing over to notebored if you find you want to write more often.
 


Posted by Johnmac1953 (Member # 3118) on :
 
Hello You, a crisis of confidence does seem to go on forever - thats what I think you are experiencing of late. And a feverish cold does not encourage rational thoughts...I know, I've just got rid of my cold.
If you want to 'say' something SAY IT, write down what you think you should say, whether you would actually say it in reality or not. Look at what you wrote last night...
Chin up, smile and do what YOU want to do
Best Wishes
John Mc...
 
Posted by Susannaj4 (Member # 3189) on :
 
Thank you, Pantros, I didn't think you actually read my stuff.

JohnMac, you always make me smile.
 


Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
 
There are many reasons people don't respond:
1) Time constraints - time to read does not equal time to respond.
2) Forgetting they planned to respond.
3) Feeling like they have nothing useful to contribute.
4) Repetition - someone previously said something similar
5) Lack of knowledge about the topic
6) Boredom with the topic... perhaps they expounded in great length 110 times in previous threads, and don't feel that 111th time will add much to what they've already said. Doing a "search" is always useful to locate previous discussions.
7) Missing the point - if the REAL question is buried in other rambling thoughts, the reader might miss what you really want to know
8) Lack of maturity on the part of the topic originator. Sometimes when someone is off on a rant, it's just best to ignore the attitude. Some people choose not to contribute to rants, flame-wars, bigotted comments, etc. Most often we run into comments made by very YOUNG people with very LITTLE life experience. It's hard to convince these folk that their perspective on life is not yet fully informed.

In short, it's not always about you.

Here's a story: I have a three-legged dog, who got that way because of being mauled by pit-bulls. I used to have a hard time taking him out for walks because he hated other dogs and treated them as dangerous. I always kept him on a leash, but I got to the point where I had to quit walking him in public because OTHER people let THEIR dogs off the leash, and THEIR dog would come over to check MY dog out, and a fight would ensue. It was inevitable the other dog's human would say, "Don't worry, my dog is friendly." I wanted to scream at them, "BUT MY DOG IS NOT."

It's not always about your dog. Other people have dogs/needs, too, and you cannot always second guess their motives. Take care of making your own needs clear, operating with maturity and integrity, and if folks don't respond you can rest assured the problem is with their dog, not yours.

does that help?

[This message has been edited by Elan (edited March 14, 2006).]
 


Posted by Susannaj4 (Member # 3189) on :
 
Well, I'm not young Elan. Contrary to popular opinion. Just new to *this* writing process.
 
Posted by hoptoad (Member # 2145) on :
 
Responding to other people's posts cuts two ways.
It's give and take.

If no one responds to what you have written -- and you really want a response --post again. Rephrase it. People will get the message that you want a response.

But to drop-off the forum in the hope someone will notice you're gone is wrongheaded.
.
.
.
.
.

[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited March 14, 2006).]
 


Posted by Susannaj4 (Member # 3189) on :
 
Sorry, I didn't drop off the forum. I've been busy. I was writing and getting a manuscript ready for submittal.
 
Posted by etherfire (Member # 3162) on :
 
Seems like being a writer is probrably the craziest thing we can do...with all the posts of worrying whether we're actually writers and whatnot. We must all be insane to even attempt it. But that's what seems to make good writers...lol
 
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
 
quote:
Well, I'm not young Elan. Contrary to popular opinion.

Ahh, now this illustrates my point. I never called YOU young. I was listing a series of reasons why *I* choose not to respond to posts. The point about being young was listed last because I wrote them in the order I thought of them, not that I was trying to imply anything about you.

It's not about your dog.
 


Posted by Susannaj4 (Member # 3189) on :
 
rofl.
 
Posted by hoptoad (Member # 2145) on :
 
rofl?
What's rofl?
 
Posted by Susannaj4 (Member # 3189) on :
 
rolling on the floor laughing
 
Posted by pixydust (Member # 2311) on :
 
Well I for one have enjoyed having you around LH, Susanna. And from what I've read of your writing, I think you have definite talent. Plus you have the desire to learn. Just keep writing and hanging out at places like LH and Noteboard, and all those great writers will help you along the path to greatness. That's what I'm doing, hoping some of their greatness will rub off on me.
 
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
Stepping outside of the box is always worth a try, as long as it isn't too much difficulty to get back into the box later.

Of course, I step outside of the "writer" box all the time. Heck, I basically live outside that box, and just visit If you think about it for a moment, that's what most successful writers do. They usually have a history of doing things that don't seem very writerly (which some of them then put in their bio...if I ever have to write one, it will say something like "none of your business"). When I'm not posting on this forum, I'm usually doing something else (like sleeping...oh, I do so love sleeping).

As for getting replies, your topic already has more replies than most of the topics I've ever started on this forum
 




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