How exactly do you go about introducing the setting in a short story hook without drawing away from any of the action; especially when the setting is just an ordinary place with nothing to do with the action that's going on. I've tried doing this a few times and it's always just come out strange and unfitting; should I just bite the bullet and always make the weather reflect the focus characters mood; make them all magically like Storm from the X Men? Has any one else ever had this problem?
Posted by wetwilly (Member # 1818) on :
If the setting is just an ordinary place with nothing to do with the action that's going on, I wouldn't really worry too much about describing it. If it is nothing interesting, and it contributes nothing to the action of the story, then I as a reader don't really need to know it. Chances are, I'll just skim over those paragraphs, ayway, in my impatience to get to the STORY.
Not to say scenery doesn't have its place, but if it doesn't matter then I wouldn't even mention it. Readers will automatically supply the scenery in their imaginations if you don't supply it for them, and if it doesn't matter WHAT the scenery is, then just let the reader choose that part for himself/herself. (Why oh why can't english give us a third-person neuter possessive that refers to a person?)
And PLEASE don't make the weather always reflect the character's mood. Pretty pretty pretty please with a cherry on top.
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
Yes. I want to know where I am (school playground, mall before opening, unlit corridor on the moonbase); that's enough for me.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
POV.
Posted by arriki (Member # 3079) on :
Well "I" (!) think....
Unless you can make it exciting and interesting, describing the scenery is boring. Pick out two or three items of scenery that exemplify the place and stick them casually into the action of the scene.
Unless the place is really different, don't worry. Even dark, dank dungeons can be placed in the reader's mind with the smell or feel of mold underfoot and the clank of prisoners' chains, the pov stumbling in the dim light of a single torch...and get on with the story, the action, what the torturer said and how his blade gleaned.
Or the space station with metal dust in the carpeting of the new section, that tiny, constant vibration everywhere and the sudden little bounce as a ship docked.
Just my opinion, of course.
Posted by autumnmuse (Member # 2136) on :
Notice how in Arriki's examples, more senses were used than just what the eye sees. That's honestly one of the most important parts of description. Sensory detail. Give us a couple of those every now and again and your story will feel richer than if you spent a page describing how someplace 'looks' exclusively.
Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :
I figure, in SF or fantasy at least, you might be able to get away with a couple of short paragraphs after the action starts---just enough to establish that the setting is different than the here-and-now, but not enough to get in the way of the action.
My last completed story, somewhere out at market now, had almost a full page---out of about ten---of that sort of description. It still seemed long to me. But how do you introduce that Older Character and Younger Character work for a minor educational bureaucracy in a Galactic Empire? Or get across that the Older Character has trouble keeping assistants? And how do you keep it concise?
Posted by trousercuit (Member # 3235) on :
Bah. This is easy:
quote:Hello, Reader? Meet scenery. Go on, give his milieu a jiggle! He's a little dark and stormy, but don't let that bother you. Scenery? This is Reader. Give him some good character support or contrast, but don't overdo it this time, okay? We got that settled, then? Great. Let's do the story.