However, more to the point, it seems sometimes that an adverb is what I need to convey something, and to do it quickly (see!) without a lot of exposition.
Example, from my work in progress, the first line is:
“Jack says a freighter drone from Earthside’s due in tonight, C-Dock.” Julia said, flopping down lightly on the bottom bunk.
Maybe this is too subtle for readers, but the point of flopping down lightly is to subtly introduce the idea that they're on the moon where gravity is lower. She flopped lightly because that's the ONLY way you can flop there. Would it be an improvement for me to do something like:
"Jack says a freighter drone from Earhtside's due in tonight, C-Dock." Julia said. She flopped down on the bottom bunk, hardly rustling the covers.
Or
She flopped down as heavily as lunar gravity would permit.
(I don't like this version)
Or...just lose it entirely?
I certainly introduce the low grav elsewhere, but it seems to me to be part of the hook, because the drone's bringing apples, and apples are a rare treat on the moon, which we do learn quickly here in the next few lines.
At any rate, didn't mean to take up so much space with my example, but I did want to get a conversation going about adverbs. The SEFW book mentions that adverbs that actually modify the word "said" are reasonable - "said softly" - where softly describes *how* someone spoke the words. They contrast it with "said grimly" because grim refers to the emotion of the speaker, and that should be conveyed either through the speaker's dialog itself or elsewhere in the narrative. Not through an explanation tag - that's just plain lazy (or so I'm paraphrasing.)
What are your thoughts? Do you have any editing tricks you use to help avoid the easy trap of relying on adverbs to convey emotional content?
As far as adjective and adverbs go, trim as much as possible. Where they can't be cut, the sentence can often be rewritten to cut them out. It is surprising how much you can really cut when looking at what you have written with a critical eye.
[This message has been edited by nitewriter (edited April 05, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by nitewriter (edited April 05, 2007).]
quote:
Would it be an improvement for me to do something like:"Jack says a freighter drone from Earhtside's due in tonight, C-Dock." Julia said. She flopped down on the bottom bunk, hardly rustling the covers.
Or
She flopped down as heavily as lunar gravity would permit.
(I don't like this version)
However, you could try:
“Jack says a freighter drone from Earthside’s due in tonight, C-Dock.” Julia said. She bounded across the room and floated down on the bottom bunk. She never got tired of the moon's gravity.
I dread going through my novel and doing that. Going through five thousand words of short story is one thing...going through a hundred fifty thousand words of novel is another...
OK, so, I'm thinking in my example, "lightly" doesn't add enough to justify keeping it. The SEFW even goes to the trouble to say that while most regular readers won't mind a few adverbs, editors and reviewers will, so hence we're partly editing away from adverbs to appease them. Since they hold the keys, that's just fine.
If anyone is still interested in this topic - I'm curious then when you think it IS ok to use adverbs. Another poster mentions when it's within dialog spoken by a character in the story. That seems logical. Are there other places? Or is it just a 'less is more' strategy - the fewer there are, the stronger the story?
Going to have to do that -ly search now that I see how pervasive my adverbitis is. I wonder if I've missed a bunch of others... 
I never gave any thought to the use of adverbs before, but it looks like it is more a question of whether they are necessary than whether they are ok. I suspect that the answer is to examine what you are trying to say each time you are tempted to use one. If you want to make a point and be more descriptive of your action, maybe there is a better verb to use rather than having to modify an inadequate verb with an adverb. For example, why say "moved quickly" when you could say "rushed" or "hurried".
I started to think it might be okay in dialogue (it has always been annoying to me to get to the end of a piece of dialogue before I know the emotion behind it - especially when reading out loud), but there's this conflict with the "said-bookisms" rules. I'm not sure how you can use only "said" in dialogue; there are times when you must convey the emotion to the reader with some other word (since we also don't want to use adverbs with "said"). Maybe the secret there is to describe the emotion apart from the "said":
That hit a nerve! Tom was fuming now.
"How can you say that?"
That being the case, maybe there really isn't a time when adverbs are necessary. And if it's never necessary, then maybe it's never ok.
Like every other part of the English language an Adverb is nothing more than a writer's tool. But like that flathead screwdriver, it seems like it can be used for just about anything, but, in fact, is best used for a few specialized jobs.
I see too many aspiring writers giving the advice 'never use Adverbs.' it's bad advice.
But use adverbs carefully. Do not add an adverb to every dialog tag. Add them when it's important to know how something was said and its not obvious by the words/situation and even occasionally when it is obvious to reinforce the reader's confidence in their understanding the characters.
Use adverbs when there is ambiguity in how something could be done and its better to be clear. Don't use adverbs to say something that we assume anyway.
He aimed carefully. -Aiming already implies careful, so it's redundant. Don't be redundant.
He answered hastily. -This tells us he is nervous, hiding something. You could use body language to tell us the same thing. or you could use 'hastily' and body language to really make sure we get it if its that important.
If the adverb is letting you say something that it would take you additional sentances to say otherwise, use the adverb.
If the adverb is just there to make the writing more flashy, lose it.
just
very
really
Anytime I find myself typing one of these words I stop and rethink it. I'd say 99% of the time it does not need to be there.
As for eliminating all adverbs, I think that's over the top. Whenever possible, using nouns and verbs to relay an idea is usually stronger, more active, but there are times when nouns and verbs cannot do the job alone. That is when you need an adverb.
P.S. Adverbs that modify other adverbs are where you really get into trouble. But since adverbs include words that tell us where and when, anyone who says never to use them is... um...
[This message has been edited by franc li (edited April 05, 2007).]
Terrible example but:
"You must be kidding!" Julia was having trouble swallowing the news that she was adopted.
The authors also talk about overuse and the problems therein, how it can continually interrupt dialogue and make things choppy and kill the flow.
Basically the big thing I'm learning from this book is: Everything in moderation. Well, there are a few tricks and tips in addition, it's really a great book. It's surprising to me how many bad habits I can easily fall into because I'm being lazy or haven't given enough thought to something.
Firstly, I'd like to say what a wonderful asset Self-editing for Fiction Writers is, and if you'd don't have, you should.
Since reading it, I've learned all about -lys and -ings and I thought wow... how hard will it be not to have those kinds of words in my writing. (My old novels are full of them - and it doesn't make for good reading) And yes, it was difficult to begin with, but now its natural for me not to write them. In the begining, I would have to go back every so often and change the sentance structure to get rid of them, but now I don't even think about it. I do use the odd one now and again, mostly -ings but that's ok.
I look for them now in everything I read and it's annoying becauase I analyse the writing, rather than enjoy the story so that's something of a down side, but I'm hoping I get over that in time.