I just wanted to share an experience I had while reading through a slush pile the other day. I came across a line that did not mean what the author meant. What it meant was so hilarious that I spent twenty minutes trying to stop laughing. Needles to say I couldn't get through the rest of that story, it might have been a wonderful story that would have brought prestige to the magazine but I had to put a no on it just because of that one line. I don't know if I can share the line, for various reasons, but please don't write something like that. Read your work before you send it somewhere. Make sure it means what you think it means.
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
That sort of thing isn't limited to literary work. Today at work, (I work at a newspaper), one of the gals in the graphic arts department showed me the copy they'd been given by a customer, a big-shot auto dealer in town. Next to the picture of a car, the headline reads: Lady drivers, serviced here. Another picture headline read: Lady drivers, bought new here.
I told her it reminded me of a Kentucky Fried Chicken sign that read: Extra Crispy Help Wanted...
Guess auto dealers and KFC don't pay their people to be writers. But, on the other hand, if one professes to be a writer, one would hope said writer would actually proofread the work.
Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :
Or "piano wanted by lady with mahogany legs"
So, I'm curious. I was thinking of sending my WIP first to a slush pile and second to an agent, after I get rejected from the slush pile, but I got to thinking... (a dangerous habit)
And... does anything ever get taken seriously in the non-solicited slushpiles? Or is it just a colossal waste of time?
Posted by ChrisOwens (Member # 1955) on :
Out of curiosity, who do you slush for?
Posted by Grant John (Member # 5993) on :
"Needles to say"? I'm not being mean, I just found it ironic.
I always find strange things when rereading my own work, or reading students work. Latest is the use of the word 'cum' instead of 'come' creates some very interesting sentences.
It always makes me think of when Coke or Pepsi translated their slogan into Japanese, it was meant to say it revived you, what it turned out saying was it would bring your ancestors back from the dead.
Grant John
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
Oh it's just a little college magazine. Warp & Weave, (UVSC).
I do the needles thing on purpose, it's just fun.
Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :
one of my favorite mis-statements of all time was during an evening news broadcast when the newsman described an accident as "heart rendering". I have been using that line ever since, and never fail to crack myself up. My humor standards are very low, but there you go.
[This message has been edited by debhoag (edited October 13, 2007).]
Posted by lehollis (Member # 2883) on :
Dynasty, I live right next to UVSC but I'm not a student. Is it only for students? And does it publish much fiction?
(Sooo much Utah on these forums, sometimes )
Posted by nitewriter (Member # 3214) on :
Pyre Dynasty - your experience reminded me of a similar one I had. I was in a writing class and one by one we commented on stories by the students. When we came to one particular story by a girl with little or no writing experience, (we all had a copy of the story) people bagan to laugh so much so that the instructor had us skip it and look at another story. When we were done with that story, and things had calmed down, she suggested going back to the story we skipped. People began howling with laughter. The end result was we did not get around to giving our thoughts on that story at all. The story was a classic as far as not saying what you meant to say. It was riddled with so much of it that I honestly thought it had been written intentionally that way as a joke - but it had not. I sometimes wonder if that poor girl gave up on writing after that experience.
[This message has been edited by nitewriter (edited October 14, 2007).]
Posted by JeanneT (Member # 5709) on :
Latest is the use of the word 'cum' instead of 'come' creates some very interesting sentences.
Ok, that made my morning.
Posted by Alye (Member # 5017) on :
My dad sent me this. I may have written a few of these. =/
THE BEST [actual] HEADLINES :
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!]
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :
That seriously made my day! And today's been a really crappy day.
Posted by RMatthewWare (Member # 4831) on :
"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means."
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
My favorite shall always be
Eye drops off shelf.
But as to Warp and Weave, it's a speculative magazine, they publish mostly fiction, mainly because we don't get much poetry or artwork. And we do accept submissions from the community. They publish twice a year (off the top of my head I'd say the next due date would be early February sometime). Their email is warp[DOT]weave[AT]gmail[]com
)
