Here's two of my favorites, part of the same book, same paragraph.
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On the Road
My first impression of Dean was of a young Gene Autry—trim, thin-hipped, blue-eyed, with a real Oklahoma accent—a sideburned hero of the snowy West. In fact he'd just been working on a ranch, Ed Wall's in Colorado, before marrying Marylou and coming East.
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On the Road
Marylou was a pretty blonde with immense ringlets of hair like a sea of golden tresses; she sat there on the edge of the couch with her hands hanging in her lap and her smoky blue country eyes fixed in a wide stare because she was in an evil gray New York pad that she'd heard about back West, and waiting like a longbodied emaciated Modigliani surrealist woman in a serious room. But, outside of being a sweet little girl, she was awfully dumb and capable of doing horrible things.
[This message has been edited by InarticulateBabbler (edited December 08, 2007).]
I don't mind taking part in this discussion unless Kathleen forbids it.
Here is my favorite description (or one of them) from one of my favorite books, Banewrecker. It also happens to be the opening.
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Tanaros walked down the hallway, black marble echoing under his bootheels.It was like an unlit mirror, that floor, polished to a high gleam. The arches were vast, not built to a human scale. All along the walls, the marrow-fire burned delicate veins of blue-white against all that shining blackness. In both, his reflection was blurred and distorted. There was Tanaros; there, and there and there.
A pale brow, furrowed. A lock of dark hair, falling so.
Capable hands.
And a stern mouth, its soft words of love long since betrayed.
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited December 08, 2007).]
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It's called Discussing Published Hooks and Books. That's supposed to break down published work--or generally discuss what works for you by a published author.
I didn't think it would fit in there, though I could be wrong. I was more interested in reading what people consider great character descriptions. Published Books & Hooks seemed to focus on specific books, not just general books or writing styles. I think it is debatable.
I do the same in my writing as well.
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I prefer the author to limit his discussion about how a character looks, as I like o form my own image of what the char's look like.
Yeah, KDW was saying OSC had said that. If you're too specific you don't allow the reader to form their own opinion of what someone looks like.
I think the basic gist is to give the reader an outline of what they look in, then let them fill in the gaps. The character becomes theirs at that point. I think OSC also cautioned against redescribing the character later with greater detail. Your detail might be contradictory to what the reader has decided the character looks like. That could annoy the reader.
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You know there is a forum for this, right?
Yeah - why would someone deliberately post it here knowing full well that it should have gone somewhere else? Jeez! What's wrong with people.
This topic could go there, so maybe I should make the change, but it's okay here, too.
The area titles are more to help people find a particular discussion or to help them know where a topic is likely to be. This one might not be so easy to find later because it is here instead of there.
<shrug> If you want it moved, let me know.
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited December 10, 2007).]
I remember one description where the character was compared to Alaska--big, face full of crags and peaks, white hair like a polar bear's, etc. It didn't give many specifics about the character, but it said a lot about him. I wish I could find it now to give a full example.
I also wish I could pull it off in my own writing. I tend to skip description because I end up collapsing into a junkheap of weak details.
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The man was a young brute, one of those handsome men who knock mountains to one side in order to clear the view. Primavera was both smitten and on her guard. She saw how his feet gripped the ground as he dismounted, as if his boots were filled with bronze feet, as if he were in the act of being cast already as his own statue. His dark eyes were tigers, prowling to strike at threats.~Gregory Maguire, Mirror Mirror
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I think description can give a few details about the person, but still leave a lot open to the imagination. Whats important to me is what the description tells me about the person.
I read in one of the many writing books on my shelf (sorry, i can't remember) that too often people resort to describing hair and eyes, which might be the most tempting to describe since these are the easy things--we all make eye contact, and hair is, well, right there. But these descriptions have become cliche, and have probably always been meaningless, since they don't really tell you much about who the character is.
[This message has been edited by annepin (edited December 11, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by annepin (edited December 11, 2007).]
You know his hair is dark and that a lock falls over his brow. I I always imagined him with dark eyes but I am quite sure she never said so. That boot thing gives the proper impression that he is in armor without ever saying so, or did to me. What matters, of course, is the stern mouth with love betrayed. You know what kind of man he is with just enough details to fill in the blanks.
And the funny thing is that I'm not generally a Carey fan. I agree that describing the hair and eyes has become a cliche.
On Carey, I tried reading the Kushiel series, on a friend's recommendation (and GRRM's), but couldn't get through it. The tidbit you posted is enough to make me try reading Banewrecker, though.
[This message has been edited by annepin (edited December 11, 2007).]
If there is a reason...it's important in , say a Darkover novel, whether X has red hair or not. Then, okay, tell me. But how many times is it crucial to know about hair color unless it's a mystery or something and that is a clue -- ?
Anne Perry had a lot of wonderful, short descriptions of minor characters in some of her Charlotte and Thomas Pitt novels.
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If there is a reason...it's important in , say a Darkover novel, whether X has red hair or not. Then, okay, tell me. But how many times is it crucial to know about hair color unless it's a mystery or something and that is a clue -- ?
Arriki, I was just thinking along the same lines. My thoughts were that an aspect of a character's appearance might be important to the story.
I never read The Green Mile, I only saw the movie, but if Michael Clarke Duncan is any indication of the character, then his size would be important to note. Knowing the character is such unusual size gives us possible insight into his past and experiences. And as he learn of his role in the murders, it's easy to imagine how that affected perceptions.
So I think there are cases where a particular aspect of appearance is important, one way or another.
Better, I think, to describe physical attributes that give a sense of physical being without getting too specific. I'll peruse some fiction tonight and try to find a description that does what I like. But I'm picky, so who knows if I'll find anything.