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Posted by Reagansgame (Member # 8149) on :
 
as a reader and a writer, I seek your personal insight.

I have a character who is lying to another, giving her a fake name, because if she knew who he was, well, she'd probably snap his neck. She hates him by reputation, but has never seen his face.

I find myself very confused reading back over what I've written. Is there a sorta formula for writing this scenario? Say I've got Joe Smith and Jane Doe, only Joe Smith has told Jane his real name is Bob. So, when writing from Jane's point of view, it's Bob she thinks and talks about. When writing from Joe's he is shown as Joe, (ie: "I am the awesomest," Joe said.) But, when other people talk to him, he is adressed as Bob.

This isn't something that I can remove, so that option is out. I'm reading a book now where a man is put back in time and is with his younger self, but the author just distinguises the two by calling one by his title and last name, and the other by just his first name, for the reader, and in the story his alias is worked in as little as possible. But, that is a lot different from what I have going on and it's only giving me a fraction of the much needed help.

Anyways, any experience or formula or websites with technical proper instructions would be appreciated. If you know what I'm talking about, could you let me in on the way you as a reader prefer it told.
 


Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :
 
Could always reference Bob by italics or quotes, kind of set that name out as being pecular or important.

"I can't believe this," said Bob to Jane.

"I can't believe this," said 'Bob' to Jane.

At least this way you can keep the names seperate and controlled, and only reference by Joe when he's alone.
 


Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :
 
You could have the character name inside Jane's dialog every so often. ("Why can't you believe this, Bob?" Jane said. "I just can't," Joe replied.)
 
Posted by TaleSpinner (Member # 5638) on :
 
What POV are you using for the story?

If it's close third and jumps between characters, as your post suggests, I don't see that you have an option. In Jane's POV you would have to refer to Joe as Bob, since that's the only name she has for him. In Joe's POV, since he'd think of himself as Joe, tags would need to be "Joe said" even if characters refer to him as Bob--else the narrator would become inconsistent and unreliable, I think.

If the POV is omniscient, then it's easier. Narrator refers to them by their real names regardless of what the characters say.

Either way, when POV is sorted, I guess you would have to insert as much--or as little--clue as to who's who in the narration.

Also, you could deliberately create confusion and ambiguity to reflect how the characters are feeling. Or, let Jane's scenes refer to Bob and have a big reveal that he's actually Joe, so we share her sense of shock and betrayal.

I doubt there's a standard technique and I think you have some opportunities for art here.

IIRC in "Time Enough for Love" the Lazurus Long character had several different names in his different lives. Heinlein helped the reader keep it straight by staying tight in Long's POV with close third, narrating his inner thoughts about his dual persona so we never forgot who was who; giving us quite long stories-within-stories which established the dual nature of the main character early; and popping out of them from time to time so that Long could talk to his biographer about what was happening--informing both biographer and us about what was going on.

Part of the trick, perhaps, is to give the reader periodic references, or grounding points, reminding her of who's who.

Another technique might be to narrate some scenes twice, once from Jane's perspective and again from Joe's.

Best of luck with this, sounds like an interesting challenge.
Pat
 


Posted by J (Member # 2197) on :
 
Can you write it from a single POV? That doesn't seem like it would be too hard for a reader to keep straight.
 
Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :
 
How long does this go on for?

I think you have two choices. Either you write as though he were always Bob, eventually ditching this when the POV character learns Bob's true identity. This works if you are writing limited 3rd person POV and are in the girl's POV. She thinks he's bob, he's bob to her. That's all he is. The trick for you is setting up the previous scene so that we readers know she's wrong...unless that's not something you want the readers to know (but if so - be careful. Withholding information from readers makes them *cranky!*)

or

You write so that only her POV refers to him as Bob. Everything else about him you write as Joe. So if she's addressing him, she uses the name Bob...but then if he responds to her, he is labeled as Joe. This would only work well in an omnicient point of view, which is not very common today and may be more challenging to work with.


 


Posted by Reagansgame (Member # 8149) on :
 
This scenario starts about five chaps out from the end of the book. I follow my people at a close 3rd.

Now, not to get too Days-of-our-Lives, here, I can further tell you that Jane hates Joe by reputation, but Joe thinks Jane is the ideal woman and he is aware that her finding out he is the Infamous Joe would really be bad for his chances with her and his chances of continuing to live.

I have to write from both POV, because, the Jane here is a pretty significant character, she's been out of the picture for a while, but she is an old primary, and the Joe/Bob is One of two MAIN characters.

The plus side is that there are two different directions at the end of my book. M/C1 is Joe/Bob and he goes off with Jane. But the other road follows MC2 and there isn't any lying going on there. So, even though the scenario goes on for a while, it is not continuously hectic.

It will take a bit of studying out to perfect, but I think it can be pulled off without confusion and I really need this for the plot to stay on target. It's part of one of those wow-zah moments in the story. So, the better this little part g+ets tweaked, the better the plot as a whole becomes. All of these ideas are helping me come up with the ultimate formula for this particular part. If you have more insight, please keep it coming.
 


Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
 
Well, consider how Tolkien used all the different names he had for Aragorn, son of Arathorn. He was introduced as Strider, the Ranger, and that's what the hobbits called him, even after they learned that his name was Aragorn. There were elves who called him Estel (hope), and he was also known as Isildur's Heir. When he was crowned king, he was named Elessar Telcontar, but the Rohirrim had a name for him and the people of Gondor knew him by yet another name.

And, of course, there is Gandalf (the Grey, the White, Mithrandir, Olorin, and so on).

Even with only Strider and Aragorn, the readers were able to keep track of who he was. I think you'll be okay with Joe and Bob, as long as you remind the readers every so often.
 




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