Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Which is right?

This is topic Which is right? in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Unwritten (Member # 7960) on :

So do you want a crit? or should I read this purely for fun?

So, do you want a crit, or should I just read this purely for fun?

So, do you want a crit, or should I just read this purely for fun.

Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

B.

Posted by Unwritten (Member # 7960) on :

That's what I thought, but B doesn't really give me the right inflection. I use this sentence form a lot and it always makes me crazy that there's not a better way to punctuate it.

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

In dialogue any of them could work. The first implies impatience--the emphasis will fall on the "do". The second is the more grammatically correct, but you're right, it has a different tone to it.

The third is sarcastic.

Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :

So do you want a crit? Or should I just read this purely for fun? might offer the sought-after impact.

Beginning a sentence with a conjunction is by no means as rigid a no-no as grammar school tyrants have hammered into we writers. So is itself a conjunction--albeit in an introductory and implied response to correspondence capacity--beginning the sentence. Following so with a comma is not generally a preferred style. It's like following and, or, but, or any other conjunction with an unnecessary comma. Of course, in that sentence, the conjunctions are separated by the serial comma: A, B, and C.

Style manuals and usage guides go on at length about what constitutes an appropriate style in the usage of conjunctions to begin a sentence. The guiding principle is that the idea of the sentence begun with a conjunction should contrast with the preceding sentence's idea. The object of the two sentences is the same, or at least implied as such: a story presented for reading; however, the subjects and predicates are not. Are the ideas the same or in contrast? I sense they are in opposition. For rhetorical effect, a pause, or for pace purposes, separating the two distinctly different questions is perfectly acceptable in creative prose.

[This message has been edited by extrinsic (edited September 17, 2008).]

Posted by Devnal (Member # 6724) on :

how bout

So, do you want a crit - or should I read this purely for fun?

I love dashes...

Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :

I like the second one.

Posted by TaleSpinner (Member # 5638) on :

So, do you want a crit? Or should I just read this purely for fun ...

Just 2c,
Pat

Posted by aspirit (Member # 7974) on :

The second part, "or should I read this purely for fun?", is unnecessary. "So do you want a crit?" conveys your point with less risk of seeming sarcastic.

Posted by InarticulateBabbler (Member # 4849) on :

Or simply:

quote:
So, do you want a crit or should I read this purely for fun?

[This message has been edited by InarticulateBabbler (edited September 17, 2008).]

Posted by Unwritten (Member # 7960) on :

Although I suspect Asprit is right:

quote:
The second part, "or should I read this purely for fun?", is unnecessary. "So do you want a crit?" conveys your point with less risk of seeming sarcastic.

I use this sentence structure way too much to completely change. But I used the dash today, and it made me happy. I might have to try the ellipsis soon too...

quote:
Can I just create a newsletter on Word and send it to you - or is there some other software I ought to use?