Just the first paragraph, though. Wow. Not even the first thirteen. Ouch. I'll have to think about that.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Not tighten, or polish, or any of that. But actually 'zing' it up, make it more exciting or daring or controversial.
The thing is...I think that would hurt my story. I've put a lot of effort into the pacing, and any changes to paragraph one could ruin it.
So, for those of you who submitted, did you find yourself tempted to do the same? To 'zing' it up?
Have to eventually anyway.
At least I didn't enter ten times...lol.
And there is an inordinate number of entrants that didn't get the "one paragraph" part, so I'm not the only idiot.
[This message has been edited by InarticulateBabbler (edited October 13, 2009).]
I found myself cringing at some of them, and I was interested in others, but I didn't get very far--too much else to read right now.
EDITED TO ADD: Thanks, InarticulateBabbler, for posting the link. Hope we have a Hatrack winner.
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited October 13, 2009).]
I didn't win Skadder's challege so I doubt I'd win this, but there really is no reason not to enter. Unless you feel sorry for Nathan.
[This message has been edited by MAP (edited October 13, 2009).]
Thanks for the link, IB. Doubly interesting because we'll get a glimpse into his taste. Anyway, I'll throw my hat in the ring at some point. Good luck, all!
I may have to rethink my skepticism on the 13-line theory. I have to point out, in my own defense, that there are now over 1300 entries, and if it didn't grab me right off the bat I said, "nope", and went to the next one.
Ummmm, on the other hand, that's not really a defense is it, since the opening thirteen theory is for that very same reason...
My head hurts.
I think there could be quite a lot to learn just from reading these and seeing what works for us as readers, whether they work for Bransford or not.
We could even vote (here, of course) or at least list the ones we would want to keep reading.
Hmm. Well, it was a thought, anyway.
Judging by her work alone, I'd say that he has a soft spot for quirky, funny stuff.
Good luck to everyone who enters! 
[This message has been edited by extrinsic (edited October 13, 2009).]
We read first 13's here often, but somehow seeing them all at once in a list like that really illustrates both cliched openings and hooks that are too contrived.
Kathleen - once he picks finalists, we could separately vote on them here, just for fun to see if we like what he likes.
Hmm....
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Hmm...I'm scanning through my completed work (and boy do I need to come up with a better file organizational scheme for them!) and realized that my best candidate for this might be the story that starts with a one-sentence paragraph.
That's got to be better than the slew of them I read that looked like the first three paragraphs (at least) had been slammed together for the contest.
Or, remove it and repost the complete version?
I decided against my one sentence paragraph, though it would have been funny. Thought it wouldn't give them enough of a flavor for what my writing is like. Instead I went with dialogue, which most entries lacked entirely. It's from my clone story, which has only recently come back available after hanging in Heinlein contest limbo-land for over a year. Looking forward to submitting it out after this.
I would love to delve into some of the greats and not-so-greats from the contest, though honestly I scanned 1-2 pages of posts (300-400 at the most) and my eyes are starting to go blurry already. Thank heavens it's not MY day job to deal with all these submissions!
As far as editing or deleting, I've tried (to get my 2 entries down to one), and it didn't work. I'm going to try again. and hopefully it pays off.
It's remarkable how derivative so many are. I read about 400 of them... absolutely mind-numbing. Slush reading must be some kind of art. I found myself skimming after while. How easy it must be to have your submission overlooked, all because your story is towards the end of a blurry period before the slush reader grabs another slug of JOLT!
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This is why all of the arguments about the first thirteen being unimportant are foolish. This is just a glance of what agents and editors look at all the time. If you don't want to read on, what does that say? How important do those thirteen lines/that opening paragraph then become?
I couldn't agree more.
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This is why all of the arguments about the first thirteen being unimportant are foolish.
I think too much weight is given to the first thirteen on this site, but the point is taken. Especially when it's shown by my own experience when reading these opening paragraphs.
However, it must be noted that this is an extreme example since there's one right after the other right after the other. I think with a slush pile, the reader can grab say, ten, and the sense of urgency in reviewing those first ten isn't as acute. It's one thing to look at ten (or even a hundred), and quite another to see over 1700 entries.
If I can get beyond the first thirteen, though, I'd like to say I think it has more to do with "voice" than anything else. There are some paragraphs that are competently written, but I've seen them before, and/or they're just...there. Not floating my boat, so to speak.
I mean, there's nothing really wrong with some of them, they just don't grab me. As KDW mentioned, there's quite a bit of "worst day-itis", and some even seemed to have crammed as much of the story into that one paragraph as they could.
Also, as Owasm said, it does remind us of how easy it is to overlook something that may be quite good because the reader is too tired.
Someone started their paragraph with, "It was a dark and stormy night..."
<sigh> We're never as good as we think we are, are we?
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However, it must be noted that this is an extreme example since there's one right after the other right after the other. I think with a slush pile, the reader can grab say, ten, and the sense of urgency in reviewing those first ten isn't as acute. It's one thing to look at ten (or even a hundred), and quite another to see over 1700 entries.
Counter-point, Rich. I read slush for flash fiction online, and I rarely read more than 4-8 stories in one sitting (available time problem on my part.) However, even then I still find that when my eyes glaze over, it's time to reject the item whether I'm one sentence or 500 words into it (our 'zine is a flash venue, so all stories are supposed to be under 1000 words...about 3-4 double-spaced pages, or several "flicks" on my iphone, LOL.)
I don't deny that this pile of paragraphs on Nathan's site is daunting, in a highly unusual way, but for slush reading for a fiction magazine, I do think it is somewhat representative of the mind blur that happens when you read story after story that starts in a stilted or typical way.
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Counter-point, Rich. I read slush for flash fiction online, and I rarely read more than 4-8 stories in one sitting
I might be different if:
a) Flash were valued as highly as publishing a novel
b) You were paid to read it all
c) You were an agent (who most authors would need to sell their books)
Nathan has made comments on his blog about the highly active times, and those in which a lull (which is still more than we'd think) occurs.
My point was: Stand out. This is a perfectly viable study of the type (and amounts) of submissions he recieves. Look at his archives, and you'll see actual stats (by percentages, I believe).
Edited to add: His post for today reveals he's not daunted by the numbers.
[This message has been edited by InarticulateBabbler (edited October 14, 2009).]
And I am 100% with you, IB - stand out. 13 lines is more than many slush/agents/editors will grant you if your work doesn't sparkle.
And point taken, guys (or gals as the case may be).
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IB, thanks a second time for passing along this link - great stuff! Only, I can't find the opening paragraph comments. Could you throw me a bone, or another link. Thanks.
Just click on "The 3rd Sort-of-Annual Stupendously Ultimate First Paragraph Challenge", wait a minute and scroll down.
[This message has been edited by InarticulateBabbler (edited October 15, 2009).]
arriki, one of the winners of the last "1st paragraph contest" had a typo. (That winner is also now a client of his.) Good luck.
My third pass I noted inconsistencies of direct/indirect addresses, grammatical persons, and narrative viewpoints. Not enough content length to determine inconsistencies of psychic access or psychic motility in most of the entries, but then they're single paragraphs mostly. Nor sufficient length for subtext either, in most.
I read a few more. It will be interesting to see what Mr. Bransford uses for criteria.
Good luck to all who've entered.
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Less than 2651 entries (there are a number of withdrawns and deleted by blog administrator (I wonder why?????).I read a few more. It will be interesting to see what Mr. Bransford uses for criteria.
Good luck to all who've entered.
Hiya Owasm,
I think it's pretty clear that he could easily eliminate several for rule breaking (multiple paragraphs!?), a huge chunk for perspective violations, and then pare even more down based on the 'today is the worst day of my life' beginnings. Or the 'waking up' beginnings.
In the end, I think it will still be down to between 500 and 1000, so those would be judged on merit and style and uniqueness or whatever. But initially, I suspect eliminations would be easy.
Best,
Jez
I liked 3 paragraphs: K&M, M, and Miridunn
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Given the ones he chose, and some of the good ones that didn't make the cut, I am really wondering what his criteria was...
I guess it's a matter of taste. Some of the paragraphs he chose don't do a thing to make me want to read on. I would not have picked the one that went on and on about the literary references, for example.
I notice that five of the chosen paragraphs (half) were first person. And one was apparently second person, which is really strange. I'm having difficulty imagining a whole novel in second person.
He's supposed to post on Monday about the paragraphs and why he chose the ones he did. We'll get a chance to find out then, I guess.
Edited to add: And, of course, from a quick glance at the votes, it looks like the one paragraph I liked least is in the lead. One man's meat is another man's poison, I guess. But I can't imagine reading a whole novel in that voice. I want to know what's happening in this story, not how many other novels you can name. And if it's not representative of the voice of the novel, why is it the first paragraph? JMO
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited October 17, 2009).]
Maintaining reader engagement for an entire novel in reflexive second person is hard to do well, probably the hardest narrative voice to pull off, but it's been done. One of the effective methods I've seen in reflexive second person involves a rich exterior life that's reflected in the interior life of the narrator. Another is judicious and consistent use of the self-referential you pronoun, as it is with first person pronouns in first person narratives.
I recommend the book Moth Smoke by Mohsin Hamid. Not speculative, not what I would usually read either, it was recommended by a friend. Describes living in modern day Pakistan and details the downward spiral of the main character. Warning: a little dark, details drug use.
But what stood out to me was the novel use of POV. Most chapters are told in first person by MC. Some chapters told POV by other characters, giving a different perspective on events, talking directly to the reader. Then, a few chapters use this second person device, telling YOU what you are seeing and hearing, the characters are speaking directly to you. By the end of the novel YOU are asked to make a decision about the MC.
First time I have ever encountered this type of reader engagement and it really worked for me!
And he said he was looking for execution, but one of the honorable mentions had a protagonist who "kneeled (past tense of kneel is knelt) on her knees" (there is no other way to kneel that I'm aware of). Man, I had trouble getting past that first sentence to the rest of the paragraph.
Well, I guess it's a difference of opinion that makes a horse race.
But I'm not much wiser than I was when the contest started.
Tone or voice, narrative point of view, mood, tenor, attitude, authorial flair, etc.
Gets readers into the flow, reader engagement--introduces resonance features that engage readers.
Trust, trustworthiness of the tacit contract between writer and reader that the story will live up to a promise of a darned good story, also somewhat tone/attitude, what the tone of the story will instill in readers: unbiased, biased, objective, subjective, reflexive, obviative, imperative, etc., narrator that readers self-identify with or align meaning space with.
Travis Erwin's winning entry does all that for me, the contradiction of naming the rhetorical tropes and scheme of the first sentence with the meta references to other novels and a celebrity in the later sentences speaks volumes in figurative references with potent subtext.
The antithetical statement "Not this one." is a literary device that asks for special notice. Saying so, that the story isn't a story heavily littered with literary devices, then doing exactly that with the meta references to To Kill a Mockingbird, etc. In other words, it's a litotes, a literary device, an understatement in which the affirmative is expressed by the negative of the contrary [Webster's 11th].
Personally, the litotes put me on point for contradictions and did exactly what "trust" should do, it told me that I'd read the novel expecting to question the narrator's veracity throughout. I could trust him to tell the story, but couldn't entirely trust his perspective. Welcome to the postmodern neoexistentialist world, question absolutes, question certainty, question authority, question everything.
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a protagonist who "kneeled (past tense of kneel is knelt)
American Vs. British English.
I just have trouble reconciling what he stated as his criteria--voice, flow, and trust, along with good execution and no gimmicks--with the paragraphs he chose. I'd learn more from it if the relationship from one to the other was clear.
Right now, all I can say I truly learned was that you can't ever tell what an agent will like, even when they tell you what it is they think they like.