Dechert clenched his fists and watched the crumbled rim of Arago B pass beneath his boots. He checked his rate of descent and said a quiet prayer that Quarles wasn’t stoned when he calibrated the minijets controlling his fall from space. The crater floor loomed in shadow more than two kilometers below. Dechert focused on the view just now receding above the rim rock, of the vertical impact cliffs rising along the edges of Ritter and Sabine to the southwest, and the dull slope of crater Dionysus as its chalky walls gleamed in the receding sunlight. His breathing grew heavy as he fell into darkness.
“You’re looking good, boss,” Quarles said into his helmet. “Jets are firing in synch and you’re at two meters per second, angle of attack sixty-eight degrees. You got your lamps on?”
He's testing a prototype jetsuit - basically a spacesuit fitted with vectoring thrusters, which will allow astronauts to "bounce" over the surface of the Moon in three or four-kilometer hops.
This becomes more apparent as the chapter moves forward, but maybe it is a little confusing at the beginning?
The character is leaping into the crater, slowly falling into the darkness. When the sun is setting on the Moon, crater floors are in full shadow, but the surface of the Moon remains illuminated. I'll work on that and take a look at naming all the craters as well. After hearing your feedback, it does seem like I was just throwing names out there to prove I've studied a Lunar map.
quote:
Dechert clenched his fists and watched the crumbled rim of Arago B pass beneath his boots.Okay, so he's mad or fearful about something (clenched fists) and he's walking on the rim of something--a crater?--causing it to crumble. He checked his rate of descent and said a quiet prayer that Quarles wasn’t stoned when he calibrated the minijets controlling his fall from space.Oh, wait, I must have mis-read that first sentence. He's jumped from a higher spot, maybe a space ship, and is controling his decent using jets. The rim of the crater was already crumbled and he's looking down to see that. Okay. The crater floor loomed in shadow more than two kilometers below. Okay, clear enough. The sunlight is coming in at an angle so the crater floor is in shadow. Dechert focused on the view just now receding above the rim rock I thought he was looking down past his feet. Is he changing focus or did I understand something wrong? And how can he focus on something that is just now slipping out of his view?, of the vertical impact cliffs rising along the edges of Ritter and Sabine to the southwest, and the dull slope of crater Dionysus as its chalky walls gleamed in the receding sunlight.Sounds to me more like he's looking around rather than focusing (looking intently) at anything. If he really is studying these scenes for some reason, then why? His breathing grew heavy as he fell into darkness.Is he passing out?
“You’re looking good, boss,”No, I guess not. I guess he's now in the shadow of the crater. Quarles said into his helmet. There's someone else with him? If Quarles is speaking into his (Quarle's) helmet, how can Dechert know what Quarles is saying? Or are they pressing helmets together? Or what? “Jets are firing in synch and you’re at two meters per second, angle of attack sixty-eight degrees. You got your lamps on?”Oh, is this Quarles back at the spaceship that Dechert jumped from?
Clearing things up for me would be pretty easy. Just move some of your information up to where I'm asking my questions so that I don't have to constantly be pausing to figure out what's going on and re-imagining it. I hope this was helpful.
[This message has been edited by DebbieKW (edited December 11, 2007).]
And sphinxsphere, you're absolutely correct. The "stoned" part was misplaced, and should be later in the story. I appreciate it!