Had it all been a dream? Had I snapped then, and been driven into a world of my own making? Had I imagined everyone, everything? Had I, in a brief fit of insanity and depression, fallen into oblivion? If so, was I still in that make-believe world, in my own dreams, in my imagined fantasyland?
Honestly, I don’t see how that would be possible. I don’t think I could have thought up someone as contradictory, as matriarchal, and as, quite frankly, powerful as Manil Sabraias. Nor could I have imagined someone like Hamri Wolf, the kindly doctor that also happened to be a very good teacher for me when my hopes were at their lowest. Artemis da’Merera would be pretty hard to fake, too. I most likely couldn’t have concocted a certain Sir Enokos Mordeth, a rival at first,
© Christopher Chen Story Enterprises, 2008
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited February 26, 2008).]
As you can see from checking out other posts, the rule around here is to post only the first 13 lines--this preserves your piece for future publication. People will comment on the first 13, and will ask to see the entire story if they are interested. Again, I suggest you go back and read in full the instructions
[This message has been edited by annepin (edited February 26, 2008).]
I hope my slip didn't leave you with a bad taste. I should have been more helpful.
The second paragraph gives us a little more grounding, but now I'm given names again, without any context. So, I'm not sure what to make of their names, either.
You could probably start nearly all novels with this same opening, changing only the character names and relationship to the main character. That can't be good.
Had it all been a dream? Had I snapped then, and been driven into a world of my own making? Had I imagined everyone, everything? Had I, in a brief fit of insanity and depression, fallen into oblivion? If so, was I still in that make-believe world, in my own dreams, in my imagined fantasyland?
Honestly, I don’t see how that would be possible. I don’t think I could have thought up someone as contradictory, as metrosexual, and as, quite frankly, powerful as Foster. Nor could I have imagined someone like Jubal Harshaw, the kindly doctor that also happened to be a very good teacher for me when my hopes were at their lowest. Jill would be pretty hard to fake, too. I most likely couldn’t have concocted a certain Reverend Digby, a rival at first, [MC: Michael Valentine Smith, Stanger in a Strange Land]
Good luck with it.
[This message has been edited by WouldBe (edited February 28, 2008).]