This is topic Graveyard - Dark Fantasy - asking for help with the first three to five chapters in forum Fragments and Feedback for Books at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.
As mentioned in the open discussions forum, I got a couple of requests for partials of my manuscript from two agents. One wants five chapters, the other three (I think; she just said to send the 'partial' and I was too dazed at the time to ask for specifics).
Anyway. What I'm looking for is people willing to read one or more chapters. I need grammatical/spelling error checks, and also general thoughts. Either one would be great. I can offer to trade crits, but I can't guarantee that I would get to them before mid-May. (sorry).
In any case, here's the first thirteen. Comments on that are, of course, always appreciated.
"Celeste wrapped her fingers around the wooden handle of the gate to the graveyard, cursing the splinters that broke off into her skin. Her stomach clenched as she pulled the gate toward her, but she made sure her movements were not hesitant. Any outward sign of fear would call the demon Sentinels to her. The gate banged back against the fence, and Celeste winced at the noise. She set her shoulders and walked toward the statue of the Guardian that stood only a dozen yards down the path. Beyond it stretched the graveyard, nearly one hundred meters square. It had looked so much smaller on the satellite images, but no less bleak. Like the dry lands that surrounded the graveyard, there was no life here, just frozen death. Brittle grass and leaves covered the ground, never changing or... "
Posted by Natej11 (Member # 8547) on :
I'll critique your work. Any bite from an agent is too good an opportunity to pass up, and I want to offer any meager support I can ^^.
Congratulations by the way.
Posted by WBSchmidt (Member # 8533) on :
I'll take a look at your first five chapters if you'd like. I was going to rework my novel's outline but I would be happy to put that off for a while to help you polish up the partial, especially if it helps you get an agent. As for a return critique, you won't have to worry about that since it will be a while before I have anything to trade.
-- William
Posted by BenM (Member # 8329) on :
Please email them when you're ready. From what I've picked up elsewhere, getting that opening polished just right is pretty important, so I'm happy to help if I can. I even have a couple of days off this weekend so it's a better time than most.
[I really should proof my posts...]
[This message has been edited by BenM (edited April 09, 2009).]
Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :
Since I've already read the first three chapters, I don't think I count as a fresh pair of eyes. But congratulations on the interest. As far as I've read, the story deserves it.
I'm looking forward to seeing the synopsis/outline when you've got that ready.
Posted by BoredCrow (Member # 5675) on :
Thank you sooo much, everyone. I really appreciate it! And WB, my chapters are quite short, so hopefully I won't distract you from your outline for too long.
And I should specify that I'm not looking just for new eyes. At some point here I've got to go over these chapters with a fine toothed comb and make sure there are zero typos and inconsistencies! Plus, any and all thoughts are always welcome.
Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :
quote:And I should specify that I'm not looking just for new eyes. At some point here I've got to go over these chapters with a fine toothed comb and make sure there are zero typos and inconsistencies! Plus, any and all thoughts are always welcome.
Well, I can certainly help with that part. And I'll be glad to.
Posted by BoredCrow (Member # 5675) on :
::shameless bump:: Posted by Kitti (Member # 7277) on :
If a shameless bump is your shameless way of asking for more readers, I should have some time this weekend to read and critique a few chapters.
