Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Logline for THE BARD'S GIFT

This is topic Logline for THE BARD'S GIFT in forum Fragments and Feedback for Books at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :

Pitch Madness is coming up. (Scroll down to get to the good stuff. [Wink]

) So, I need a logline for THE BARD'S GIFT, 35-word maximum.

Revised Version:

quote:
Shy Astrid's gift for telling the right story is the key to escape from starvation in medieval Greenland, to a new future where the map, if there was one, would read "Here be dragons".

Here's what I've got so far:

quote:
Shy Astrid's gift for telling the right story is the key to future away from starvation in Greenland in the New World, where the map, if there was one, would read "Here be dragons".

Go ahead. Rip, tear, shred.

[ March 12, 2013, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Meredith ]

Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :

Astrid is shy, though placing "shy" at the beginning of the sentence suggests "Shy Astrid" is her full given name.

She has a gift for storytelling.

The gift's nature projects a sense of Astrid being prescient.

Starvation in Greenland.

Starvation in the New World.

There be dragons there where Astrid is.

Six ideas, three about Astrid, three about the milieu. Consider focusing on one character trait and one milieu trait. Astrid's storytelling gift and a place of dragons feel strongest to me.

Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :

You left out "a" before "future." Also, is "in the New World" necessary? Could you just say "in a place" instead?

Also, the comma should come after Greenland and not after World.

Posted by JSchuler (Member # 8970) on :

I think I would get rid of "in the New World" and instead give a century, e.g. "in 15th century Greenland."

Posted by micmcd (Member # 7977) on :

I'm pro some sort of time setting, lest the line leave me wondering what kind of place has no maps in the modern world.

Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :

Revised version above.

Posted by Christian Behr (Member # 10043) on :

I like it. I like it.

What about leaving out the non-map part and saying something like, "...15th-century Greenland, and settling in the wilderness known only as 'Here be dragons'."