Those of you who have been around for awhile, this is one I've been kicking around in one incarnation or another for a long time. I've decided, since I've got this book that I still believe in, and I'm two drafts into another one that I'm in love with, I'm going to use the two books to explore two different paths simultaneously. With the other one, I'm pursuing the agent/traditional publisher route. With this one, I'm going to publish it as a serial on Wattpad and see what happens.
Here is the back cover blurb I've come up with. I'm far more confident in my ability to write the book than I am in my ability to write the blurb, so I really appreciate any feedback you guys have for me on this.
In the Meat House, there are only life sentences.
Chaya Mazar has just been branded a half-girl. With the blast of a grenade, life as she knows it ends. The world government that conquered her homeland and maimed her for life is shipping her off to the Meat House, a giant prison complex for half-people: those with handicaps that make them undesirable to society at large.
Roland Cruz may be the solution for the plight of the half-people. A citizen of one of the last free territories in the world, he discovers an unexplainable power: the power to heal any malady known to man. When his homeland comes up on the government's chopping block, though, even he can't stand in the face of raw power, and he finds that the world has little use for a failed messiah.
In the Meat House, a half-girl gets broken.
In the Meat House, a failed messiah comes to die.
If either is to have any hope for the future, each must find a way to heal the other.
It will be decided in the Meat House.
Posted by wetwilly (Member # 1818) on :
Anybody? Bueller? Anybody?
Posted by History (Member # 9213) on :
Hi ww,
As a "blurb", it is fine (i.e. it provides the setting, circumstances, the main protagonists, and hints at both the internal character conflicts within the external conflict of an oppressive dystopian regime), although it is not yet tightened to fully hook me.
What will make or break it for me (as always) is the quality of the writing and, as important, if I find the opening inescapably engaging on the first page.
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
Posted by wetwilly (Member # 1818) on :
Tighter?
In the Meat House, there are only life sentences.
With the blast of a grenade, life as Chaya Mazar knows it has ended. She has just been branded a half-girl; a deformed outcast, undesirable to society at large. Now, the totalitarian regime that conquered her homeland and maimed her for life is shipping her off with all of the other half-people to the giant prison complex known as the Meat House.
Roland Cruz may be the final hope for the half-people. A citizen of one of the last free territories in the world, he possesses an inexplicable power: the power to heal the afflictions of others. When his homeland comes up on the conqueror's chopping block, though, even Roland can't stand against the onslaught of raw military power.
In the Meat House, a half-girl gets broken.
In the Meat House, a failed messiah comes to die.
If either is to have any hope for the future, each must find a way to heal the other.
It will be decided in the Meat House.
Posted by History (Member # 9213) on :
Why don't you post your 1st thirteen lines of the story?
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
Posted by mayflower988 (Member # 9858) on :
I'm an amateur writer, never had anything published, and I've only been writing seriously for about a year. That being said, for what it's worth, your blurb made me want to read the story. I want to read the whole thing and find out what happens. That's the point of the blurb, right? To "hook" the reader so that they want to read the story? Well, you succeeded. Let us know when you start posting the story! :)