Hatrack River Writers Workshop: The Difference Engine

This is topic The Difference Engine in forum Discussing Published Hooks & Books at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Marzo (Member # 5495) on :

I'm reading The Difference Engine by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling right now, and at 151 pages into it, I can confidently say I'm enjoying it so far.

But I didn't find myself really hooked at all by the first 13. It was my friend's assurance of the novel's quality and the good names of the authors that kept me reading.

So, what would you guys think of this if it were an example by an as-yet unpublished author? (I should note, too, that if you read on, you'll discover this is a "reminiscing" scene that ties in to the main of the story, which happened a few years ago):

***

Composite image, optically encoded by escort-craft of the trans-Channel airship Lord Brunel: aerial view of suburban Cherbourg, Octover 14, 1905.

A villa, a garden, a balcony.

Erase the balcony’s wrought-iron curves, exposing a bath-chair and its occupant. Reflected sunset glints from the nickel-plate of the chair’s wheel-spokes.

The occupant, owner of the villa, rests her arthritic hands upon fabric woven by a Jacquard loom.

These hands consist of tendons, tissue, jointed bone. Through quiet processes of time and information, threads within the human cells have woven themselves into a woman.

Her name is Sybil Gerard.

***

Posted by Wolfe_boy (Member # 5456) on :

Isn't it funny..... if you posted this in the F&F section as your own, it would never pass muster. While the style and setting might be interesting, there is one character who does not a single thing. There is actually no action whatsoever; this is a recitation of a scan, as far as I can tell.

The only hook is that this is some type of enhanced imaging being made from an airship in pre WWI Europe. I don't know if I'm just being obtuse or what, but I don't really understnad what is going on, and I don't know why this old bat is important to me.

Moreover, I don't know that I care, based strictly on these opening 13.

Jayson Merryfield

Posted by HuntGod (Member # 2259) on :

I am a big Williams Gibson fan, I've tried to read Difference Engine several times and always put it down within 10-15 minutes and don't get around to picking it back up.

Glad to hear it does get better...maybe I'll give it another try.

Yes the first 13 lines for that are horrid.

Posted by InarticulateBabbler (Member # 4849) on :

Because of the tense, I wouldn't read it. If it was written in past tense, the first thirteen lines would probably have included more information.

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

I haven't read it, but the sample does intrigue me. Mostly it's the first sentence, establishing we're in an alternate world where there's air travel in an era where it wasn't known in our world...further details, like naming the airship "Lord Brunel," gives us a peg to hang it on...clever use of a metaphor...

I'd say it makes me want to read on---I probably won't, but it's definitely an interesting opening.

Posted by Marzo (Member # 5495) on :

HuntGod, I think I may have to take back what I've said.

The very beginning was disgruntling (see above.)

The early middle was entertaining, engaging, interesting.

But now, I'm at about page 300-something, and I feel like I've just slogged through 100 pages of action-packed meaninglessness. And what am I greeted with? More oddly-tensed abstracts and tons of hopping around.

I was willing to suspend my skepticism, but now I'm thinking that with that kind of 13 and the contents of the rest of the book, it sold on the authors' names. It was an interesting concept, but disappointingly executed.

Posted by HuntGod (Member # 2259) on :

I think that has to be Sterling's influence.

I haven't read anything by Sterling but have read most of what Gibson has written.

The tone definately has the hallmarks of the Gibson cyberpunk language, but the flow that is the hallmark of Neuromancer, Mona Lisa, Idoru etc. is markedly lacking.

There is a jarring disjointed quality that makes it a very unpleasant read. I have heard Sterling's writing called industrial and that would seem to be a good description for those first 13 lines.

I would like to have seen Gibson team with someone that was more compatible like maybe Neil Stephenson (SnowCrash, Diamond Age, Cryptonomicron and his opus series The Baroque Cycle, which are prequels of a sort to Cryptonomicron).

Posted by Matt Lust (Member # 3031) on :

I personally believe the first 13 lines for novels don't apply to the "reader" only to the "buyer."

Its a slight difference but an important one. If you take out the strict economic rationale of having a good first 13 in novels and instead make the standard a good 1st chapter of reading then I personally believe the bar is easier to clear.

Now selling a novel (especially a first) is a completely different matter.

Posted by Marzo (Member # 5495) on :

I agree with you, HuntGod - Neal Stephenson would have been a much better choice.

Ditto to you too, Matt.

I guess this means when we finally do get published, we can relax and feel free to pair up with incompatible writers and produce something tedious to read! Hooray!

Posted by HuntGod (Member # 2259) on :

Bah I don't need a partner to do that :-)

Posted by houstoncarr72 (Member # 5544) on :

I guess there's no accounting for taste, but I thought that first 13 brilliant. That's no defense for the rest of the book of course.

Posted by HuntGod (Member # 2259) on :

The problem is that it's 600 pages of that same stark industrial style and it becomes overpowering as the book goes on.

I can take small doses of Sterling and find his writing almost poetic in a robotic way. It's just too much when your dealing with a novel.

I also didn't get alot of Gibson coming through, what I struggled through seemed alot more like a Gibson idea written by Sterling. It lacked the lyrical flowing quality that hallmarks Gibson.