Hatrack River Writers Workshop: The Dark

This is topic The Dark in forum Discussing Published Hooks & Books at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by KPKilburn (Member # 6876) on :

Some of you may recognize this. I'll save the source and commentary until the end.

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In the summer of 1954, Anna and Richard Becker disappeard from Yosemite National Park along with Paul Becker, their three-year-old son. Their campsite was intact; two paper plates with half-eaten frankfurters remained on the picnic table, and a third frankfurter was in the trash. The rangers took several black-and-white photographs of the meal, which, when blown up to eight by ten, as part of the investigation, showed clearly the words love bites, carved into the wooden picnic table many years ago. There appeared to be some fresh scratches as well; the expert witness at the trial attributed them, with no great assurance, to racoon.
The Becker' car was still backed into the campsite, a green De Soto with a spare key under the right bumper and half a tank of gas.

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This is the First 13 (actually one word over) from a story called "The Dark" by Karen Joy Fowler. I got it from the book "Nebula Awards 27" edited by James Morrow, 1993.

I recently asked about prologues and posted an "infodumpish" example. Most said that they wouldn't read something that wasn't "action". Although this is not a prologue, to me it seems like an info dump. It goes on for many more paragraphs describing "Srping of 1960" and "August of 1962" before finally getting into the story with the line, "Which is finally where I come into the story. My name is Keith Harmon..."

I don't know who Karen Joy Fowler is, so reading this open strictly on its own merit and disregarding her past success (if any) makes me wonder - is it really that good?

I haven't read the story yet, but apparently the use of providing only information worked since it was good enough to win the Nebula Award. There must have been something that hooked the publishers and ultimately the judges.

What are your thoughts?

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

It _is_ info dumpy, but it's also describing a crime scene, and a mysterious crime at that. In this case, I think the author can rely on the bizarre facts of the crime to carry them through the summary. Furthermore, even though it is a summary, it written to feel rather active--rangers taking pictures, the half-eaten frankfurters, etc. It feels like you're stepping on to the scene yourself.

Does this hook me? Meh, kind of. I would probably at least read through the prologue to the first chapter. If the first chapter had the same tone, I'd probably lose interest. But if it started with a character, I'd probably continue.

As for the Nebula Award, I can't comment on that. I've found that both Nebula and Hugo Awards have little bearing on whether I'll actually like a book or not.

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

Well, it says a lot...a couple and their son disappeared...there was a trial, which implies an arrest, which implies a suspect...

I'd'a probably been a little more precise, with an exact date rather than "...in the summer of 1954..." But I'd rate it a good opening.

I've heard the name Karen Joy Fowler, but, I'm sorry to say, I know precious little of her work...

Posted by KPKilburn (Member # 6876) on :

quote:
I would probably at least read through the prologue to the first chapter.

I think I implied that this was a prologue, but it's actually just one continuous short story. I was talking about a discussion of prologues from a previous post. Sorry 'bout that. :-)