Start by simplifying. You aren't trying to tell them the entire plot, you're trying to tell them just enough to get them intrigued. In many ways, you're just trying to give them an idea of what pigeon-hole to put it in.
An example of trying to tell the whole plot:
Frodo Baggins, a hobbit who lives in the Shire, inherits a magic ring, which seems to only make the user invisible, from his Uncle Bilbo--who got it on a quest with Gandalf the Grey many years before--which seems like a nice trinket until Gandalf tells him that it has the power to rule everything and must be destroyed. Frodo, who is the only one who can bear the ring without succumbing to its corrupting power, joins Gandalf, Aragorn, Merrie, Sam, Pippin, on a journey across Middle-Earth to return the ring to Mordor, where it was forged to destroy it, before the curse of the ring destroys Frodo, as it has destroyed many men before, and before Sauron, the dark Lord of Morder, can find him and take the ring thus ruling Middle-Earth. On the way to Mordor, they pass through an enchanted forest, meet elves, talking trees, battle giant spiders, orcs and Gollum (a creature who used to own the ring and whose sanity was destroyed by it), receive gifts that allow them to ultimately be victorious in the climatic final battle against Sauron's massive army of Orcs and pass deep into Sauron's territory, but Frodo has to struggle not to loose his sanity the way other ring bearers have before him.
Huh?
Simplified plot:
Frodo Baggins, a hobbit, inherits a magic ring, which has the power to rule everything. Before it can fall into the wrong hands, Frodo and a group of humans, hobbits, an elf, a dwarf and a wizard, travel across Middle-Earth to return the ring to where it was forged, to destroy it. They not only have to fight others, but the power of the ring also causes them to fight among themselves.
Well, that's clearer, but it's fairly dry.
Next, focus on Mood:
What do I mean? It is as important to create an impression of the tone of the novel as it is to convey the plot.
An example of adding mood:
The young Hobbit, Frodo Baggins, inherits a ring, but this ring is no mere trinket--it is the One Ring, an instrument of absolute power that could rule Middle-earth and enslave its peoples. Tormented by the corrupting power of the One Ring, Frodo, together with a Fellowship that includes his loyal Hobbit friends, Humans, a Wizard, a Dwarf and an Elf, must journey across Middle-earth to Mount Doom and destroy the One Ring forever.
I've just cheated--that's an adaptation of the official movie website blurb. In fact, when I'm writing blurbs, I often imagine that the Voiceover Guy from the movies is reading my blurb.
Okay, now it's your turn. I'll start by making it easy; here's the plot of the Little]http://www.pedagonet.com/quickies/bk2.htm]Little Match Girl.
Plot:
An orphaned Danish girl is selling matches in the snow. She gets cold and while lighting the matches to try to stay warm, hallucinates that she sees things in the flames. At the end, she freezes to death.
(ugh. Who wants to read that?)
Now, try writing a blurb.
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited May 28, 2005).]
Who could resist reading THAT book???
Long Winded Plot Summary:
Viniece Cloud Vinesley writes in his Journal about a dream he had had some years back on Christmas Eve. Starting out funny it then turns dark, and he becomes aware that someone was changing his dream. They took him through a similar sequence as the familiar story of Scrooge, and taught him a few things about the world and himself. His brother Slicer plays the role of the third ghost and shows Viniece a vision of them approaching their lake-side cabin, long since dilapidated, and finding their sister devoured by some hideous beast. He forewarns him that the day this vision comes to bear, he will have work to do. The dream returns to happy musings and Viniece wakes up to find that whoever took him on his detour stuck around for the end of the dream and left him a Christmas present.
Simplified Plot Summary:
Viniece writes in his Journal about a Christmas Eve dream he once had, in which some other force takes him on a detour from happy musings to dark omens, using the familiar sequence of events from _A Christmas Carol_. What does the future hold?
i'm going to say that my simplified plot summary is already good enough for a "blurb"
so, how did i do?
[This message has been edited by dpatridge (edited May 29, 2005).]
From the first version, I know that there's something about his family and a cabin and a hideous beast - the beast sounds interesting.
i deviate a LOT from the actuality of the story, for one thing, Viniece, at this point, is definitely no Scrooge, although he ends up developing into something close later in life, but this story doesn't concern itself with anything past the Journal entry...
i really have no idea how to approach a blurb for this story, that's the reason i chose it. heh.
the "hideous beast" is only in one single vision at the end of the _Christmas Carol_ sequence... it doesn't play an important enough role to be featured in a blurb.
and i don't really address who took over his dreams either...
A poor little girl sells matches in the freezing cold. She defies her father's anger by lighting a match to stay warm, and within the flame she see's images of the life that eludes her, a life of simple pleasures unattainable in her eyes. She see's her grandmother in her last vision, her spirit leaves the wretched world of the flesh, and joins the perfect bliss of heaven.
i don't mean that negatively, your writing is anything but horrific, actually, it's just... that doesn't really tell us anything about the story, it hints, it's vague, and yet it tugs at you and urges you to find out what is REALLY going on.
and that's a good thing, imo, blurbs SHOULD hint and tug at you. giving the plot away in a blurb is a nono.
[This message has been edited by dpatridge (edited May 30, 2005).]
yeah, reading that blurb as an editor it certainly tells us what's happening.
whereas mine didn't.
i'm still not sure how to approach this for mine...
It’s new years eve, and snow floats down onto the crowd. All are happy, the new year is almost here! But one girl doesn’t participate in the joy. But one, lone girl can not. She shivers in the night as she begs for someone to purchase one of her feeble matches. The cold is nearly unbearable, and so she strikes the match. A simple flame to keep a poor girl warm, or is there more to it then that?
Who knows what wonders the flame’s will hold?
Er... Trust me, that is not my best writing. I'm a bit tired right now.
I think that that's better. Sorry my first one was too long.
A young girl selling matches in the cold of New Year begins to strike them in hopes of keeping warm. In the flames, she finds a sort of magic as visions of that which she is lacking: warmth, food, celebration, and family. In the end, the heat of the matches is not enough to save the child, and she dies, going " where there is neither cold, hunger, nor pain."
I don't think I like the transition between the beginning of the last sentence and the end. Mep. Perhaps I should have broken it up.
Read MaryRobinette's May 30th post above.
thedorkygirl, I really like your last sentence. Using the quote from the story is nice, but if this were your story you wouldn't have to put it into quotes. (Although one could make a case for doing it as you've done it) The words are all yours.