What have I learned from my lineage?
1. You have to wait an hour for a fake train to take you to see a sleeping polar bear.
2. Everyone loves to see whales throw around men, even if they are wearing wet bodysuits. Men and women are divided when whales throw around women, especially when they are wearing wet bodysuits.
3. Don't trust local weather forecasters - "cold" has different meanings in other cultures, and 68 degrees really means 75 degrees.
4. When you see people standing in a human blowdryer after getting off a ride don't just assume they were sitting in the raft incorrectly.
5. Spiderman charges $26 for six-year-olds to take a picture with him.
5. It really is a small world after all. It's a small, small world, and we were all crammed into it like sardines.
6. Universal must have not made a descent movie since 1997's Men in Black, except for The Simpson's Movie.
7. Line timers at Universal are off by about 30 minutes, but after you've been standing there for an hour, they know that they have you where they want you and you're not going anywhere.
8. People will actually get into a line that indicates the wait time is 220 minutes - that is over 3 1/2 hours!!! - Is there a metric conversion of time where people could be confused or are there that many people who can't count?
9. If you choose to eat at a restaurant that has either a dinosaur on the front of the building or is inside a giant blue ball expect to pay $70 for two hamburgers and a kid's chicken meal.
10. Don't take your child to a McDonald's with a big playcenter soon after spending a lot of money at a theme park unless you want to hear him say, "This place is better than D...!"
[This message has been edited by philocinemas (edited December 02, 2008).]
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...really really really really really hate standing in line.
I explained to him that he should get used to it, because he will spend half his life waiting in queues.
I like to go were there are little to no humans and lots of my kind (somewhere in northern Canada) and hunt wild elk, moose, mule deer, caribou and hippies. (if hippies can be located)
I went to Universal Studios 2007 October when I was on mid tour R&R from AFG. It was not to crowded and yes the prices were insane. I did have flashbacks to firefights when I was on the Popeye river raft ride. I heard the fake cannon and it sounded like real incoming rockets. That was an interesting experience.
May I suggest that the next family vacation be to middle of no were Canada where it is quiet and peaceful and you may have your solitude and tranquility, and the little bugger can run around the woods and play and do what ever kids do. (I don’t really know what kids do any more for I have forgotten most of my childhood. And I am almost 22 years old. Quite young.)
Anyway.
I wish you luck next time.
RFW2nd
And the commies thought they had us beat in pointless exersizes in futility. At least they would wait for hours for essentials, like toliet paper and bread. Only in a true capatilistic society will people waste their valuable off time to wait endlessly and pay big bucks to do so.
Join me in praise for our great way of life! Just stand right there behind philocinemas and...