Hatrack River Writers Workshop: My New Year's Resolutions.

This is topic My New Year's Resolutions. in forum Grist for the Mill at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by EP Kaplan (Member # 5688) on :

No, It's not December. It is however, Elul, the last month of the Hebrew civil calendar. This Friday is Rosh Hashana, which will commence the year 5770 (where did the time go?), and so it's time for me to make my New Year's resolutions.

Why now, you ask? Why not December? Why not? For one thing, this traditionally mean, when I was growing up, that any changes I made to my life would happen somewhere around the beginning of the school year, which is a damn fine way of measuring time. If I promised to do well, study more, or put more time aside for HW, why not start at the beginning of the semester?

For another, who wants to deal with radical changes during the winter? Jersey (where I live) gets cold, and Canada (where I have a lot of friends and family) gets even colder. Last thing you need is even more stress in the middle of a season where one religion suggests you to eat as much as you can to celebrate their savior's birth, and another one suggests the same thing, only you should fry everything to instead symbolize the oil used in sanctification of their temple. Even an atheist is going to find the temptation of Grandma's special ham and yams (do you guys eat yams with ham?) and latkes and applesauce downright irresistible.

And Gregorian New Year's is traditionally perceived as a straight up "party holiday". Jewish holidays always have lots of symbolism and significance and meaning. Even Purim, the holiday perhaps most notorious for having a minimum drunkenness, is also about freedom of thought, humanism, and charity. Why not tack a little more on with Rosh Hashana? There's a fast of atonement a week later, so why not get a head start?

1- Dean's list. Since I'm taking my first math class in 6 semesters, this might be trickier than it sounds. At least I can bank on my creative nonfiction class, a few histories, and ceramics in the spring for things I'll find engaging enough to want to do well at.

2- Sell at least two short stories. This is to get me to keep up with my submissions, to keep stories from languishing on my hard drive.

3- Write at least 100,000 words of fiction. Find time between work and school and friends to get back into a consistent rhythm of writing

4- Complete a submission packet for the Stegner Fellowship.
Work and my degree can wait if they're going to pay me to be in a writing workshop. It's a longshot, but a better bet than almost any racehorse.

5- A nice Jewish girl? Eh. Maybe.

And to anyone else celebrating this weekend, l'shana tovah!

Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

quote:
1- Dean's list. Since I'm taking my first math class in 6 semesters, this might be trickier than it sounds. At least I can bank on my creative nonfiction class, a few histories, and ceramics in the spring for things I'll find engaging enough to want to do well at.

Good luck with this! I always like to remind students, though: outside of college campuses, no one cares about GPA. So while it's worth the pursuit, don't get TOO wrapped up in it (And whatever you do, do NOT go into a job interview and brag that your GPA went up 2 one-hundredths of a point. No one cares.

quote:
2- Sell at least two short stories. This is to get me to keep up with my submissions, to keep stories from languishing on my hard drive.

How about this: Challenge yourself to submit ten times that number of stories. Selling is difficult, but if you practice submitting, then you can use the wet-pasta-on-the-wall theorem: some of it has to stick eventually.

quote:
3- Write at least 100,000 words of fiction. Find time between work and school and friends to get back into a consistent rhythm of writing

100k really isn't as hard as it sounds. A meaningful 100k though is extremely difficult. Good luck with this one. It's a milestone when you first cross that number regardless, and it'll feel really good when you do.

quote:
4- Complete a submission packet for the Stegner Fellowship. Work and my degree can wait if they're going to pay me to be in a writing workshop. It's a longshot, but a better bet than almost any racehorse.

Again, good luck!

quote:
5- A nice Jewish girl? Eh. Maybe.

**insert teasing comment here**

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

You shouldn't resolve to accomplish anything that's outside your control---like selling a story. Writing a story is fine, so is sending it off to market...but selling one would be dependent on someone else [i]buying/i] one.

Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

How come whenever Robert says the same thing I do, he always sounds a thousand times more intelligent than myself?

**golf clap**

Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :

I'm not Jewish, but people think I am, perhaps it's because my beard looks Hasidic.

But good luck.

Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :

Anyone else notice how the best comedians are usually Jewish?

Why is that?

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

How intelligent was it of me to get the [i]italics/i] wrong? (Just like I did here, but that's just for demonstration purposes.)

Posted by EP Kaplan (Member # 5688) on :

Thanks everybody. The way I figure it, if I sell two short stories, imagine how many I'll write.

Dean's list matters mostly because I intend to transfer to get my Master's in History, maybe even a PhD (Dr Kaplan, anyone?) While a boss or editor won't care about what my GPA is, the folks at "insert transfer school here" probably do. And a scholarship or two wouldn't hurt to cover the costs.

100,000 words of fiction in a year is something I haven't done since 2005, when I wrote the novel I'm editing right now (I like to let them ferment before I come back for editing, so I can take what I've learned and apply it, as well as having fresh eyes). It's my first novel, raw, a young man's novel. In fact, I think I started it back when, according to the state of New Jersey, I was a "boy" and not a "man". I imagine this is something like how Stephen King felt when he first reread The Gunslinger.

Can't say I have the classic beard, though I do sport some heavy duty sideburns that fulfill the same function as those curly things the chassidlings have.

As for our comedians, keep in mind it's a knack we've been honing for a long, long time. Even the Torah has its fair share of witticisms.

Q: How many Orthodox Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What? Change?

[This message has been edited by EP Kaplan (edited September 15, 2009).]