Not Alone (Flash fiction) - Hatrack River Writers Workshop

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Not Alone (Flash fiction)

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Author	Topic: Not Alone (Flash fiction)
EP Kaplan Member	posted November 05, 2009 09:02 PM Look ahead now, not back, not down, only forward. See the singular light in the darkness. ‘Moon’, some call it, but they speak metaphorically, of course. It is Truth, alone in a sea of lies. Listen closely, John, for I know both questions and answers. I stand beside you atop the world. What is freefall, really? The passing of stories and the wind in your hair. A few seconds of your heart pounding in your ears, the blood flowing through you as your body realizes that its hold on your glorious immortal spirit ends when your voyage does, with the abrupt end to a rapid descent. The falling is sweet, John, and the end is never felt. You will ascend and emerge; you will be greater, more, beyond this obsolete body. [This message has been edited by EP Kaplan (edited November 05, 2009).] IP: Logged
tchernabyelo Member	posted November 06, 2009 10:56 AM With my theoretical editorial hat on: I'm intrigued enough to read on to find out who is talking and whether John really is about to die. But you can't get away with doing this for more thn a few more lines, because then I'll think you're just prevaricating IP: Logged
ScardeyDog Member	posted November 06, 2009 02:15 PM I like it. Does the whole story continue like this? That seems like it would be difficult to do, so I'm curious. IP: Logged
NoTimeToThink Member	posted November 06, 2009 07:52 PM Wonderfully poetic, but I agree with tcher I need to know what's going on soon. BTW, I don't know if this was your intention, but it's reminding me of Satan tempting Jesus to throw himself off the heights and be rescued by the angels. Who is the voice? IP: Logged
EP Kaplan Member	posted November 06, 2009 10:04 PM Does the whole story continue like this? That seems like it would be difficult to do, so I'm curious. Sort of, but not really. It's principally a monologue, but the structure of it changes over the course of a few pages. I wouldn't write a novel like this, that's for sure, but I think flash can be a little more forgiving. BTW, I don't know if this was your intention, but it's reminding me of Satan tempting Jesus to throw himself off the heights and be rescued by the angels. I read the Christian Bible quite a few years back, but I don't recall that particular story. The voice, however, is very similar. It's the voice inside a crazy person's head, trying to convince him to throw himself from a skyscraper. I'm sure, though, that if 1st Century Judea had had skyscrapers... IP: Logged
Roy Willis Member	posted November 06, 2009 10:56 PM Enjoyed it, and I certainly would read on. Whether it's evil tempting good or crazy urging pseudo-sane off the heights, a good story makes one desire the next word, sentence, paragraph, page, chapter. Your flash did it for me. It'd be hard to follow for long, but that's because it has intensity. IP: Logged

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