HUB - The Hatrack Utility Belt - A MUST for Writers


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Author	Topic: HUB - The Hatrack Utility Belt - A MUST for Writers
mikemunsil Member	posted October 24, 2004 10:56 AM There were so many new members lately that I thought it appropriate to bring this benefit back into focus. New members! Donā€™t forget to take advantage of the Hatrack Utility Belt and its ever-growing list of upgrades and attachments! The HUB is now issued in version 1.2. We urge caution. Please review the threads at http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum11/HTML/000386.html and http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum11/HTML/000419.html for examples of the device in use. ---------------------- HUB v.1.2 all the version 1.0 basic utilities, the version 1.1 upgrades, and includes the following: Disbelief Suspenders! These handy, dandy accessories come in a variety of colours and styles, guarenteed to match any wardrobe. Use the suspenders on their own to add enjoyment to any flight of fancy you may encounter. Or wear them with your HUB and use them to help hold-up the disbelief in your own writing. Already own the HUB 1.1? Do you only want the Disbelief Suspenders? Not a problem! Redeem your Hatrack points for any HUB upgrade. Including a lovely set of Furry Dice (available in jet black, Mary-Kay pink, or winter white), or, the Hatrack ray-gun and attachments. Prose Depurple-izer ā€“ well, ask Magic Beans about it. Hatrack Utility Belt v1.0 ------------------------------ Proximity Alarm - for POV shifts Hatrack Pen/Glowing Blade of Words ā€“ slices through logical conundrums with appalling ease! Furry Dice - used to stun the reader with a superfluosity of adjectives. Sometimes called "Fuzzy Dice" by Hatrackers who have not studied the Manual. Universal Travel Guide ā€“ Instant information for any place a Hatracker might find herself, hisself, or itself. Spell-checker ā€“ works in the backgrond but cannot read your mind. The Deus Ex Machina attachment ā€“ For last resort only! A glass tube about four inches long and an inch in diameter; marked "EMERGENCY USE ONLY. Does anything you want. Geiger counter ā€“ only field tested on felines, so far. Infinitive Splitter ā€“ Has a large blast radius. An awesome tool! BS Detector ā€“ Everone needs one. 'Handwavium' pellets - Really useful for getting through sticky science scenes. A bosunā€™s whistle to summon the The Penmanship, the Hatrack sloop. Invisibility booster ā€“ most of us donā€™t need it. The Ultimate Weapon - The ultimate weapon for a Hatracker caught in a dilemma in any thread. - A small black lock. ---------------- HUB v1.1 Upgrades Rising Action switch - can help elevate you in a situation but be sure you can get to a safe place before you reach the top of the story arc or you'll crash to the ground Levity Belt attachment - this should only be used in a comical situation otherwise you'll go over like a lead baloon in a serious situation Instant Quotations - for nailing down a point. The k d-w. Pull it out and it throws a stern admonition that instantly sets you back on course. Make sure not to throw a KDW instead, or you will be catapulted willynilly into the future!! Hatrack Ray-Gun with attachments Hyphenator: used to break-things-up Procrastinator: used to slow things down Punctuator: used to punch-up things that appear flat or life-less! (Works well when used with hyphenator) Excelerator: used to create graphs which act as webs or nets, trapping people and things until the graph is deciphered The Incredible Coincidence generator. Shoot someone and see what happens. You'll be amazed! Also, each set of Furry Dice should come with a warning label. If you received yours without one it should read as follows: Use with caution. Furry Dice may result in the creation of a Tom Swifty demon. This small boy grows quickly and can easily take-over your taglines, cluttering them with adjectives and said-bookisms. Tom Swifty is often dressed entirely in black and he carries a small pouch of dust to litter your lines. [This message has been edited by mikemunsil (edited October 24, 2004).] IP: Logged
Merlin Member	posted October 24, 2004 02:45 PM Ohhhh... When do I get mine? IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted October 24, 2004 03:41 PM You already have it. IP: Logged
Shanu Member	posted October 25, 2004 10:34 AM Mmm. With great power comes great responsibility! IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted October 25, 2004 01:42 PM Yep. Tom Swifty ate my lunch one day. And I have a permanet set of Furry Dice, with my name engraved! IP: Logged
QuantumLogic Member	posted October 25, 2004 11:54 PM Don't forget the web of intrigue: useful for collecting loose plot fragments, among other things. Also, where did my idea generator go? There's a place for it on my belt, but it's empty. IP: Logged
Pyre Dynasty Member	posted October 30, 2004 01:21 AM My Fuzzy dice(jet black BTW) seem to keep catching fire, am I using too much acetylene? IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 23, 2005 08:22 AM The HUB! IT's time for an upgrade, folks. I challenge our new members to propose some additions to this device! Quantum Tunneling for working your way to the top of an editor's slush pile? An armor-plated ego for taking critiques in hand? Go for it! IP: Logged
JohnSWalsh Member	posted February 23, 2005 09:11 AM Buttseatium: Super adhesive to keep the seat of the writer attached to the chair so he/she actually writes. Turnoffium: Prevents the writer from turning on the internet connection when he/she is supposed to be writing. That is all... IP: Logged
HSO Member	posted February 23, 2005 09:38 AM Note for non-American HUB users, most specifically any UK HUB user: "Suspenders" in the US are equivalent to "braces" I believe. However, "braces" doesn't quite fit the whole disbelief thing, thus we recommend the American variant. For American users: Suspenders in the UK are the garters that hold up a woman's stockings. IP: Logged
HSO Member	posted February 23, 2005 09:49 AM Final note: My HUB has a special button for activating an insta-Survivor-critique, by the way. I press it and Survivor immediately responds with anything that is wrong with my story. Quite handy, I admit. IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 23, 2005 10:12 AM Re: UK Suspenders We knew that! Why else would the manual say "Use the suspenders on their own to add enjoyment to any flight of fancy you may encounter.".? IP: Logged
HSO Member	posted February 23, 2005 10:23 AM Sometimes I gloss right over the obvious, Mike. Sorry. IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 23, 2005 11:56 AM You should be sorry. I am offended. Offendedly yours, mike et al IP: Logged
theokaluza Member	posted February 23, 2005 01:27 PM Emergency Shut-Off Switch: Disables all telephones, televisions, and doorbells in your home for a four hour period. You may not over ride this four hour period no matter how frustrated you feel with your writing. IP: Logged
rjzeller Member	posted February 23, 2005 02:08 PM HSO -- I had to dissable my insta-Survivor-critique button. Everytime I'd activate it my brain would start hurting and it'd take me hours to recover. That button knows too much, that's all there is too it. It's lethal in the hands of a fool like me. IP: Logged
Jeraliey Member	posted February 23, 2005 06:22 PM Is that ethical, to shut the Survivor button off? It must, after all, be sentient.... IP: Logged
Robyn_Hood Member	posted February 23, 2005 06:32 PM Don't worry about the Survivor Switch (or was it a button?). It is an optional upgrade and acts as a sort of back-up to the Hatrack Bosun Whistle, which is used to summon The Penmanship, the Hatrack Sloop captained by our very own Survivor. IP: Logged
MrClean Member	posted February 23, 2005 06:38 PM From my world I have carried with me a "BUCKET OF SUBSTANCE" It has properties of unusual character and so far no one has been able to define what it is made of. All new people who come into our world are required to go and obtain the Bucket of Substance on their first day. Maybe this substance could be bottled in smaller portions that could be attached to the utility belt and used when needed. I just placed an order for the HUB so I can see if the substance is compatable. I'll let you know. MC [This message has been edited by MrClean (edited February 23, 2005).] IP: Logged
Jeraliey Member	posted February 23, 2005 07:47 PM How did I miss that Survivor was the captain of the Penmanship? IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 23, 2005 08:09 PM http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum11/HTML/000386.html It was after the split infinitve broke part of Texas off and the Gulf surged in, Survivor surfing the leading wave with his usual flair, at the helm of the Penmanship. IP: Logged
Robyn_Hood Member	posted February 23, 2005 08:41 PM Actually, MaryRobinette had already made it home from Texas. The split infinitive caused part of the West Coast to fall off into the Pacific Ocean, making Portland a seaside city. IP: Logged
Robyn_Hood Member	posted February 23, 2005 08:43 PM I was checking back through the Dallas thread a bit and discovered that we've forgotten to include the literary license. Every writer needs one of those! IP: Logged
Jeraliey Member	posted February 24, 2005 01:16 AM Duly noted. Thanks, Mike! IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 26, 2005 08:11 PM Just bringing this back up to the top for our new snacks! er, victims. No, friends, that's it! Our new friends! IP: Logged
franc li Member	posted February 26, 2005 11:47 PM The "Survivor Switch" could be misconstrued as a punishment device. What's a clever name for something that will tell you that your dream from last night is not the brilliant source material that it seems to be when you first wake up? Ex-dream makeover? IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 27, 2005 12:03 AM Mid-Summer Night's Dream Cream? IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted February 27, 2005 12:07 AM quote: Is that ethical, to shut the Survivor button off? It must, after all, be sentient.... Hmmm. Well, Survivor is actally a 3 million-year old robot from the future. Is it ethical to shut him down? Well, he's our offspring, and he's older than we, albeit in a time-warped sort of way. You tell me! IP: Logged
Jeraliey Member	posted February 27, 2005 12:12 AM ........................... IP: Logged
Survivor Member	posted February 27, 2005 02:30 AM Disabling the switch doesn't to anything to the main iteration, it only disconnects the local node. A note of caution, I can (and have) capsize a boat without getting myself wet. This doesn't mean I'll do it on purpose, it's just something to remember when sailing with me. Just because I'm confident I won't end up in over my head, that doesn't mean that you won't. IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted March 06, 2005 08:39 PM bringing this back up to the top again. IP: Logged
hoptoad Member	posted March 06, 2005 11:03 PM Newbicide Spray ( joking, just joking ) IP: Logged
TaShaJaRo Member	posted March 07, 2005 02:18 AM I just read the threads that started this whole thing and laughed my head off. We used to do that on an old message board I was part of. We called it The Neverending Story. I would suggest a fragment fragger for the HUB. IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted March 07, 2005 08:12 AM quote: Newbicide Spray Slow-acting, must be mixed with equal parts of sweat-equity and humility. [This message has been edited by mikemunsil (edited March 07, 2005).] IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted March 07, 2005 08:15 AM quote: Fragment Fragger Used without caution, it leads to a superfluosity of commas and a shortness of breath. IP: Logged
franc li Member	posted March 07, 2005 11:58 AM Or the dreaded semicolonoscopy. IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted March 07, 2005 02:51 PM OUCH! You MUST be related to Survivor. Your words are equally barbed. IP: Logged
djvdakota Member	posted March 07, 2005 06:12 PM Uncommitted-Newbie Night-Vision Goggles! Those who aren't going to last more than a dozen posts show up glowing green on the forums! IP: Logged
Ray Member	posted March 08, 2005 01:16 AM What do the Night Vision Goggles say about me? IP: Logged
rickfisher Member	posted March 08, 2005 01:28 AM The Newbie-goggles work extremely well, but they're a bit slow. Ask us again in a month. IP: Logged
ScottMiller Member	posted March 08, 2005 03:39 AM OOH! I know what I want for Christmas this year. I have an immunity to newbicide. It must be the special natural protection of my thick skull and naturally enlarged ego (much better than an enlarged prostate, far less medically dangerous, and provides disbelieving friends with hours of hilarity). On a more practical note, I would like to add an uber-back-brace, for those of us with uncomfortable chairs we can't afford to replace, and an Automatic Glute Exerciser, so even those with a sedentary lifestyle can enjoy Buns Of Steel (also helps with uncomfortable chairs--see above). IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted March 08, 2005 08:34 AM Two or three more devices and we're going to have to go to Version 2. I think we should prepare a user manual. Anyone up to helping out with that, or taking over the project? I'm behind on 1)critiquing, 2) submitting, 3)writing, and 4)paying bills. Well, 4) can wait. IP: Logged
Pyre Dynasty Member	posted March 08, 2005 02:05 PM The Portable Door- Allows you to walk through walls. Good for exporing ideas beyond your reach and horribly fun at parties. The Paperweight Reader- magically reads your hard-drive in the case of computer tradgedy. (I've actually had to use this once. BACK UP EVERYTHING!) Ice Cream Dispenser- Good for a cold sweet sensation that makes people happy. Caution: if used too much will cause brain freeze. IP: Logged
djvdakota Member	posted March 08, 2005 04:22 PM Hmm. Ray... Two days, three posts. At this rate--if you choose to keep it up--you ought to make the cut. But just BARELY!! IP: Logged
franc li Member	posted March 08, 2005 11:55 PM I didn't realize it was possible to view post counts. Then I checked the profiles. Weird. Oh look, there is a smilies legend too. And a UBB code legend. You can tell I've been made soft by hanging around the books, film and whatever forum. IP: Logged
Jaina Member	posted March 10, 2005 12:46 AM Why don't we do those stories anymore? Those look like fun! IP: Logged
TaShaJaRo Member	posted March 10, 2005 01:15 AM I agree. IP: Logged
MaryRobinette Member	posted March 10, 2005 02:19 AM Mostly because I refuse to get stuck in anymore airports. Not that it's done me much good... IP: Logged
mikemunsil Member	posted March 10, 2005 07:00 AM I feel a MaryRo story coming on. It's almost here. Better set the stage, or we will! evil grin IP: Logged
Jeraliey Member	posted March 13, 2005 11:56 PM I got stuck in JFK for 24 hrs...pretend it was Mary, and foil her insidious plot to avoid more Destination chronicals! IP: Logged

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