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 Hatrack River Writers Workshop
 Fragments and Feedback for Nonfiction
 The Mourning Week
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| Author | Topic: The Mourning Week |
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EP Kaplan Member |
posted May 28, 2009 02:34 AM
  
This is an essay detailing my thoughts on how we deal with death after recently sitting shiva with a friend's family for his grandfather. It certainly has a religious, yes, Jewish aspect, but I think the overall theme is universal. It totals in at around 700 words, at the moment, but I think I might like to lengthen it. "Every time a Jew dies, all other Jews should mourn." It wasn't my grandfather who had died, but I felt the passing all the same. It wasn't even family. It was Scott's grandfather, and he was like family. Every Passover since the 10th grade included at least one evening at his house, and the traditions and jokes of seder at the Thompson household had even become my own, and hell, a few of my traditions and jokes had become theirs. Scott's mother kvetched at me for smoking as naggingly as my own mother would have, had she and I not made a habit of trading favorite ashtrays. Old Jewish men fill a certain niche in the world, as I'm sure old Irish men and old Chinese men do, but their worlds are not mine, and mine is a wold populated by old Jewish men. [This message has been edited by EP Kaplan (edited May 28, 2009).] IP: Logged |
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BenM Member |
posted May 28, 2009 02:57 AM
I was pulled out by this: Scott's mother kvetched at me for smoking as naggingly as my own mother would have, as I wasn't sure if naggingly was an adverb being applied to 'smoking' or 'kvetched' - could it be clearer with '...mother kvetched naggingly at me...'? As someone unfamiliar with Jewish cultural idioms, I must brush over 'seder' and 'kvetched', attempting to get their meaning from their context (and I did find myself wondering if seder is a proper noun and should be capitalised). While I'd read on (I'm interested in the subject and setting), I suspect some readers might want more to latch onto when encountering new terminology. Though, of course, it depends on whether your intended audience is going to be familiar with these terms. IP: Logged |
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eslteacher Member |
posted June 03, 2009 07:44 PM
I love the phrase 'old Jewish men' - it speaks to me, although I am not Jewish. I would read this! I hope that the universality of the topic comes out as you expand your essay, without compromising the 'Jewish-ness' of the piece, which is quite valuable. Hope that makes sense. [This message has been edited by eslteacher (edited June 03, 2009).] IP: Logged |
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