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Why do I feel like now after my first date, I feel more confused as what to do now than I did before I asked her out. I also feel like it is harder to speak to her. Could someone answer these questions...please. -Lee
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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If you would tell us what happend to make you feel that way it would be ezer but i'd say its just now that u have spent time with her u like her more and aer just more afrade to mess it up.
Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2003
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It is more or less for that reason, I really don't know what move to make now, I dunno weither to ask her out again, to go one step further, or to hang up the coat for a while so I can re- stratagize. Could someone help a "Love Sick" puppy out? Probably from someone who has had experience. -Lee
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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Did it go well? Yes? Then ask her out again. No? In that case, was it okay, or an absolute disaster? Okay? Then ask her out again. An absolute disaster? Then it sucks to be you.
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if you like hr and it went good ask her out again. but what ever you do dont look to interested if u come on to strong some girls dont like that dont call every few secs u know kinda let her call see if she is as into it as you or i could be all wrong its up to you.
Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2003
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OK, we have been on the phone for the last 2 1/2 hrs, she asked me out...what a turn of events, we are going to the mall with her friend's date.I hope to have a little longer lip lock than last time, hopefully, the mall thing is tomorrow, becasue of her friend's date, so I hope to correct my mistakes if any, tomorrow. What if she wats to go to her place, what do I say, should I have a condom on hand if the time occurs, should I not take a condom, should I just expect for me to watch a movie with her. Should I take some mints? -Lee
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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I am in eigth grade, I am not ready to have sex, I am not ready to deal with the consequences of sex. I don't have any expectation of having sex with anyone for quite some time.
I'm seventeen, if my boyfriend tried to pull on me what you're thinking of pulling on this girl, he would regret it. You're thirteen or fourteen, if you think she's going to go for this whole condom thing, especially on your second date, you are going to be very rudely disabused of the notion.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
I decided against the whole condom thing, I don't think I am ready for that, but what I am gonna do is take a good deal of cash,some breath mints, and my mom or dad's cell phone. I'll let you know how it went later. -Lee
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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Hmmm... If your that young, when you go to her house I hardly doubt it means anything THAT serious. Breath mints? Have them all the time, everywhere you go. You never know who you might meet.
Posts: 872 | Registered: Feb 2001
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Lee, listen. I really, really hope you were being tongue-in-cheek, because all of the following are really disturbing:
1. Having sex in eighth grade 2. Considering having sex in eighth grade 3. Having sex on the second date 4. Asking anonymous people on the internet for help in deciding whether to have sex on the second date in the eighth grade*
*(okay, we'll overlook this one because at least you had the sense to come to Hatrack , but it's still disturbing)
These are also very tacky things to do. Talking about whether or not to have sex on an internet forum does not make you look cool or sophisticated. Instead, you resemble all the other scared and intimidated young guys out there who are trying to look adult. (Or, you really would base your decision about something so important and personal on anonymous advice, which is even worse. Again, at least it's Hatrack, but come on!)
You want to impress us? Want to stand out from the crowd, be memorable, be really different, be known as somebody special here? Lose the focus on sex. Yes, people who have intercourse and do not want to have children or expose themselves to nasty infections should use protection. But Lee, for you to be considering this is like worrying about whether you know how to operate the latest surgical lasers.
You aren't a brain surgeon!
That is, it's a sensible and responsible thing to worry about, but it should be completely irrelevant to your life right now. There's a time and place for that concern, but it isn't now. (Though, if you were crazy enough to attempt brain surgery at your age, I sure hope you would try use the laser properly. You'd probably end up with a very sad, messy situation, but at least you'd minimize the damage you'd do. )
Tell us instead about why you like this young woman. Write a short story about it, or a poem, or try to figure out what sort of character she'd be in one of OSC's books. Be clever, be creative, show us your smarts and utter good sense. Impress us.
But stay away from the brain surgery!
[EDIT:
quote:I decided against the whole condom thing, I don't think I am ready for that ...
Get used to the confused feeling, too. It never really goes away.
Navigating the rough courses of friendship and dating throws everybody off, and it always will. That's part of the fun of it, although it can be overwhelming at times. And it's one of the big reasons why it's important not to do really crazy stuff that puts you or other people at risk.
Think of it like some really heavy whitewater rafting. Even the most experienced guys can drown, so move slowly, be prepared, and try not to make big decisions which you can't turn back on. The more experience you have, the easier it gets, but it's never going to be really easy -- it's always going to be important to pay attention and make good decisions.
I've been married for two years now, and sometimes I still get caught up in the whirlwinds. But I know I can trust my sweetheart -- he's in it for the long haul, and we are working together. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Tom, man, I sure hope he's a troll. But my 16-yr-old-girl-smoking-cigarettes-because-she-thinks-it-makes-her-look-older BS detector has been ringing off the hook. That is, this feels (to me) like one of those cases of talk/act outrageous in hopes of scoring points, even though this just highlights one's inexperience and insecurity.
But we can always hope. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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And by the way, I'm trying to steal your wife today. I have a room that needs painting, and it's been far too long since I've seen you guys. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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For the sake of argument, I'm going to assume that you are really in eighth grade. My son is in sixth grade and knows a lot more about sex than I did at that age (I'm 34). Luckily, my son feels he can talk to me about things he hears from friends and although he has no interest in girls from this standpoint yet, it's amazing how his friends at school talk about it- with many inaccuracies, of course. My advice is to find an adult that you trust and talk to them about what you're feeling. I think its good that you are asking questions, but a forum full of strangers isn't the place for such an important discussion and personal matter. If you feel too embarrassed to talk to a parent, look to a teacher, counselor, coach or someone else you trust. And trust me, your parents are more aware that you're growing up than you think they are. Try talking to them. Not that Hatrackers aren't real people, but you need a face-to-face talk on this one. Good luck.
Posts: 55 | Registered: May 2003
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1) This isn't the place to ask about your dates. 2) You are too young to be dating anyone. 3) I don't believe you, any of it. We all fell victim to your sham.
Posts: 277 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Just don't rush her, even though you really want to. Don't be a suck and above ALL if you do see her more, don't get jealous if you see her flirting with other guys. Pretend it doesen't bother you--even though it does-- she'll respect you for your maturity--don't cling to her either...remember your 13 or 14 right? you'll probably have 3 or 4 more relationships before you truelly settle down...now's the time to be cool. I'm not insulting you --or any other male teen here-- by saying she's more mature than you because she is...it's only natural. You gotta rise up to her maturity...I only wish i had this advice when i was your age.
Posts: 12 | Registered: Jun 2003
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I would never rush her, never, none of you have to belive this, If I am shaming this forum, someone please, give me a sign of some sort. Referring back to what UTAH said, what do you mean to young to be dating? I am almost 14, in 2 months, and 13 days. I have to go get ready for my second date. Later Just so you know, I am crazy, you should never hit a crazy person. -Lee
JK about being crazy..sorta
[ June 08, 2003, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: Lee M. ]
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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For benefit of the doubt I'm going to assume the whole condom thing was just because you heard a lot of the BS that goes around guys at that age and are just inexperienced at dating. On what UTAH said, I think that it's great that you found someone you liked and were able to connect and go on a date. At 13-14 years old it's good to start dating so you do have an idea about what the dating scene is, what girls like and don't like, what do you like in a girl, and learning how to communicate well. I hope any further dates go well, but don't even think about sex until your old enough to know whats going on. Never give in to pressure to have sex even if its coming from your date. I'd advise abstinence but hey that's just me
Posts: 34 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Ah, that days where girls were far more mature than boys. I'm glad that ends midway through high school.
Anyway, dating is something you should wait until you're about 16 for. I waited until then, and I'm close to a possible engagement with the girl I have been with for nearly 3 years.
Wait man, it's all worth it. Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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If, by some miracle you arent actually gay (jk), I'd say to ignore this thread in its entirety. When in doubt think, "What will make a better story?" And do that. On a side note, you should start working out heavily over the summer. That way, when you get over this chick, you can move on much less painfully. I know everyone else will disagree with me and preach abstinence, but I know what you want to hear.
--Locke
p.s. There's plenty of good stuff to do with a chica other than having sex.
Posts: 56 | Registered: May 2003
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From your tone you sound like some gay gang banger, but I COULD be wrong, the idea of sex in my mind is gone. -Lee
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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Oh and you don't know what I want to hear, unless your some kind of freaky physic, you have no idea what I like, and what I like to do, other than my favorite "extra carricullar activity" -Lee
Posts: 69 | Registered: May 2003
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Lee, most guys at your age that are bragging about sex, are full of it. It is like that all the way through high school. Even those that are, do not experience much (especially the females). To be quite frank, sex at that age is pathetic. I believe in not having sex until you are married, but that is just a personal belief and has little to do with even religion. Quite simply though, if you were ready for sex, you would not have the concerns, questions, or worries that you do.
As for relationships, keep it simple. If you like someone, let them know. If they like you as well, then spend some time with them. If you still like them, ask them out again. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2003
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