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Mr. Card (and all other readers):

First of all (before I am possible destroyed to bits by fanatical readers who believe that I am ungraciously and unrightiously attacking our beloved author, Mr. Orson Scott Card, by giving my own two cents when it comes to his most current work) I would like to make it clear that I absolutely love the Ender series, as well as anything else (Alvin Maker, Lovelock, etc.) that I have read by Mr. Card. I also enjoyed very much the overly genorous opportunity all Ender fans were given by this author on this Website by being able to read the opening chapters of the long awaited novel, Shadow of the Giant. I read it thoroughly, and just thought that Mr. Card might appreciate my feeble attempts to find things grammatically and perhaps content-wise that didn't quite work for me. I have tried my best to be true to the books I so love when examining this partial manuscript, thinking all the while 'How could this be made better for Ender fans everywhere?'.

I would also like to note that many of my comments might be made from the mere fact that I do not know how this story is going to turn out. Things that seem confusing might be just because they are to be explained later on in the manuscript. My own ignorance from what is going to happen is probably a source of error in these comments, as is my not-perfect memory (I am not at all like Bean in that, or anything I think
).

First of all, it was very interesting to recieve information from the view of Han Tzu (Hot Soup), as we have obviously have had very little from him in any of the Ender books. However, it does seem pretty random, how he so suddenly becomes emporer of China. This is explained in the manuscript, of course, but from little building up of the character in Shadow Puppets, and none at all in Shadow of the Hegemon or (that I really remember) in Ender's Shadow, it seems somewhat lacking. We as the readers (or rather, I as a reader) do not know Han Tzu. I know who he is, of course, and I've seen something of his character when he blows up (to an extent) in Shadow Puppets. But that is not enough to go on when it comes to his actions in Mandate of Heaven (the name of the chapter).

Another thing I noticed, throughout the manuscript, was a little thing that gets on my nerves. It is a pet peeve of mine, I admit, and might mean little in retrospect. But it is there nonetheless. What is grinding on me so heavily throughout this partial manuscript is excessive use of the phrase "so-and-so <insert name here>" or "said <insert name here>". This is, as has been previously stated, throughout these three chapters. Some examples? They seem to be most evident in chapter three, Coup.

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"Petra," said Peter, "you're right. I owe everything to you and Bean. But that doesn't change the fact that whatever you think of me and whatever you think of the office of Hegemon, I hold that office, and I'm trying to use it to avoid another bloody war."

"You're trying to use your office to make your office into 'dictator of the world.' Unless you can figure out a way to extend your reach out to the colonies and become 'dictator of the known universe.'"

"We don't actually have any colonies yet," said Peter. "The ships are all still in transit and will be until we're all dead. But by the time they arrive, I'd like them to send their ansible messages back home to an Earth that is united under a single democratic government."

"It's the democratic part I missed," said Petra. "Who elected you?"

"Since I don't have any actual authority over anybody, Petra, how can it possibly matter if I'm not legitimately authorized?"

"You argue like a debater," she said. "You don't actually have to have an idea, you just have to have a seemingly clever refutation."

"And you argue like a nine-year-old," said Peter. "Sticking your fingers in your ears and going 'La la la' and 'same to you.'"

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I know it's probably not that important, but it is one thing I noticed, and it was really, as stated above, grinding on my nerves.

As I am a busy person, I currently do not have the time to complete this going-through of the current manuscript as has been read by myself. I apologize profusely if these ideas have been stated by others and not noticed by myself, as well as if I am being much to nit-picky for my own good. I would also like to thank Mr. Card very much for allowing us, his humble fans, to read through this piece of Shadow of the Giant.

Thank You,

Miss Yerf,
Age 15

Posts: 6 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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What really set him up for a major role in SotG in my mind was the way Card used some of his emails in the beginning of a few chapters in Shadow Puppets.

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Posts: 6 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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First of all, it was very interesting to recieve information from the view of Han Tzu (Hot Soup), as we have obviously have had very little from him in any of the Ender books.

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Posts: 28 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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I love how he always brings new characters into the story and makes us fall in love with them just as much as the "classic" characters.

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I like that too. I makes the story that much more interesting, both to the reader and I'm guessing probably to the writer. I'm looking forward to possibly hearing more about Han Tzu, since we know very little about him right now. My point though was that we know so little about him at the present time that his take over of China is almost random. At least to me. But hey, I'm just a 15 year old kid; what do I know?

Miss Yerf

Posts: 6 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged |