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Topic: Begging the Question (a game)

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

What does the alcoholic do now that he lost his hands?

Crappy weather in Paradise.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

claytonia the absurd
Member
Member # 3865

posted

I hear Jimmy Buffet has really run out of ideas. What's the title of his new one?

Once you go crack, you never go back!

Posts: 140 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mazzic
Member
Member # 2185

posted

What did the demented chiropractor say to his intern on the first day?

Blue bells and periwinkle perfume.

Posts: 126 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

What does a lady give a man if she wants to make him nervous on the first date?

People should be banned from driving after reaching a certain mental state in their lives.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What's with all the people bicycling in California?

I prefer a non-dairy topping, please.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

Time for the Packers game! Bob, got your cheesehead?

It almost looks like a monkey swallowing a chainsaw.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

Wow, and you say she's having twins?

There's a fly strip in the air.

{Editted for idiocy.}

[This message has been edited by Centurion (edited September 23, 2002).]

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

So Centurion, what's up?

No, i'll take it to go.

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

Would you like to go see your newborn son in the recovery room, sir?

I was attacked by an angry Republican and a swarm of bees.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

So, how was it visiting David Bowles?

..... and then i said to her "What chicken?"

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

So after she told you we were in for foul weather, what did you do?

Napkin Origami.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

Something I could never do?

A trunk of junk and a ticket to fly.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

So, what did you find in that car you stole from the drug dealer?

Paris, France.

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

2
Member
Member # 4107

posted

What isn't black, white, and read all over?

I was up all night flirting.

Posts: 149 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

Where'd all these phone numbers come from?

For when the metal ones decide to come for you.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

2
Member
Member # 4107

posted

Why do I have to keep practicing with these stupid paper birds?

Well I never said you weren't invited.

Posts: 149 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

I don't have a tutu, but can I come too 2?

Two plus two does to equal four.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

2
Member
Member # 4107

posted

Chuck plus wood does to woodchucking as... ?

We met having sex.

Posts: 149 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

You say you finally found your long, lost sister?

An entire roll of duct tape.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jeniwren
Member
Member # 2002

posted

What did you use to get all the hair removed from your body?

Lush green grass and a pink tulip.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

What was on the picture that Centurion vomitted on?

Belly button lint.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

I'm famished...what's for breakfast?

I used to have three.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jeniwren
Member
Member # 2002

posted

Frisco, what's this scar in the middle of your chest, right between your two nipples?

Stand back! It's loaded!

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

Could you show me the EX model?

Take two alka seltzer and call me in the morning.

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

What did the wife of that obese guy say when they were leaving the chili eating contest?

{Editted: because we both replied to the same post and mine still works for both. I'm so gooood! }

Tony De Marko looks cool on the History Channel.

[This message has been edited by Centurion (edited September 24, 2002).]

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

List me one thing that he does that is cool.

I wouldn't tell her even if shewas nocking lamps over with it.

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

What did the porn director say about his starlet's bad position?

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

So, how would you describe your date?

Don't roller skate naked threw a herd of Elephants.

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

jeniwren
Member
Member # 2002

posted

So, Mr. Williams, I understand you just got back from Africa. That must have been exciting! What was the most important thing you discovered?

We all scream for ice cream.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Leonide
Member
Member # 4157

posted

Oh, you're part of a cult? What's your slogan?

The Hallelujah Chorus

Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Lizard Wrestler: "I am tough. I creamed macho mann, I creamed The Undertaker. I creamed Hulk Hogan. Now it comes to this new guy, Vanilla Ice. Well, my loving audience, what do you want me to make of him?"

[Simo Post, but hey, it still kinda works]

He is the Professional Wrestler of Hatrackers.

[This message has been edited by Dan_raven (edited September 24, 2002).]

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

What does he do again?

You don't say. (Because Ralphie did.)

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

:Locke
Member
Member # 2255

posted

She did WHAT with the whip???

Silly monkey, you can't get drunk on banannas...or can you?

Posts: 1744 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

Leonide
Member
Member # 4157

posted

*beats fists upon chest*
Ooo..Ooaahh...Oohoohaha?

(edited to change answer: okay, it was a bad answer, i was trying to be clever and failed miserably ;0p)

The land of Nod, where all the happy people go.

[This message has been edited by Leonide (edited September 25, 2002).]

Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

They smoke that to go where?

JFMAMJJASOND

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

jeniwren
Member
Member # 2002

posted

Can you think of a shorter name for our organization? Right now, we call ourselves the Jugglers From Macedonia and Maine, Just Juggling And Singing Over New Developments. It seems a little long and incomprehensible at this point.

She must have a great personality.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Leonide
Member
Member # 4157

posted

Wait -- is that guy dating a brain-eating zombie?

The Bureau of Better Beef

Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

Your butcher is a member of the BBB?

Sloppy.

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

What do you call a world class sadistic dictator who gasses his own people with poisons?

I am Saddaam, Saddaam am I.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Leonide
Member
Member # 4157

posted

What's the most twisted version of Green Eggs and Ham you've ever read?

Tiny little dots. All over the linoleum.

Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

Whatdid her bikini look like?

A shade more shade.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Khavanon
Member
Member # 929

posted

Is there anything else I can do for you, master?

Like pumice.

(Edit: spelling)

[This message has been edited by Khavanon (edited September 25, 2002).]

Posts: 2523 | Registered: May 2000 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

How did your breakfast taste, honey? It was 100% vegan.

I'm giving up my career as an organ grinder.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

2
Member
Member # 4107

posted

What's with all this "Work from home" literature you've been getting in the mail lately?

Things have never been so swell.

(I am absolutely furious with myself for being at work earlier, rather than sitting here catching Leonide's Little Shop reference...)
[Edit: spelling]

[This message has been edited by 2 (edited September 26, 2002).]

Posts: 149 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Khavanon
Member
Member # 929

posted

How's the mortician business going?

They're flat, slimy organisms.

Posts: 2523 | Registered: May 2000 | IP: Logged |

Centurion
Member
Member # 3956

posted

Is that your wife's family?

Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Posts: 717 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

:Locke
Member
Member # 2255

posted

He did WHAT with the flag?

I went to the dentist but the thing in my mouth ate him.

Posts: 1744 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

The dentist is missing, have you seen him?

Dinner is served. Urp.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Leonide
Member
Member # 4157

posted

Jeeves, why are there bread crumbs on your chin?

There is only one BookMaster.

(2: yay for catching that! i was hoping someone would )

Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Why are YOU the bookmaster and not I?

Yup. A monkey, Enders Game, and 2 bananas.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

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