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Topic: Begging the Question (a game)

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What do you call lawyers who show up for court unprepared?

Snap, Crackle and Die!

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Diosmel Duda
Member
Member # 2180

posted

So let me get this straight. You stab the deer with a butcher's knife and eat its heart out before it's dead?

I just don't understand you!

edit: Whoa. Bob's post has been there for over an hour but didn't show up until I posted. Crazy...

[This message has been edited by Diosmel Duda (edited November 08, 2002).]

Posts: 537 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

NdRa
Member
Member # 2295

posted

Why don't you take off those headphones so you can hear me?

Only a moron would think he could get away with it.

Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2001 | IP: Logged |

Marlozhan
Member
Member # 2422

posted

What? Be so in love with the new cool CGI effects that his whole movie is computer animated, including the pears on a character's dinner plate?

Yep, I have lost every last one of them and I am proud of it!

Posts: 684 | Registered: Aug 2001 | IP: Logged |

jeniwren
Member
Member # 2002

posted

Hey, I heard you lost your virginity....how was it?

Hiding. Quietly. In the closet.

Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Tammy
Member
Member # 4119

posted

Geesh I can't believe I actually let you set me up with a blind date...btw..where is he?

Because he's into rugged individualism.

Posts: 3771 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

posted

Why did that lumberjack take a dump in my bushes when there's a bathroom right here?

10 biscuits and some lard.

Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Oh man, my mom gave me Tuna again. What did your mom give you for lunch?

Its supposed to be one of those "bonding" experiences.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Tell me again why you put crazy glue on the toilet seat?

Accidently on purpose.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Did you put crazy glue on my toliet seat?!?

I could have used that you know.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Narnia
Member
Member # 1071

posted

Can you believe that I found your machete in the trunk of my car?

He's related to Flash Gordon.

Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged |

MyrddinFyre
Member
Member # 2576

posted

Tell me again, just why did he commit suicide?

It's electric. Boogy woogy woogy.

Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001 | IP: Logged |

Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

posted

Is your nose-cleaner battery-powered or manual?

Winona Ryder.

Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

Tammy
Member
Member # 4119

posted

How in the world are you going to buy your dress, your maid of honors dress and 16 bridesmaid dresses with only $400? Exactly who's going to help you accomplish that?

Because the man from Mars stopped eating bars, now he only eats guitars.

Posts: 3771 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

The Notorious Mr Meme
Member
Member # 3958

posted

Why are you praying to the monkey god?

Yeah, so you talk to fish. Give me my car keys back.

Posts: 52 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Aquaman: Batman, Im not stealing your batmobile. Don't you know who I am?

The monkey was fluent in German.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mazzic
Member
Member # 2185

posted

Why on earth were you up there dancing the polka with that monkey?

But the bear knew what way to turn.

Posts: 126 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

The Notorious Mr Meme
Member
Member # 3958

posted

So why'd you leave the monkey?

That was a ripper.

Posts: 52 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Who's listed in the phone book before Jack The Ripper?

You are quite the cut up.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

posted

So did I tell you I got a job at Enron?

The Mets are going to the World Series.

Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

So, your son made a birthday wish and all you can do is lie? Quick, lets test it out.

Im not sure but it involved a sock, cheesecake, and rope. Lots of rope.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

posted

OK, I got drunk and then the stripper showed up. What happened next?

I'm disappointed yet again.

Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

Narnia
Member
Member # 1071

posted

Did you hear that they already got someone to play the part of Bongo the Bear in that new Broadway show?

It sounded like a portuguese-speaking Arabian from the Bronx....

Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged |

The Notorious Mr Meme
Member
Member # 3958

posted

Was that your mother?

He's been rubbing bald monkeys again.

Posts: 52 | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

I heard Bob is back to his old hobbies. Which one is it this time?

I figured Pi to the 1,000th place, then had lunch.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Diosmel Duda
Member
Member # 2180

posted

Did you do anything productive today?

Gosh, I just LOVE you, Corporal. *giggle*

Posts: 537 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Hey Sarge, any signs of Iraqi nerve gas?

Brains are a terrible thing to waste.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

:Locke
Member
Member # 2255

posted

You used Tabasco sauce on them?

I found it in my pants.

Posts: 1744 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

So where was the neighbor's parakeet?

Warm, with a slight chance of snow.

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Fael
Member
Member # 3015

posted

You say the weatherman has finally gone off the edge? Why what was his forecast for today?

Cheese….Cheese ….CHEESE

Posts: 765 | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Now put your face in the live alligators mouth and say cheese.

That's what I call a face off.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What operation can turn a cube into a box?

Help is on the way.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Batman, I keep getting this darn printing error. Can you come over and get me set up?

Oooooo, egg nog!

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

posted

Hey! Here comes Nog! What should we do?

5 pounds.

Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What can I get for $7.50 U.S.?

I write better with a stolen pen.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

You broke into the bank at midnight with an assortment of tools, and you want us to believe you were only trying to cut the stupid chains off of the pens. Why would anyone do that?

Engelbert and Humperdink would.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Diosmel Duda
Member
Member # 2180

posted

Who would want to start a war in this wonderful world?

Because I couldn't decide which peach to pick.

Posts: 537 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

Why were you doing "eenie meanie miney moe" in the middle of the produce section?

I fart in your general direction!

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Diosmel Duda
Member
Member # 2180

posted

Honey, what do you do when I'm not around?

Please remove all snap bracelets.

Posts: 537 | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

What's your advice for all our 80's time travellers?

Go ahead - punch me!

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

I enjoy the "tape a note to someone's back" practical joke as much as anyone, but on your own grandmother? What does it say?

I'd never seen a man so terrified of squirrels.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

dkw
Member
Member # 3264

posted

Have you met my uncle Alvin?

Abraham Lincoln and Q-bert.

Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Ooops. They were supposed to print our bussiness cards as Abraham, Lincoln, and Alberts--Mobile Gynocologists. What did they put on the card?

I'm Henry the 8th I am.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

dkw
Member
Member # 3264

posted

Okay sweetie, do you remember what to say when the teacher asks what your name is?

French-fried.

Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Icarus
Member
Member # 3162

posted

Erm, you want your lobster how?

He was wearing a diaper!

Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What's the big deal? Everyone needs a change every once in a while.

Driving Miss Lazy.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Where were you when the lights went out on Hatrack?

I plead the fifth of scotch.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

Dude - you were so wasted last night! What did you end up getting tattoed across your butt?

Everybody hurts sometimes.

[This message has been edited by ludosti (edited November 15, 2002).]

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Tammy
Member
Member # 4119

posted

They only played REM at your prom? What was the theme?

Well you said to shove you into the shallow water before you got to deep.

Posts: 3771 | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

glub blub glub-glub, glub?

I am not that shallow.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

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