posted
You know, the Tortoise in the Hare doesn't have enough alliteration in it, and it makes it kind of boring. What could I write that would be more fun for the kids?
posted
I just bought 34,000 strands of Christmas lights and plugged them all into the same socket and burnt my house to the ground. Can't you help me hoist the blame onto somebody else?
Every person who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips should be boiled in his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!
posted
You can't hide the proof from me. Don't cram that whole Domimo's deluxe into your mouth and think I won't notice. Don't talk with your mouth full. Now what did you say again?