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Author Topic: why did the chicken cross the road?
Kayla
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Katharina: That's it? Just two sides? This side of the road and that side? I'd be sympathetic for your sad, sad experience that you've never realized there were more than two sides of the road.

Every Chicken wants to both feel special and fit in. *thinks* I'd say they aren't - but then, I'd hope my opinion of them doesn't matter. Most chickens don't achieve actual greatness. If the chicken felt the need to cross the road, I certainly have nothing against it.

quote:
What people don't realize is that not a single Australian would consider trying to surmise it's motivation.
I suspect you don't really know what you are talking about and are trying to sound clever.

*muses* You know, my friend and I were driving down the road just the other day. We saw a chicken crossing the road. I turned to my friend and I said, "Why is that? Did the disillusionment of Clinton suck their will to live?"

You notice I didn't mention religion. That was, ahem, a choice.

NO INSULTS AT HATRACK.

(P.S. Kat, I edited that other post, so...)

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Ralphie
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Second page? Not on my shift!

::locks, loads, bumps::

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Ralphie
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Actually, Kate, I think the original that someone did went something like this:

katharina:

Chickens: Good
Roads: Good
Chickens crossing roads: Well, that's where it gets a little more complicated...

[Smile]

(Kayla's was great, too, though.)

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katharina
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Kayla! Oh jeez! *laugh*

Okay, that was good. I was even reading it, read this:
quote:
Every Chicken wants to both feel special and fit in. *thinks* I'd say they aren't - but then, I'd hope my opinion of them doesn't matter. Most chickens don't achieve actual greatness. If the chicken felt the need to cross the road, I certainly have nothing against it.
and thought, "Hey, I agree with that."

*squints* hmm... maybe I need to be more warm and fuzzy. [Eek!] Amused tolerance isn't the same as community building.

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Kayla
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Katharina, I really cheated. Those lines were mostly copied and pasted from your old posts. I changed people to chickens in the second paragraph and made up the whole *muses* paragraph except for the quote. Took forever to read through enough of your posts to do that. [Wink] I'm just not nearly as clever as Ralphie and didn't want you to think I was that original. [Big Grin]

You are warm and fuzzy a lot of the time. However, that doesn't make a funny satire. Don't worry about it. I read plenty of posts that were very nice on your part.

The important thing...did you read the edit? Should I change it back to it's original?

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katharina
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On the previous page? *grin* I think you're good. It certainly fits.
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Ayelar
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lol!!

After all my mother taught me, have I really become a bleeding heart? [Big Grin] My god! Is there still time to change my party affiliation??

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ladyday
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Well, the one I did for Kat was okay, but the rest were just horribly unfunny. Sorry I deleted my post. Ralphie got it right, though.
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porcelain girl
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Slash: I crossed a lot of roads in high school, whereas you are just arguing about them. So if you really have beef with the chicken i can give you the address of a parkinglot we can meet in to clear this whole matter up.
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porcelain girl
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bump because i find myself hilarious, and everyone else shall, too. [Razz]
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mackillian
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*snort*
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Ralphie
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Sara - Your Slash is PERFECT. [Smile]
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Magic (9) Ball
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Magic (9) Ball: *waits for blue triangle* it's crossing is uncertain...

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Kayla
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mackillian: Thinks the chicken should turn on AIM once in a while.
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mackillian
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It's a CONSPIRACY! YOU ALL HAVE ME BLOCKED!

[Mad]

[Wink]

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Belle
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mackillian: The chicken needed a good therapist, and there were none to be had on its side of the road. *pat pats* chicken
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mackillian
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*bite*

HAHAHAHA
[Big Grin]

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The RubbergIue Sun
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He will overcome the road.

Mighty, yet underestimated.

And gaze up into the eyes of his Master.

Cluck.

It begins.

<T>

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Frisco
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Patinator- I'm gald somebody appreciated that one.
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Ralphie
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Eddie - I thought it was so perfect that when I decided to do one for Patricia I wrote and erased about ten of them, knowing they couldn't to the perfection of your parody.

You should be gald that I appreciated it, too. [Razz]

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MrSquicky
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Sweet prancing Jebus, Ralphie, your shot of me was dead on. I'm almost upset at how good that was.
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Ralphie
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[Smile]
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Ralphie
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Storm Saxon:

http://www.rjlee.org/chicken.html
quote:
Walt Whitman: To cluck the song of itself
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (CENSORED) wanted to. That's the (CENSORED) reason.
John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.
Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.
T.S. Eliot: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

Apparently, this chicken has more on it's mind than a single motivation can account for.

Looking at it's responsibilities, and our responsibilities in deciphering it's primary goals, it seems as if no one motivation can be clearer than the other. Our responsibility becomes greater, but our goals sometimes become less apparent as the chicken's goals become less apparent. Even so, and despite it's many possible motivations, I believe the discovery aspect is still important.

I hope the chicken can find it's way.

I hope we can, too.

[ March 24, 2003, 06:14 AM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]

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Ralphie
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Stormy didn't like his? [Frown]
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Ophelia
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Maybe he didn't read it?
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Icarus
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Eddie Whiteshoes: the chicken crossed the road because it has lived in the white man's society so long it has forgotten its own goals and aspirations. What does a chicken need to cross a stupid road for, anyway? Are things really so different on the other side? From a chicken's standpoint it's probably all pretty much the same: oppression by the man on both sides of the road. If that stupid chicken doesn't figure out there's nothing for it on the other side, it's going to get hit by a car and die. When that happens, don't expect me to shed a bunch of tears for it. It knew what it was doing. It took the risks willingly, all to do something of no real value anyway. To cry for the chicken when there's tons of roadkill all over the damn highway is just hypocrisy. Do you cry for all the bugs on your windshield? I didn't think so.

Incidentally, that chicken is way more white than I am.

-o-

btw, where's Eddie been? Anybody seen him recently?

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Icarus
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Dobbie: How do you know that's really a chicken and not a rooster under an assumed name? [Wink]
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Icarus
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David Bowles: Ay, ¡ese maldito pollo! ¡Qué tontería! RAC [Big Grin]

Unmaker: Hello?! Can anybody say NINE-FREAKIN-ELEVEN?!?! The chicken had to cross the road, because the economy on its own side was stagnant! Who wants to buy eggs at a time like this?? It seems very telling that some of you conveniently forget this little fact—or choose to ignore it.

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Beren One Hand
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lol [Smile]
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Icarus
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dkw: Well, as a matter of fact, I looked into this quite a bit in seminary. Here are some relevant scriptural passages: GENODUS 23:15 - 17 ("15. And the LORD said unto the chicken 16. go ye forth 17. and cross every road.") III Kings 5: 23 ("And so it came to pass that in the Kingdom of Jesse II there were no roads, and there was much clucking, gnashing of beaks, and rending of down.") Leviteronomy 312:11 - 15 ("Do not allow your chickens to remain on one side of the road, for this is an abomination before the LORD. Chase them across the road, and roast those that do not cross until their juices run clear.") Isanah 42:11 - 13 ("I say unto you, 'Lo! You have allowed your fowl to roost together on one side of the road, and the LORD is mad! Repent, or ye shall truly fry!' Forsooth: he shall dash eggs against the heads of your babes!") Song of Saul 76:31 - 33 ("The LORD provideth me with yon juicy hen, and commandeth her to come hither from across the road. Her supple breasts and thighs maketh a filling meal indeed!") The Gospel of Harlan Sanders 14:25 - 29 ("For GOD so loved the world that he sent us chickens, and commanded them to cross roads to reach us.") The Gospel of Thomas 23:12 - 17 ("And Jesus came upon a rooster, and spoke to it of secret knowledge. Whereupon he took an egg from the chicken and, finding it to be rotten, cursed the chicken to cross roads until its death by oxcart.") and Paul's letter to the Thessalippians 5:3 - 16 ("Chickens, be meek before your roosters. Cross the road and offer ye up for man's meal, that your roosters may be left safe to crow each morning. For it is not meet that a chicken shall crow while a rooster is nugggetted. Indeed, if I have all the eggs in the world, but I have not chicken, what does it serve me?") Now, you need to interpret some of these with a grain of salt, so to speak. For one thing, Hebrew scripture seems to express at times contradictory attitudes toward chickens and road crossing. At the very least, our new covenant implies that ours is not an egg-cracking God. And it seems clear that Paul had some rather serious issues when it came to chickens. My interpretation is that chickens are expected to cross the road because that is what will bring them fulfillment, and our loving God knows that and wants what is best for all creatures, even the chickens.

[ March 27, 2003, 02:19 AM: Message edited by: Icarus ]

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fugu13
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*chuckle*
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Ophelia
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[Smile]
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Icarus
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BUMP so that the daytime crowd will know there are new parodies

[Smile]

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zgator
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Those were great Icarus.
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Lissande
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*adds another name to "shamelessly self-promoting" list*

[Big Grin]

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Leonide
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Beautiful, Icarus. Simply Beautiful.

[Big Grin]

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Leonide
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Ralphie: This isn't a subtle commentary on my personal feelings about the Chicken. I do not feel that we are personally responsible for the Chicken's mental state or how she chooses to act based upon it. If she wants to cross the road, fine, but she better be prepared for her actions having serious consequences.

LATER

Ralphie:Why is it that whenever I talk about the Chicken no one responds? Will I forever be doomed to speaking only about Ducks, and never have my voice heard in regards to the Chickens?

LATER STILL

Ralphie:Well, anyway, I'd just like the point out that the Rooster has been flirting quite shamelessly with me for some time.

Someone Else: Oh come on, you love the Rooster!

Ralphie: Please. How could anyone love the Rooster when they can go home to This sizzliciousness?

I love my Chicken. [Big Grin]

[ March 27, 2003, 12:11 PM: Message edited by: Leonide ]

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Icarus
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Awesome! [Big Grin] I'm glad I took the chance and clicked on that link! [Big Grin]
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Icarus
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You're the first to really capture the essence of Ralphie!

[Big Grin]

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Mother_Toretha
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ROFLLMHO! I love yall! holy cards for everyone in this thread!
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jehovoid
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Does anybody know how old this joke is or have any clue? It's at most as old as roads and chickens. Of course, it could just as easily be an adaptation of a joke as old as crocodiles and rivers. It would be neat to know, because there is a great philosophical depth to the joke (and jokes in general), as the variety of possible answers proves. And also the fact that it's one of the first jokes you typically learn as a kid is telling.

Of course, jokes don't really get funny until about third grade, when you start to make sex jokes.

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BookWyrm
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the Possum it COULD be done

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Ralphie
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Leonide - You rock my world, baby.

Icarus - Sweet Jiminy, those are funny.

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Leonide
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Frisco: Who cares why or how the chicken crossed the road...what I want to know is: What's the Chicken's Bucking the Question post count? Was she clucking pre-page 10? Did she start laying eggs on 33 BQ? When was your first BuckAW? (no, pecking doesn't count)

LATER

Someone Else: I am talking about something very serious. The chicken. The seriocity of the chicken is unparalled. The chicken might die. The chicken is very serious. Remember...i'm being very serious.

Frisco: What kind of breeder was the chicken? *posts a link to an inappropriate chicken porn site*

STILL LATER

Frisco: Vote, if you will, in the latest "Be Like The Chicken" poll!

Will contestant #1 take the crown?

Or will contestant #2 walk home with the prize?

Will #3 come back to life to receive the award, if he be it?

Sheldon, Parmy, and Waddle, folks! (I won't tell you which is which--I wouldn't want any bias).

[ March 27, 2003, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: Leonide ]

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Leonide
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*this is not a shameless bump*

*thank you*

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saxon75
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I love that you actually took the time to find pictures for that one.
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Icarus
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I love that "The Chicken" was a rooster! That just seems appropriate, somehow! [Big Grin]
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Leonide
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It took forever, but i think the results speak for themselves [Wink]

Yeah, Ic, I know...the link said "red_chicken" although I agree, it is a rooster. *shrug* craziness.

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Human
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Users101:

The chickin is really crazy...really, it's because the chicken's school sucks, really bad.

You know if the chicken was thinking about it, something terrible might happen in it's coop, really weird. And that chicken might just lay an egg, and keep laying eggs. And u know, the chicken is just a chicken, u know, just doing the chicken thing.

I'm not sure, but do u think this makes sense?

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Icarus
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[Big Grin]
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