Author
Topic: Uruk-Haiku
Mr.Funny
Member
Member # 4467
posted January 13, 2003 02:21 AM
Amon HenI fight that ranger He swings his great mighty sword My head goes flying
Helm's Deep
Hah! Ten thousand Orcs Beating weapons on ground. Thwup! An arrow kills me
Posts: 1466 | Registered: Jan 2003
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ae
Member
Member # 3291
posted January 13, 2003 05:15 AM
Believe it or not Don't much like LotR But this pads my posts.
Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2002
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ae
Member
Member # 3291
posted January 13, 2003 05:20 AM
Yes indeed it does! At last count, in fact, I had Twenty-eight to go.(To 1K, of course. Oh, and I apologise For the OT posts.)
(Not to mention that Multi-stanza haiku are Spawn of the devil.)
In penitence I Scribble down a piece of crap On LotR:
Haldir
Poncy elven twit Short attention span means you'll Likely die to orcs.
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BannaOj
Member
Member # 3206
posted January 13, 2003 11:17 AM
The Warg is A treacherous steed Dumps, devours Uruk-Hai
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Steel
Member
Member # 3342
posted January 13, 2003 06:29 PM
I know this isn't haiku, or mine, but I'll compensate for that."Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring! I am too small to carry this thing!"
"I can not, will not hold the One. You have a slim chance, but I have none. I will not take it on a boat, I will not take it across a moat. I cannot take it under Moria, that's one thing I can't do for ya. I would not bring it into Mordor, I would not make it to the border."
-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR.
And now my Uruk-Haiku:
We can't stop horses? Even when we have long pikes? They have strong magic.
The blinding light comes! Damn, I can't see their soldiers! Stupid Rohan Men.
I like to eat things! But they say we have no food... Let's eat the halflings!
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Mr.Funny
Member
Member # 4467
posted January 13, 2003 08:02 PM
Poetic Uruks Have great imagination See the great posting?Becoming knocked out Is just a stone's throw away We hate the halflings
Sarumon is wise He sends us off to our doom We thank him for that
How come no looting? We enjoy that part the best Sarumon is mean
Run across Rohan Carrying our heavy load Hobbits eat too much
Here come the riders Don't let our captives escape! Die, Eomer, Die!
Ouch we have been killed And the hobbits have escaped We have failed badly
Why must we fight on? Why can we not stay at home And make poetry
We are strong Orcs How come we still can be killed With just one arrow?
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Shigosei
Member
Member # 3831
posted January 14, 2003 01:26 AM
One of the nice things About coming back to life: It straightens your hair.
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ae
Member
Member # 3291
posted January 14, 2003 04:35 AM
Who is "Sarumon"? A spelling error merely? Or Japanese toy?
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sylvrdragon
Member
Member # 3332
posted January 14, 2003 11:00 AM
Gandalf should have done Some bigger, better, magic Like in The Hobbit
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jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014
posted January 14, 2003 01:18 PM
Chainmesh underwear. Rusty, uncomfortable. Bright side: no skid marks.
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Mr.Funny
Member
Member # 4467
posted January 14, 2003 08:01 PM
The thread is slipping Must bump it up to the top Ahh, that is betterI am Saruman I created the Uruks They do what I say
If I say to run They run around very fast It is fun to watch
If I tell them to Attack Rohan, they do it I give the orders
If I say, "Give me Cheese," they run off in search of Some Cheez-itz crackers
They follow my wish My Uruks are so faithful And they are cheap too
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ae
Member
Member # 3291
posted January 15, 2003 04:56 AM
Sorry to nit-pick But multi-stanza haiku Is not true haiku.
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Scott R
Member
Member # 567
posted January 15, 2003 07:01 AM
I wrote two verses, Not one. Unmarried, they are Though placed together.
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jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014
posted January 15, 2003 12:24 PM
Mordor orcs can't count. Uruk-Hai are true poets. White hand holds a pen.
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Mr.Funny
Member
Member # 4467
posted January 15, 2003 08:26 PM
Saruman makes Orcs Sending them to far corners They do his bidding
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Mr.Funny
Member
Member # 4467
posted January 18, 2003 02:21 PM
We are the sledding Uruk-Hai. Many mortals Wish they could keep up
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T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734
posted July 22, 2003 01:46 PM
This thread should be bumped. TUB!
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Mr.Funny
Member
Member # 4467
posted July 22, 2003 01:50 PM
I think I had a little too much fun in this thread...
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pooka
Member
Member # 5003
posted July 22, 2003 03:40 PM
Just a leg? Puh-lease? We never have any fun. Pull my finger, man...
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T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734
posted July 22, 2003 03:43 PM
TUB = Thumbs Up Bump...
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eslaine
Member
Member # 5433
posted July 22, 2003 03:50 PM
Makup runs in New Guinea heat --Peter Jackson! Curse you foul Hobbit! [ July 22, 2003, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: eslaine ]
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Scott R
Member
Member # 567
posted July 22, 2003 06:32 PM
Kicked by woody Ent, Drowned by raging, savage flood, By mud I birth, die.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Annie
Member
Member # 295
posted July 22, 2003 07:18 PM
I hadn't seen this thread the first time - it is the funniest thing I've ever read. No. Seriously. Ever .
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policyvote
Member
Member # 3044
posted July 22, 2003 07:32 PM
Patience three days hard marching six hours savage fighting man I have to pee Peace policy
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Gwynaria
Member
Member # 5365
posted July 22, 2003 09:09 PM
My orc diary: cracked seven mirrors today, I'm a Uruk hunk
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T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734
posted July 22, 2003 09:45 PM
::laughs at AR and Gwyn::
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Eaquae Legit
Member
Member # 3063
posted July 22, 2003 10:35 PM
Orcs and goblin men? A better mix I have seen. Breeding is not pretty. Lurtz is not nice guy. Anduin is looking good. Splash! Where did he go?
Posts: 2849 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Alucard...
Member
Member # 4924
posted July 22, 2003 10:38 PM
FOR SALE: Two Towers Immediate Vacancy As is. No refunds
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Alucard...
Member
Member # 4924
posted July 22, 2003 10:41 PM
Feasting on the spoils Halfling flesh still gives me gas. Could you pass the floss? [ July 22, 2003, 10:42 PM: Message edited by: Alucard... ]
Posts: 1870 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 04:18 PM
Sauron's Complaint Saruman, you fool! Can you not grow troops that win? Whose side are you on?
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 04:33 PM
Halflings near the gate. One of them has my prized Ring. E-mail server down.
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 04:36 PM
Axes go chop-chop. EPA nowhere in sight. Hey! That tree is mov....
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 05:09 PM
Literal my brain, "Barren of poetry", yet Haiku at will. Huh? [ August 27, 2003, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 05:10 PM
Back to the subject of Sauron... My eye burns bright red. Search for sneaky hobbits--pause. Wow! Clear-Eyes does work!
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Ryan Hart
Member
Member # 5513
posted August 27, 2003 06:47 PM
The Deep Helm's horn in the deep Sounded by dwarf hero Gandalf saves the day Narsil Narsil Forged Anew Weilded by king of Gondor Flee Evil for thy Life!
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 06:54 PM
Angmar the Witch-King Greatest of sorcerors he But blind as a bat. Under Angmar's nose Hiding hobbits snicker and then run far away.
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 06:59 PM
No, William H. Gates. I alone am the Dark Lord. The throne is not yours. [ August 27, 2003, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 07:16 PM
"In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil..." Sam, How does that chant go? [ August 27, 2003, 07:23 PM: Message edited by: Maccabeus ]
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Maccabeus
Member
Member # 3051
posted August 27, 2003 07:28 PM
NOOO! My palantir! The Remote Procedure Call? What service is that?
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Julie
Member
Member # 5580
posted August 30, 2003 05:37 PM
Silly hobbits, two Waving frantically at us I deserve a raise.
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Fishtail
Member
Member # 3900
posted August 30, 2003 05:48 PM
Under Isengard Smoldering birthplace of ours The sad truth: we stink
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