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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Hatrack Romance Writers (Page 0)

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Author Topic: Hatrack Romance Writers
eslaine
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Colorful. Been lurking in this thread for a while, but that's a topper. ::golf clap::

My wife reads the romances in our family, but I've been trying to get her to mix our love of SF with Romance (that she is very good at). There is a big market for that particular marraige right now.... ::$$$$::

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celia60
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i'm not sure if i should be embarrased by the large amount of praise for me on this page or if i should demand that hail smilie be used whenever i am addressed.

[Smile]

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Dragon
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[Smile] nice
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Ralphie
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Nice job, celia.

Of course, seeings how you are a naturally better romance excerpt hack if you start writing them steamy and/or skanky I'LL CUT YA.

[Smile]

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Dragon
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*bump*

Will someone write one for me?

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Dragon
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[Cry]
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Ralphie
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Oh, Dragon. [Frown]

I would write one for you, but I'm like the RoboADD writer - once I've done something enough times, I lose interest and then my brain simply won't let me continue.

However, it's been long enough since the last one that I could attempt to write one for you, though it will probably be the epitome of suck.

Name your man-meat, Dragon. [Smile]

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Dragon
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Ooh! thanks!

man-meat: strong, rugged, handsome... sort of like this guy but without all the elven baggage [Wink]

*happy dance*

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celia60
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her dream guy is primal curve and she will accept no substitutions.
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Dragon
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you could write one like that if you wanted celia...
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T_Smith
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Bump.

I figured with all the love/matchmaker/new couples and such, this thread deserved a good resurrection.

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Daedalus
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Then why not jumpstart it with our exchange from last night, Sweetcheeks?

quote:
T_Smith: man, I need to find something to care about.

Lalo: Why Sweetcheeks, I thought you'd never propose.

T_Smith: Alas Eddie, if but our love were true and not a charade, perhaps things would be different between. But, as is our fate, we are doomed forever to be entangled in this sea of jokes and continuing laughs, never having any...

T_Smith: time to admit to ourselves, and I fear, each other, that there is nothing for us to thrive on

T_Smith: In otherwords, sure thing, Pimp Daddy

Lalo: Hush, darling, speak with the passion in your breast, not the caution in your mind. Our love transcends such mortal trivialities as race and class and creed.

T_Smith: What about car insurances?

Lalo: Our love is meant to surpass the length of time, our hearts meant to pour more passion than the capacity of the great lonely seas -- our eyes, once met, can never again turn from each other and call others by any other title but stranger. Sweet Sweetcheeks, forever I will love you from afar, longing only for the slightest whisper of your name on the wind so my heart's solitude will be reminded of our glorious passion and enrich my sorrow for your absence.

T_Smith: You come from a world of Geico, whereas I am but stuck upon the mortal coil of All State

T_Smith: ::blinks::

T_Smith: ::sigh::

T_Smith: Stop, for my heart can bear no more strain, listening to what once never was. Speak ye the desires taht I can not face? Nay, I say unto thee, for I live in the moment, surpassed by desire for love that shall never be, yet presents itself

Lalo: Your sweet babble is but indicative of the passion that garbles your speech and softens your wits, young Sweetcheeks. Never fear, I shall never leave you, nor shall our passion ever slacken or wither -- such a love as ours was never meant for lesser endings, but only a climax with the strength of toppling Olympus itself, my love.

T_Smith: Speak ye softly, for my good mother strains to stare into your heart, and deny our love.

Lalo: Tell thy mother that our love is pure, indeed, purer than the most virtuous maiden's heart and youngest babe's mind. And yet, also dirtier than a toilet after I've eaten Chinese food. Burp.

It's, sigh, true love...
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Daedalus
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Good god. Reading back, was I one of those asses that insisted Toni write me a story?

No wonder she left...

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katharina
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Oh, Nathan, sweetie, I can't beleive you're not using those talents to woo and win someone at your school...
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T_Smith
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Alas, tis but my fate that all the fine young lasses in the sea of hormones that has become my life, have already been claimed, and their treasure chests have been emptied. Fear not, for there is booty on other islands, waiting to be claimed.
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Dragon
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[ROFL] There's a double entendre if I've ever heard one!

[ March 22, 2004, 07:14 PM: Message edited by: Dragon ]

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Belle
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You know, this is exactly what I need to break me out of my writing funk.

Who wants one? Give me a name, and a brief description and what type of setting and I'll crank out a good ole-fashioned bodice-ripper.

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Bob the Lawyer
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You know I swear this whole thread started off something Ralphie, Belle and I were writing in another thread. Sadly, the originals have probably passed on into the annals of Hatrack folklore.
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Belle
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I don't even remember the original thread.
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Bob the Lawyer
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It wasn't one of my finer posts, but darn it, it was close to my heart.
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Shan
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How about something "Taming of the Shrewish" like, Belle? Seeing as I'm cranky and grumpy and obnoxious.

Did I mention hopeless - oh yeah, and hopeless.

[Big Grin]

Hmm - must be a normal day!

At work, they just say I'm passionate about the subject matter.

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jebus202
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Not exactly a romance, but meh.

What's happened to me? Things didn't use to be like this, I used to have control.

That woman... that vile, intoxicating woman...

That's it, I won't go back. Tonight, I won't go meet her, nor tomorrow night, that's all it takes.

Maybe... maybe, if I just go tonight... and then I won't ever go again. Yes... yes, tonight will be the last time.

Oh... how did this all start? How did she cast this spell over me?


The fast beating of footsteps can be heard on the hard concrete sidewalk, scaring away the curious squirrels and the chirping birds. The cause of the disturbance soon skids around a corner and resumes sprinting. He's a young boy, with a smile on his face and a sparkle in his eye. He's got the new book he rented from the library in his hand and he can't wait to get home and read it. He's too engrossed in his own thoughts to notice the dog which runs out in front of him.

When he wakes up he's lying on his back, his whole body is in pain.

"Ooooh, my whole body is in pain." He groans.

"Oh my, you poor thing! Are you OK? I saw the whole thing from my window." A shrill high-pitched voice asked.

The boy looked around to find where the voice had originated from. He sat up to see a woman walking over to him.

He smiled. "Yea, I guess so."

"Oh, no, no. Look at you, you're all cut up, here come inside, I'll make you right as rain." Her smile stretched all the way across her face.

"No really, I'm fine, I've gotta go." He said, his thoughts drifting back to his new book.

"No, I insist" She had grabbed hold of his arm, and her nails were digging into his wrist.

"Ok... but just for a sec."

"Super!"

She led him inside the house, through into the kitchen and sat him down.

"You boys, always running around and getting hurt, honestly." She said in mock-exhasperation

She took a moist cloth and began dabbing at his wounds.

"What's your name?" She asked.

"It's Nathan, Nathan Novak."

"Well Nathan, it's nice to meet you, I'm Dawn. Now do you have any other injuries I can't see?"

"I think I grazed my side, but don't worry about it, I'll take care of it when I get home."

"Don't be silly, take off your top and I'll tend to that too."

Nathan reluctantly unbuttoned his cardigan and took it off, revealing a well-toned six pack.

"My, you have a very nice body, do you work out?" Dawn asked, smiling at Nathan.

"Uh, yea I try to go to the Gym everyday."

Dawn smiled and began rubbing the moist cloth along Nathan's abs.

"I could use a strong man like you around the house. Actually, could you come and help me up in my bedroom? I need someone to help me lift up my new wardrobe."

Nathan, thankful for an excuse to put his top back on, agreed readily. He followed her up the stairs into her bedroom.

The bedroom was not how he imagined it. The walls were painted black, whips and leather outfits were strewn across the floor and the bed had a pair of handcuffs attached to each corner post.

As soon as he entered, he knew he was doomed, he turned around to see Dawn smirking at him.

"Strip." She commanded. The wide, fixed smile had dissapeared.

Nathan gulped, and shakily began to undo his trousers.

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Dragon
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[ROFL]

That explains a lot!

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advice for robots
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Every young man's fantasy.
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Emby the Bored
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hahaha, this thread (especially the ralphie posts) is hilarious. i'm reminded of why i love hatrack. hehehe.
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rivka
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That's just SICK! [Mad]









What kind of crazy, sick library makes you RENT the books??? [Eek!]

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hansenj
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[ROFL] You crack me up, rivka!

I love it when this thread gets resurrected!

I've been resisting this for long enough, I think. Here we go...Anyone want to write one for me? [Blushing] How about the traditional tall dark and handsome dream man? Maybe he can even be a little Johnny Depp-esque? *swoons*

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kwsni
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The thread that began it: http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/cgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=013377

Ni!

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Frisco
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I was going to complain that my story by Ralphie didn't have a proper ending when I noticed that my story about her ended with a "to be continued..."

I think we were both trying to keep it PG-13.

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hansenj
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*bump*

Is there anyone out there who's got a story left in them for me?

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PSI Teleport
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OOOH! I need one for me! With a ninja!!!

OH! And I need this line to be in it:

"Hot lead, or cold steel?"

*quivers*

[ May 07, 2004, 01:14 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]

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advice for robots
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hansenj, I know I'm not the most popular romance writer here, but I'll take on the challenge if nobody else is going to step up. It might take a little while as I have some tight deadlines today.

I don't know. Do you want me to? Mine don't tend to be as deliciously satisfying as say, Belle's or Ralphie's. I'm kind of the B-list when it comes to Barbara Cartwright-grade fantasies. [Smile] But even if it's romance, and I never read romance, it's good exercise for the creative chops.

BTW, your first name is Jenny, right? And you want that Johnny Depp dude in there somewhere?

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hansenj
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[Smile] That would be fun, AFR. Yep, my name is Jennie (though it's spelled with an 'ie' not a 'y').
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Ralphie
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Just in case this thread was about to be toast...

*bump*

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celia60
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oh, curses. now it'll be another year before my crappy romances die.

and it's sort of odd that jebus decided to use Dawn as a pseudonym for Jamie, but, whatever.

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jeniwren
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Ralphie, that's hysterical...I was just thinking about this thread! It's my favorite of all time.
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Ralphie
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jeniwren - It was one of the most fun for me, absolutely.

celia - And I have, like, twenty people I promised excerpts to that I know I'll never get around to writing. But the skank must be preserved!

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Dragon
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oooh! This is one of my favorites too!
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kwsni
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I LOVED this thread.

Ni!

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hansenj
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*sniffle* I was the one who killed this thread! Sad. And I never got my story either. Sad again.
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skillery
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"Rafe...what an unusual name," Clarissa whispered as she nibbled on his earlobe.

"My momma, she named me that when she found me, washed up on a reef at low tide." "Momma, bein' on vacation from Utah, and having used up the good names on her first nine kids..."

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Trisha the Severe Hottie
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I think the correct verbiage is "The skank must flow."
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eslaine
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quote:
and it's sort of odd that jebus decided to use Dawn as a pseudonym for Jamie
Are you sure it was a psuedonym for Jaimie? I know that character from... somewhere.
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rivka
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I surely hope it wasn't a pseudonym for Jaime! [Wink]
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eslaine
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Obviously we both know someone who fit the bill pretty well, eh, rivka?
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Dragon
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I thought that was me hansenj! Maybe it was a combined effort
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rivka
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Actually, Erik, I was referring to the fact that Jaime is a guy's name. [Wink]
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jexx
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I couldn't let this fall off, I'm not done reading it yet. *grin* There's only so much shlock I can take in one sitting [Wink] .
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sarahdipity
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I thought of this thread when my friend sent me this link
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/index.htm

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Dragon
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ooh! I remember killing this thread!

[Frown]

Still one of my favorites.

( and that link is amazing )

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