So I graduated from high school all the way back in 2000 with really poor grades despite being considered one of the smartest students there. I had no direction, no goals and no real motivation to acquire any. How did I wind up like that? I don't know. A combination of severe depression coupled with the suspicion that the world was likely to come to an end momentarily is often what I cite as the major factors of my lack of motivation -- I've always been intellectually motivated, but practicality gets me down, really down sometimes.
I bounced around a few jobs and when I finally bottomed out -- there I was with no job, few friends, no desire to pursue any course of action. It was a sheer act of will to even bother to apply to college. And, I did kinda miss writing reports.
So I started this summer and finished my first few classes with a 3.75 GPA. Not too bad, and I know I can do much better than I have so far. I just finished my first week of classes for the fall semester. I have to admit, I find everything to be much easier than I expected from college courses -- of course, I am just attending a community college for my first two years.
When I was back in high school I always thought of college and the "real world" as magical places full of adventure and mystery. The "real world" seems much more mundane than magical and much more depressing than mysterious. College, so far, has been a wonderful experience though. I love doing research, I love writing papers, I love watching students and teachers interact and I love expressing my ideas and being taken, at least more often than not, seriously.
One of the things that I hated so much about high school was the "immaturity" of my fellow students. I should more narrowly define that as academic immaturity. I'm a very curious person by nature and I found something in all my classes to be fascinated with. In high school, very few other students shared my passion for learning or discussing serious topics. Most of them resorted to open or veiled rebellion against "the system" or made a point to make a joke about everything. Granted, sometimes they were very funny and I love a good sense of humor as much as anyone else. But I also was very interested in learning.
Well, college -- or, at least the community college I'm attending -- seems to be made up of students who, if not particularly bright, at least take their education seriously. And I, for one, find it to be a much more productive enviroment. Now, not all is perfect. Three out of my five professors are either half-psychotic or just stuck-up bastards. But that's OK with me -- they're at least interesting to watch.
I still struggle to keep myself motivated -- I'm learning how to trick myself. But, in general, I feel much better about myself and I feel that I'm at least accomplishing something. Maybe life loses its magic only if we allow it to...
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Even the lamest JR. College has one motivational advantage over high school. When you personally pay for your education you are more motivated to get your money's worth out of it.
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Actually, Dan, I went to a private high school and actually paid for my senior year myself because my parents couldn't afford it. Actually, there were times during my high school life that I felt like a more mature and compitent human being than I have ever since.
But in any case, thanks! Posts: 1295 | Registered: Jan 2003
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If you figure out how to make yourself motivated, please let me know. I think I'm in the situation you were in before.
Posts: 155 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:One of the things that I hated so much about high school was the "immaturity" of my fellow students.
I feel you, God. Oh how I feel you. (OK, I think that one's probably going on the Out of Context thread...)
As for me, though I subjectively think school is cool, the idea of going to college in two more days is giving me these: Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:If you figure out how to make yourself motivated, please let me know. I think I'm in the situation you were in before.
Well, first of all, I've found that it's very helpful just to keep moving. Go help some friends finish a project they're working on; volunteer your time at a charity of some sort; go to church (if you're a religious person); go see a movie; go to the park to study or just take a walk. I need to do things so I don't just sit around and watch TV or play video games or feel bad for myself. Also, I've found that I can't do work on my home computer -- I feel to relaxed and "comfortable" at home and just wind up chatting on AIM or surfing the net. I either go to a friend's house or school to write my papers and stories.
Another thing that helps me -- although I don't know how much it might help others -- is admiring art. If I start getting stuck -- say I'm working on a paper that's due in a couple of days and I just can't bring myself to write because I feel "lazy" or what-have-you -- I'll go rent a good movie (maybe a French film or a Kubrick or a Wenders) or go for a walk and just admire "nature." Then I'll go back and work some more. Usually my mind is stimulated enough by that point to overide my emotional low.
Posts: 1295 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Well, marriage might be a bit hasty of a step to take, but if you ever make it to Pennsylvania, I'd be happy to take you out to dinner. Posts: 1295 | Registered: Jan 2003
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