25 things you should have learned by the time you reach your age:
1. If you are too open-minded, your brain falls out. 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 21. There is always one more idiot than you counted on. 22. Experience is the ability to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 23. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. 24. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
I especially like number 14.
Posts: 2532 | Registered: Jul 2001
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and I always thought that if you had to choose between two evils that you should choose the lesser of the two.
Posts: 1458 | Registered: Feb 2001
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