posted
So, ladies... I'm confused about something. My girlfriend and I had plans to see each other today. However, yesterday, she cancelled them ...
quote:ok, hey...just wanted to let you know that i'm probably not coming out tomorrow night. i am taking a jessica day. this has not been done for a very, very long time...and it needs to be done to retain sanity. well, at least the semblence of sanity i have left. i am going to get organized...and maybe even sleep for awhile. take a bath...watch gilmore girls...talk to people that need to be talked to...spend time with the dog/cat/rabbits...clean my room...watch the charmed episode we have on tape...go for a run...eat junk food...maybe do my nails...(not necessarily in that order)
*sighs in anticipation*
i'll be out thursday, though, and i'll see you for at least part of the weekend...like i said in my message i'll be getting out there late, because i still have to work
as it is...i do miss you...i can't wait to see you thursday...i'll probably talk to you tomorrow...
*sends a hug*
jess
We also had this phone conversation last night...
quote:Primal Curve: so... Jessica: oh Primal Curve: I don't get to see you tomorrow? Jessica: nope Primal Curve: oh Jessica: ...oh? Primal Curve: that kind of sucks Primal Curve: but if you need it Primal Curve: that's fine Jessica: there isn't much for me to say... Primal Curve: well Primal Curve: so long as everything's okay Jessica: yep Jessica: peachy keen Jessica: if tired Primal Curve: I just wonder Jessica: about what? Primal Curve: about whether or not you still want to be with me or if this is a sign of bad things Jessica: oh Jessica: no way Jessica: i would talk to you about stuff Jessica: Primal Curve: okay Primal Curve: I'm glad to hear that Primal Curve: alright Primal Curve: I feels better
Then she playfully gives me some crap about giving her "permission."
So, what I'm asking is, is this normal? I've never really encountered this before, and I've dated quite extensively. Is my concern justified? Am I just being paranoid?
See, I really, really, really, really, really like this girl and that takes quite a bit these days. I would hate for things to be going poorly and I just need some reassurance.
posted
Well, it doesn't sound odd to me at all. Different people need different amounts of space, and taking a day to just recharge by oneself is not an uncommon thing for a person to need. Sounds like she's just self aware enough that she knows she needs it, and independent enough (and secure enough in the relationship) that she feels comfortable cancelling her plans with you to do it.
I could be wrong of course; you've got more of a context for these conversations than I do, and in the phone conversation had tone of voice to go off of.
In any case, don't crowd her; that can be a very bad thing to do. Take her at her word that there isn't a problem, give her some space, and let things play out as they will.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Sounds like she's having a rough time at work, and just needs a breather. Good for her for realizing it, rather than not canceling and likely being snappish and ill-tempered.
Could it be a pretext? Possible, but I think highly unlikely. She talks about missing you, sends you a hug, is looking forward to seeing you Thursday.
So yeah, I think you're being a teeny bit paranoid. You might want to ask yourself why her wanting to spend time alone causes you to react that way.
Oh, and I have to know. How does she do over the phone?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
While I can't comment on the particular situation, I do know that it is very important for girls to have girl time. It sort of catches you up on yourself and resets your personality.
How often have you been seeing each other? Does she still see her other girl friends? This can be hard to do in a relationship and sometimes its good just to have a day. Now, if this continues all week or throughout the weekend, maybe then I'd worry.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
This was a phone conversation... I thought the same as Rivka, how does she do over a phone. Is this a content silence or what?
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
WARNING: I know you were asking the ladies here for answers, and I am not one of them, and I don't have much experience with relationships, but here is what I think anyway
Normally I would suggest if you are worried to ask her directly, but you did that already and she told you directly that nothing is wrong, and if it was she would talk to you about it, not just start canceling stuff.
I could be wrong here, since I know very little about relationships, but I think if you have asked her plainly if there is aproblem, and she told you just as plainly that there isn't, then there probably isn't a problem. Also the playful thing about permission was probably just her way of trying to ease the tention, or to show you that she still likes you and is comfortable joking with you. I mean I understand the feeling that you like her, and don't want to loose her so you are very worried by anything that might possibly be a bad sign (been there too, and would react the same way if it were me), but she told you nothing is wrong, it sounds like she was shocked that you could think things were wrong, so she is probably very happy to be with you.
So it sounds like the girl you like also likes you, and wants to be with you, and wants you to know that. In other words you should be very happy.
Posts: 2332 | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Wow, I wrote my original post and completely missed that error. It wasn't a phone conversation, but an AIM conversation. However, if you listen closely, you can hear someone smile.
I guess I don't understand because I swing really far into the world of the extroverted. I recharge by being around people- not by being by myself.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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quote:I guess I don't understand because I swing really far into the world of the extroverted. I recharge by being around people- not by being by myself.
Don't worry about it. There are some of us that just need alone time to rest, recuperate, and recharge.
Posts: 2454 | Registered: Jan 2003
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i am going to get organized...and maybe even sleep for awhile. take a bath...watch gilmore girls...talk to people that need to be talked to...spend time with the dog/cat/rabbits...clean my room...watch the charmed episode we have on tape...go for a run...eat junk food...maybe do my nails...(not necessarily in that order)![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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