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My grandfather is not expected to live through the night. On my own, I think I could handle that, he forgot who I was a year ago, and I've had plenty of time to mourn. But his sister died Sunday, and the other siblings still living, there will be 4 of them now, out of 11, how can they handle that?
I'm so scared for them, for my Taunte El and my Tante Anna, the two oldest. Maybe this will push them over the edge.
It seems so silly, to be so upset about my great aunts when my grandfather's about to die. But he's been gone a long time, while their still there. They can still live. They went to Denmark last fall, we're Danish, these two little old ladies in their 80s.
I guess most of this won't make much sense or get across what I'm feeling, I odn't know how else to put it, I think more in images than in words, it's hard to say what I'm feeling.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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My grandfather is going in for a biopsy on Thursday - there is a lump in his lungs which may be scar tissue from pneumonia but it may be lung cancer. His wife died 10 years ago from lung cancer. They were both heavy smokers.
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((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))) I'm so sorry. That must be so frightening. (((((blacwolve and family))))) (((((tt&t))))) (((((breyer))))) (((((Derrell))))) (((((Eruve))))) ((((((((((imogen)))))))))) Oh no! Hope everything's ok. (((((Raia))))) (((((kyrie))))) (((((Corwin))))) (((((Anna))))) (((((Mayday))))) (((((Marek))))) (((((Val))))) (((((Zotto!)))))
(((((just for you)))))
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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(((((blacwolve))))) (((((imogen))))) I hope he's ok. And I hope you're ok. (((((rivka))))) (((((Zotto!))))) Oceans are ba-ad. And You Smell! (((((Zotto!))))) (((((Derrell))))) Thanks for the mail! (((((Eruve))))) I'm sure you'll do fine. (((((Raia the hottie))))) Yay for AIM! Great to catch up! I would LOVE to come to your choir thingy. *sigh* *laugh* Maybe next time, neh? (((((breyer))))) (((((Marek))))) (((((Icky))))) (((((Jim-Me)))))
(((((everyone who wants)))))
Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
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(((rivka))) (((tt&t))) (((imogen))) (((Derrell))) (((Eruve))) - from what publisher was your practice SAT? I used to make a living preparing students to take it, and if you have time before you take it, I might be able to help you. Do you have AIM? The first thing I would tell you is don't let a sample test from a publisher other than ETS freak you out; they often give a very inaccurate portrayal of the actual test, in terms of difficulty.
((((blacwolve)))) I'm so sorry.
((((imogen)))) I reckon you could use another one.
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(((((Megachirops))))) The test was from collegeboard.com, and it rated the difficulty of the problems, too. It wasn't too bad, but it wasn't good either. Part of it was because I haven't done math in a while, and part of it was just me. I'm probably going to order some tests by mail, the more practice I get the better. What is ETS? (and no, I don't have AIM )
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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(((((Derrell))))) (((((tt&t))))) I heard a song on the radio today, and thought of you and your sister. (((((Eruve))))) ETS is the Educational Testing Service, the folks who write the SATs. So taking an actual SAT, rather than one written by one of the test-training companies, is better. As Icky mentioned, theirs are often significantly more difficult than the genuine article. But the College Board is the actual test-givers for the SATs, so I guess the test you took was a real SAT. ((((((((((Ic)))))))))) ((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))) (((((breyer))))) ((((((((((imogen)))))))))) (((((Raia))))) (((((kyrie))))) (((((Corwin))))) (((((Anna))))) (((((Mayday))))) (((((Marek))))) (((((Val))))) (((((Zotto!)))))
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((blacwolve))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Sweetie, I am so so so sorry... I really am. I fully understand what it's like to be in the position of not knowing whether or not I'm losing a grandfather! Call me, whenever you need to... I don't know if I'll be at school tomorrow, I have to go to the doctor again (ugh), this stupid illness isn't going away.
(((((Eru))))) Wait... no... what?! SC?!?!?! I thought you lived in NORTH Carolina!!! ARGH! Um... would you have been allowed to come visit me?
(((((tt&t the gorgeous))))) And it was LOVELY talking to you! As it was talking to (((((Zotto!))))) (Ha, riv, I was talking to him on AIM! I feel special) Sometime we must definitely catch up, you guys! Look me up in Israel next year!
(((((((((((((((everyone who's hugged me))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((the rest of you))))))))))))))))) Again, I know, I'm not naming you individually, and I'm sorry, except (((((rivka))))) because... well, you can't NOT hug rivka... but I must sleep. I just fell asleep on the couch downstairs, watching TV. Oy, it feels like a twenty minute project every time I try to swallow. Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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(((((Raia))))) Heh, probly not. It would've been cool, though. Blacwolve and I were in the same building a few weeks ago, and still couldn't meet up.
(((((Rivka))))) Aw, drat. Well, at least I know what to expect. *sigh*
(((((TT&T and Family))))) I hope everything is going well.
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I feel like everything's out of my control. Which, unfortunately, is actually pretty close to reality.
I'm doing better in school than I have in years but I'm so tired and stressed all the time that I'm starting to wonder if the IB diploma is worth it. I finally got my license, over a year after I was eligible, and I STILL can't drive because my father won't pay for my insurance (does he realize that I can't make enough money to pay for it unless I start working and that I can't do THAT until I can DRIVE?). I also can't afford a decent gift for my fiance's 21st birthday since I didn't want to tap into my mother's weekly allowance from my father and, hence, used up all of my own savings to pay for lunches and the very rare night out. And, today, I just found out that my plans for making him a gift have, at best, been delaying - two weeks away from his b-day and two months after I started planning! I probably won't see my fiance until summer and maybe not even then and lately we've been lucky to talk more than 2 minutes in any two day period.
...Whew. Sorry. Vent.
Hugs to everyone else. Posts: 1548 | Registered: Aug 2002
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(((((((((((((((((Blacwolve)))))))))))))))))))) I know what you're going through, been there twice in the past year. Feel free to call or stop me at school any time. I think your brother has my cell phone # but I can send it to you if you like.
Well, he hasn't died yet, everytime I go in the house I expect to be told he has. The thing is, I've got so much stress already from so many different angles I'm just hoping he puts it off until I have time to deal with it. Is that aweful of me?
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))) No, it is not awful of you -- simply human. In the case of both my dad's father and then later his mother, there were LONG periods where we would be told intermittently that they might be gone any moment. Then they would pull through, and things would be more stable -- until the next crisis. And in both cases, they were pretty far into dementia (one Alzheimer's, one not) by that point, so they were not entirely there even when they weren't at death's door. It makes a lot of sense that you're worried about being able to cope. But it'll be hard whenever it is -- and you'll somehow manage to cope, because you are strong enough to do so. (((((blacwolve)))))
(((((breyer))))) (((((Eruve))))) If you need any help studying, Ic already volunteered -- and so do I. I've helped people study online for the SATs before. (Admittedly, I had a cool lightpen and microphone that I don't have at home, but I'm sure I could manage.) Email me, or maybe we can set up a parachat session. Or you could get AIM . . .
((((((((((Pixie)))))))))) Wow, that's a lot to deal with. Try to focus on the fact that it WILL get better soon. (It has to, right?) And breathe deeply -- it'll help you not kill your dad.
((((((((((Raia)))))))))) FEEL BETTER! (((((tt&t))))) Yeah, I never heard that song before today, but I really liked it. (((((Derrell))))) (((((Mayday))))) (((((Marek))))) (((((Val))))) ((((((((((Ic)))))))))) ((((((((((imogen)))))))))) (((((kyrie))))) (((((Corwin))))) (((((Anna))))) (((((Zotto!)))))
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((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))) As you might remeber, I lost my grandfather about this time last year after a long bout with cancer. You were there for me the whole time, you even gave my mother your cell phone number so she could call incase something happened durring the show we were working on... I dont think I ever told you how much all of that ment to me and my family. If you need any thing at all, please ask. I hope your aunts get through this all right, i wish you and your family the best. And im so sorry for every thing that you all are going through. (sorry im not being that elequent, but its heart felt). Posts: 264 | Registered: Apr 2004
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(((Pix))Ventage is awesome. *grin* (((Raia))) Twas indeedly quite fun talking with you. We'll do it again, I'm sure. (OOC?) (((TT&T))) Oceans suck. (((blacwolve))) (((Marek))) Dude. (((other hug-thread-ers, and most especially you!)))
D'oh. That 5 (edit: and now it's a 6) in my post count certainly looks like a nine late at night.
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(((rivka))) (((Raia))) I hope you feel better soon. (((blacwolve))) Losing a grandparent sucks. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain.
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(((((Derrell))))) (((((Eruve))))) (((((Icky))))) (((((rivka))))) (((((Raia the Hottie))))) I hope you feel better soon, dearie. (((((Pixie))))) Aww. Yay for venting, though! I should do that, sometime. Heh. (((((breyer))))) (((((blacwolve))))) (((((imogen))))) (((((kyrie)))))
(((((Zotto!))))) *sigh*
(((((everyone who wants)))))
Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I don't normally come here, because cyber hugs never really do that much for me. I don't feel them, but I definitely appreciate the sentiment behind them.
Anyway, I just found out that the girl I had been dating for three years no longer wants to call the "break" we have been on a break. We are broken up. I could have married her. No, would have. Better now than a divorce later though.
I also just found out I'm flunking a math course in college. Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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(((((Nick))))) Oh sweety, I'm so sorry. I know it's hard right now, but things will get better. And you are right, it IS better that you found out now. At least now you can move on. Is there anything you can do about your math class?(((((Nick)))))
Love sucks. ::appropriate ironic yet melancholy emoticon::
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(((((Nick))))) Awww, that's rough... my sympathies, amigo! I'm sorry. Let me know if there's something I can do to help, k? (((((Eru))))) Well, drat. (((((tt&t the gorgeous))))) (((((Zotto!))))) *points up* Isn't she gorgeous? (((((rivkonet))))) You are such a dear, THANK YOU! (((((Derrell))))) Thanks. (((((((((((blacwolve))))))))))))) There really isn't much I can say... just ((((((((blacwolve)))))))))) (((((Kyrie))))) Oh, Cora told me about the thingy on saturday... she asked if you'd delivered her invitation to me, but I haven't been in school, so I told her it's not your fault! So, thanks. (((((breyerchic))))) (((((imogen))))) (((((Xav and Val)))))
Crap, I KNOW I'm forgetting someone... Oy...
Btw, everyone... even though I'm sick, I'm in a far better mood than I was this time yesterday! I talked on the phone with a good friend of mine who lives REALLY far away, and whom I miss so much it's not even funny. It was his birthday on friday, he's 18, and I called to wish him a (albeit late) birthday wish... and he was so happy to hear my voice! I haven't seen him since last May, and so it was really great talking to him again. The fact that I also happen to be completely in love with him doesn't help, does it? Hehe, I am so giddy...
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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((((((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))))) Im sorry about every thing, you grandfather, the show, Crad, calculus ((((((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))))) ((((raia)))) ((((corwin)))) ((((derrell)))) ((((((((shari)))))))) heres an extra just incase ((((((shari)))))) ((((pixie)))) ((((nick)))) ((((val)))) (((((rivka))))) ((((marek)))) ((((stryker)))) im not sure we should let you near any small round objects... ((((tt&t)))) ((((imogen))))
this is silly i should be asleep...
Posts: 264 | Registered: Apr 2004
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(((Blacwolve))) I'm sorry about your Grandfather. (((tt&t))) (((imogen))) (((rivka))) (((raia))) (((derrell))) (((Eruve))) (((Megachirops))) (((Pixie))) (((kyrie))) (((Zotto))) (((Nick))) (((breyer))) (((Zevlag)))
I could use one just now. We are one week from the wedding. Yesterday night Vincent and I called our SIL for her birthday. Then, in the conversation, we ask her and BIL where they want to meet us in the morning of the civil wedding (the religious wedding is the day after). And they answer : well, at your home. We need to dress. BTW, at what time do we have to be there ? They didn't even ask. If WE hadn't ask, they wouldn't have told us and would have come like that. We were yet 5 in a pad with one bathroom and which is done for 2 persons. AND I WOULD HAVE LIKE TO HAVE A LITTLE TIME IN THE BATHROOM BEFORE I'M GETTING MARRIED ! Am I the only one to find it incredibly rude ??? I would have said yes if they had asked. It would have been nice from me, since the circumstances. But they didn't even bother to ask. I'm sorry to vent, but I promised Vincent not to talk about it to my family to make sure things are going to be fine on the wedding day. But still !!!
[ April 30, 2004, 04:34 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!! School's over ! Thought it would never happen this year...
((((((((((((Anna))))))))))))) CALM DOWN ! Don't let things like this darken your wedding ! I agree with you, it's rude for them not to ask, but take it as it is and don't worry about it anymore. Be happy ! You're getting married ! Anna
Hope you have a great party... errr... wedding
((((everybody who needs/wants/doesn't need - preemptive hugging)))) I'll be back soon to hug each of you. Just need to enjoy FREEDOM for a couple of hours ! YEY ME !
P.S. Dang, only 8 smileys... :smiling from ear to ear:
Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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((Anna)) I'm sorry you are under so much stress! I hope you will be able to seperate yourself from the stress and be able to enjoy what should be a beautiful and fun time for the both of you!!
((Pixie)) I'm sorry you are under so much pressure at school. I hope it will ease up soon. Don't worry too much about Paul's present - I'm sure he will love it whenever he gets it!
((blacwolve)) I hope you and your family will have the comfort it needs right now.
((imogen)) I hope the biopsy procedure went well and resulted in good news.
((Icarus))
((Nick)) I hope your heart will heal quickly.
((Raia)) Get feeling better soon!
((Derrell)) Thanks for helping be a catalyst for me to take charge of my life and seek counselling.
I could use some serious hugs. The last couple weeks have been hellish for me - the worst times I've had in probably more than 5 years. I've been in some extreme emotional turmoil over the people that I love the most and it's been a very painful thing for me. I am very grateful to Hatrack because there are some people here who have really been able to give me good advice for dealing with what is happening to me and to those that I love and they give me strength to do things that I know I should do (but somehow haven't been able to make myself do).
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(((((Derrell))))) (((((blacwolve))))) ((((((((((ludosti)))))))))) I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Yeah for Hatrackers with good advice and support, though. (((((Corwin))))) WOOHOO! Enjoy! And congrats on getting through. ((((((((((Anna)))))))))) I'm sorry they're making this so difficult, Anna. It's pretty clear (from this and the previous incident) that they have some invasion-of-private space issues. But don't let them upset you! Just smile and ignore them. It's going to be YOUR day! Have a great one! (((((tt&t))))) (((((Zev))))) (((((Nick))))) (((((kyrie)))))
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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