posted
As your duly elected President of the Titularly United Spirits of Hatrack, first let me say I am proud to address my fellow Hatrackians, Jatraqueras and Jatraqueros, on this solemn occasion.
As you know, for a long time now, we have been working diligently to contain the threat that Ornery presents to Hatrack and the rest of the world. And we have been successful, at least by surface appearance.
However, new intelligence from our CentralHackingAgency indicates that, despite our best efforts, Ornery.com continues to engage in efforts to obtain Words of Mean-spirited Defamation. That despite the soothing words of their dictator Moderator Yousay and the UD words inspectors, Ornery has succeeded in stockpiling WoMDs, as well as those datapackets to deliver them banned under UnitedDotcom Resolution1196.
More unpleasantly, we now have conclusive proof that Ornery.com has been engaged in discussions with XXX.com to obtain the naughty letter with which to build effbombs. With knowlege that their illegally possessed data packets can strike our server within 45 milliseconds, I cannot in good concience allow Moderator Yousay the time to succeed in his quest.
And so it is with heavy heart that I must announce that I have signed the order to deploy the fine digits and knuckles of our TUS Fingered Services and Reserves to the servers nearest Ornery.com for a preventative strike against Ornery.
I say to you, Moderator Yousay, the choice is now yours. Leave Ornery immediately and allow free and unmoderated inspections, and I will recall our digits. The fate of Ornery is in your hands.
posted
:Lifts welding mask, examines the latest modifications to the Implaccable Engine of Ultimate Destruction (tm); notices the bruhaha over forum president:
You're all a bunch of puppets.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'd like to thank those who have nominated me. Unfortunately, I just had a head installed -- it's next to my shower stall -- so I'm probably disqualified.
I hereby throw all my votes to LavaLamp.
This place needs the mellow ooze.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
It just occurred to me that if a member of the Not-so-secret liberal cabal wins the presidency, they'll probably nominate my birth father as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
There is definitely going to be a cabinet. WIth jobs such as secretary of cool, awesome, annoying, and nerdness. With your help this will be the best presidency of hatrack ever....sorta
Posts: 68 | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
