posted
Am I wrong in thinking socializing is overrated? I don't mean learning to treat people with respect or be polite or all the things essential to live in the world without being a jerk. I mean, forcing every single kid to be social and extraverted. Forcing every last child to sit and play in a group when they'd rather read or just draw alone. I was always a loner when I was a kid. I'd walk around the yard making up stories. I just didn't do groups, packs, posses. I hate most groups. Sitting in a group of people is extremely uncomfortable unless I know them well. Worse is riding in a car with someone. I am not good at small talk so I won't say much. Then I'll worry. What if they think I'm being rude? What if they think I'm being a snob? It's more of an inate inability to be that social. If I'm sitting with more than ne person I'm the one sitting there watching people talk and listening to them. I feel rude when I jump in... There's a rhythm to it and I just don't... get it... Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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For some, like my little brother, it comes easily. He's the charismatic, sincere charmer people flock to. For others, like me, it had to be ground in.
My dad says that even when I was in pre-school, if there was one other baby, I'd play. If there were two others, I'd leave them alone and play by myself in a corner. Not only by myself, but perfectly happy by myself. I live alone right now, and I was afraid to at first, but I've discovered to my somewhat consternation that I completely love it.
But...socialization is essential. It's necessary. I have to. And I have to because I know what kind of depths of depression I fall into if I don't have people. I don't know if that's a weakness or not, and part of me rebels violently at the thought of needing people, but in the choice of ... being only part of myself around some people, instead of all or my favorite part, or else wanting to throw myself off the swinging bridge, I'll take the first.
There's a line from, heaven help me, Nick Hornby, that I love, and it describes exactly this phenomonon. Marcus is a kid who really hates the...labor of socialization, his mom is a hippie who insists on not being like anyone else, and Will is the adult they both run into.
quote:All three of them had to lose things in order to gain other things. Will had lost his shell and his cool and his distance, and he felt scared and vulnerable, but he got to be with Rachel; Fiona had lost a big chunk of Marcus, and she got to stay away from the casualty ward; and Marcus had lost himself, and got to walk home from school with his shoes on.
I don't know if that helps. I don't even know if it's a choice you want. Heck, I don't even know if it's a choice I want.
But there's a lot to be said for not being miserable...
Human beings need each other. It's just not fair that it's harder for some. It's like there's a desire without a way to fulfill it, and that's dreadful. But I really think we live in each other. We need each other. I'm glad you're here, Syn.
posted
I personally like it when people are rude, because it saves me the bother of liking them.
However, I don't want to raise my son thinking it's okay to just beat the shite out of everyone who pisses him off, however personally appealing I find the prospect.
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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*opens pantry, looking for that extra can of whupass*
I do think I'd be happier if I had to deal with people less. Including my family. ('nother reason I'm not a Mormon-- one lifetime with anyone is enough for me, especially when you consider that I spend most of it trying to find reasons to be alone).
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
I tend to be happiest with about 1 or 2 people i can really feel close to. I hate artificial relationships, false politeness kills me. It's so difficult... just cracking through another person's shell is painful.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I hate that false politeness. I'm thinking false laughter is the scourge of the earth. For some stupid reason, human beings do it. All the time. People are so often uncomfortable in groups. That nervous laughter covers awkwardness of all kinds.
I know you didn't mention this specifically, but I noticed it yesterday. I know these people are not posers individually; what's with the collective fake laughs? --
Syn, what do you want? Do you want to feel more comfortable around people, or do you want to find a way to function in your quiet way? Are you looking for a way to break through from the aquaintance-that-doesn't-avoid-me to the Friend stage?
quote:Am I wrong in thinking socializing is overrated?
In a classic case of putting my glasses on you, are you happy? There is a strong, strong correlation between a person's number and strength of personal relationships and their likeliness of being happy.
posted
I've run into 4 separate occasions this week of people telling me how much they hate to work on group projects. And I agree - I despise group dynamics. I don't approve of anyone being forced to be sociable when they're not naturally extroverted.
However, I do believe in forcing myself to be. (It's handy, how you can inflict all kinds of invasions of liberty on yourself and it usually ends up helping you) I find that getting to know someone I wouldn't normally get to know almost always ends up being better for both of us.
But I still get plenty of alone time. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
I'm pretty content... I have music to make me blindly happy. It would be nice, however to have local friends to hang out with as I live alone. It was much easier in college. There were always clubs, reaccuring people, the casual aquaintances and the people I am tightly bond to who understand me... And still hang around me.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I actually used to be incredibly introverted and now find myself tipping a bit towards the other end of the scale. I mean, folks who met me at wenchcon might have have still found me somewhat reserved, but compared to how I in 2002, the difference is very stark. Olivia and Ron noticed right away.
And I think I'm much, much happier this way. I still need my alone time, but I find that I get depressive and lethargic if I don't go outside and play with my friends. Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
And at work, i abhorr group work with a passion-but I love working in close groups, with people always around-so long as I do my work on my own. In school, i used to like people and socialize well-but I stopped in elementary school and now i'm having to relearn the skills, and doing very badly at it. I suck at making overtures, I cannot strike up conversation to save my life, and I've just been told that I argue with every generality anyone makes, and it interrupts the flow of conversation. I WANT to be a part of groups, but I can't seem to manage it.
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Through much labour and effort, I have taught myself to step out of my shell enough to talk to people. But I don't do small talk very well. If you ask me a question, such as "how was work?" or "how's it going?" be prepared for an honest answer. And maybe a story or two if it's a topic that catches my interest. But not much in the way of polite chit-chat.
But I hate being in groups. I don't mind small groups, if I know the large majority of them fairly well. But if it's people I don't really know well (or at all), I will mostly be the passive observer, or go find something else to do. I hate parties, I hate clubs. I like small movie nights where we watch geeky Classics films and criticize the depiction of Roman society. I'm a geek, and that doesn't come across well in a large group.
I hate group work, and get things done better (even just on my part, never mind those second and third year students who have issues with subject-verb agreement ) and faster on my own.
posted
I wish I could be comfortable being alone, but I just can't stand it. I want to be around interesting people. A lot of that desire stems from the fact that whenever I look around and try to find people who are basically alone and happy, I can't. Everyone I see who is alone is either miserable or insane. Social interaction, however painful and difficult it is, has become more necessary than ever.
I find myself waffling from one extreme to the other. One year I'll be totally extroverted and able to claim at least a semblance of normalcy and then the next year, I'll have retreated into my shell once again, unable to connect in even the slightest way.
Posts: 218 | Registered: Nov 2001
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posted
I get plenty of alone time, so I can sure see how people who don't might crave it. But for people who are alone more than they want to be, I want to state unequivocally that being good at groups is a skill that can be learned. I am by nature extremely shy. I'm even afraid of adult humans, I think. Almost all of them. But I practiced a lot during high school and college, and got much much better at it. My mother wouldn't take "I'm too shy" for an excuse. She would teach me tricks and tips.
If you are unhappy with the way social things happen for you now, you CAN write yourself a different script. First learn how it's done. Then imagine situations in which you successfully use these techniques. Finally practice. Force yourself to try. Repeat. It's as simple as that.
Here are my 12 tips for making friends, repeated from a fairly obscure thread a while back. Apologies to any who have already seen it. It seems like it might be useful to post it again.
ak’s twelve tips for making friends
1. Don’t let the fact that you are alone stop you from doing anything you would like to do. Go to restaurants, movies, concerts, art museums, whatever you find interesting and fun. This may take courage at first, but gather your courage to do it a few times, and you will soon find it easy and natural.
2. Enjoy yourself. Whether you are alone or with others, be interested in your surroundings and open to new impressions and experiences.
3. Be interested in people. Lose your fear of strangers and learn to see everyone as a potential friend. Notice things about them. Imagine what it is like to be them right now, what they might be thinking and feeling.
4. Try to look nice when you are out in the world. It’s not that you must be beautiful to make friends, but groom yourself enough not to look scary. <laughs> The Charles Manson look isn’t conducive to meeting people.
5. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t think only people of a certain age, whose clothes are a particular style and whose hair looks right, are potential friends. Look at kids, old people, people of all ethnicities and cultures and in every profession and walk of life, as potential friends. After all, even if you are more interested in people your age, kids have elder siblings and babysitters, old people have dear nephews and grandchildren, etc. All people are connected. And all people are interesting and worthy in their own right, too. If you are a shy person, could it be that it’s really you who are snubbing everyone else’s overtures?
When people are in high school, they usually separate into groups like nerds, freaks, preps, stoners, band geeks, partiers, etc., and don’t often make friends from other groups. In college, most people abandon those categories and realize that there are interesting cool wonderful people under all classifications. The people who are the least like you are the ones from whom you have the most to learn. Be a xenophile. There are whole worlds of interest out there of which you may be unaware.
6. If you are shy, then make friends with someone who makes friends easily, and you will likely find other friends among their friends and acquaintances.
7. Be helpful. If you see someone struggling with something, be willing to offer your help. Don’t be pushy, of course, but be willing offhand to assist people if they seem to need it. “You look lost, can I help you find something?” “Let me help you pick those up,” (if someone drops something.) Hold the door for someone who has their arms full. (Here in the south we hold the door for everyone who comes behind us, but I know that’s not the custom in other parts of the country.)
8. Smile. (In an offhand way.) If you take too much sudden interest in a stranger, you will put them off, but if you seem friendly, but not particularly eager, you will put them at their ease. The smile you want is one in which you smile with your mouth, but not so much your eyes. The eyes should show benign regard only.
9. Ask questions or comment offhand about things of immediate mutual interest. If you are waiting for your plane you might ask someone if they’ve heard if it will be late. If you are at a concert ask who is the opening band. If you are in line you can ask how long the person in front of you has been there, how fast the line is moving. If you can make a funny remark about something happening in the vicinity, that’s even better. You can’t launch instantly into talking about things that matter. You have to talk about inconsequentia first. Anything that’s minor, and of immediate passing interest will do. There’s a reason why the weather is such a perennial topic of conversation.
10. Be friendly to all who serve you. Appreciate the people who wait on you at restaurants, check you out at stores, and so on. Particularly when you are traveling, they can be very kind and helpful.
11. It’s not about you. Don’t ever be offended, or hurt, or put upon in any way, if a person ever snubs your friendliness. They are a stranger. They don’t know you. Whatever their reaction, it most likely has a lot more to do with how they are feeling today, and what they have going on in their life, than it does anything at all about you. Be blasé about rejection. After all, with strangers, you have no expectation that they are good people, or kind, or polite. They could be afraid of strangers, or too busy, or in a bad mood. They could be anything at all. Accept that and don’t be worried or put off by it, but respond according to how they act. I’ve found that almost everyone is decent, kind and good.
12. Don’t get discouraged. It takes a lot of tries to get one hit. Don’t expect instant complete success. Cultivate friendliness as an attitude, an overall approach to people, and you will begin to make more and more friends. It’s a snowball thing. Give it time and be persistent. With practice and consistent effort, you will eventually get results.
I just want to add that I'm a painfully shy person by nature. Because of my job, traveling a lot, and other things that have happened in my life, I just happened to learn this skill. Anyone can learn it. Like anything, you try and then screw up sometimes, and then you try some more, and get better at it. The most important thing, rule zero, I guess it should be, is just to have courage to try.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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posted
I love ak's list, and I think the "learned skill" of comfortable interaction is an important one to develop. Think of it as just another tool in your Belt of Life: having this ability just makes it easier to make choices.
Being alone or being in a group isn't an end in itself. However, they each can be a means to many important ends. Perhaps you need to be away from distractions in order to think through something, or maybe you have a wound too raw for common interaction to brush against, or maybe you need to focus on your own body and what it's telling you -- in these cases, it does you well to have the skill of being comfortable alone.
But perhaps your lethargic mood is underscoring a depression, or maybe you have a project that needs people and laughter to get done (such as Habitat for Humanity), or maybe your love for your family edges out your frustration at attending a holiday gathering -- in these times, have the skill of being comfortable with others makes it easier on you to do the greater thing you want to do.
Perhaps it would be more truthful to think of socialization as a can rather than a should. Being good at negotiating groups does not mean you must spend all your time in them; rather, that you can do it when you want to.
posted
I remember a lot of discussion amongst my friends while growing up about "being normal" and how bogus it was. (Yes, this was back in the Eighties. ) We all agreed that falling in line like the mindless minions was very gauche; flip on a track from Pink Floyd's The Wall and you've about got the soundtrack.
"All in all, you're just a-/-nother brick in the wall"
We were also desparate to figure out why our lives were so tragic, why we went through so much alienation and pain, and to carve our mark on the world as "special." We wanted to be acknowledged as important -- not just, "oh, sweetie, yes you are special to all of your friends and family," but the dark, broody shake-the-world special that only comes along every century or two. Like, someone that really was somebody. Unforgettable, you know? We could see it in ourselves, why couldn't everyone else?
*shrug We were teenagers.
So we ran out and tried our very best to be the most unique (and outrageous, and "different") that we could be. And, of course, we enforced that rigor of difference on one another with a whip-cracking that would have made Patton stand up and holler.
We despised, individually and as a group, those that "fit in." Cookie-cutter people who could all line up so easily in their little boxes, oooooooh, they were so disgusting. And they worshipped normalcy. Well, normalcy stunk, and it was beneath us.
But you know, I'm not saying I don't think blind acceptance of social rules is silly (and a little scary), or that smug cloistered little lives aren't a waste of the spark they smother inside -- but, you know, very few people are the way they look on the surface. And I've got more important things to worry about now than establishing myself as unique to the world, and to myself.
It's kind of nice. It's certainly easier on the emotions, believe me.
And I made friends with a beautiful ex-cheerleader last year. Me! Yep, the one who would seethe inside at beauty and luck when I found it in another.
She's pretty cool. The ex-cheerleader, I mean -- we shared a bar of chocolate to get through a busy night. But yeah, me too. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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They say that the true definition of an extrovert is someone who gains energy by being around other people. It rejuvenates them. By the same token, then, the introvert becomes extremely drained when dealing with others -- needs the alone time to rejuvenate.
Although I love alone time (more so the older I get), I have to admit that I've very much an extrovert by that definition. However, my oldest son is much like you, Syn. He has always been the loner that hates trying to make conversation, and is SO unsure of himself around others.
Now that he is in college, for the first time he is actually trying and wanting to learn some socialization skills. It is such work for him -- more so than his schoolwork, and I'm no help because I have never felt what he feels. I don't know what changed his mind about wanting to learn to relate to others more, but I imagine it had something to do with girls and needing to learn how to make smalltalk to get a conversation started.
This weekend he is taking a trip with the church youth group to a deal in Tulsa, and he was complaining this morning that the youth leaders always split the group into guys/girls divide. Probably the guys will all ride in one van and the girls in the other. He hates that because 1) he can talk to girls more easily than guys for some reason, and 2)he said all the things guys want to talk about are immature and not of his interest. (i.e. cars, etc.)
I said perhaps the guys would really RATHER talk about more important and mature things, but no one ever wants to be the un-cool one to bring up a different subject. I suggested he do it (he won't, I know).
Wish as a parent I could do more to help him, but I guess socialization is something he will have to learn within his peer group.
posted
I'm actually ridiculously extroverted; if I'm not around people on a regular basis, I become lazy, depressed, and lethargic.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Well, Syn, maybe this isn't good advice, but it's what I got.
I used to hate the teachers for making me participate, then ignoring it when I got teased. I wanted to be left alone.
After several years of this teasing and being a part of a really messed up "social" group, I learned to be a lot more self-sufficient, for everything including my self-esteem.
So now I'm a loner AND self-sufficient. Pretty good mix and the result is that I'm pretty good at dealing with it when I'm then center of attention, even if I don't feel like being one on the inside.
Hmmmm...that was a mish-mash of ideas. Oh well.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:And I made friends with a beautiful ex-cheerleader last year. Me! Yep, the one who would seethe inside at beauty and luck when I found it in another.
She's pretty cool. The ex-cheerleader, I mean -- we shared a bar of chocolate to get through a busy night. But yeah, me too.
*loves, loves, loves Hatrack*
Yep, me too. My step-mom has neices that are around my age, and they all look like models, married faithful, active, rich husbands, dress like they stepped out of a bandbox, are charming and social, and, worst of all, are smart and nice to the core. Did their very best to make me feel as comfortable as they could, and were very sweet. Ruined resenting their ilk for forever. So annoying.
I also agree with Mack. It's hard, but if I don't do it, I'm miserable.
*hugs all of Hatrack* Oh, you are my people.
quote:11. It’s not about you. Don’t ever be offended, or hurt, or put upon in any way, if a person ever snubs your friendliness. They are a stranger. They don’t know you. Whatever their reaction, it most likely has a lot more to do with how they are feeling today, and what they have going on in their life, than it does anything at all about you. Be blasé about rejection. After all, with strangers, you have no expectation that they are good people, or kind, or polite. They could be afraid of strangers, or too busy, or in a bad mood. They could be anything at all. Accept that and don’t be worried or put off by it, but respond according to how they act. I’ve found that almost everyone is decent, kind and good.
12. Don’t get discouraged. It takes a lot of tries to get one hit. Don’t expect instant complete success. Cultivate friendliness as an attitude, an overall approach to people, and you will begin to make more and more friends. It’s a snowball thing. Give it time and be persistent. With practice and consistent effort, you will eventually get results.
I just have the hardest time making groups of friends. I mean, I can be a friend...or at least an acquaintance with all the members of a particular group of friends. But I never seem to become part of the group.
As I result, I mostly ask certain single people if they want to do something. But almost always these friends are out or already have plans with the group. I feel like I'm being intrusive if I ask to come along. So I mostly stay in at night and on weekends.
I even feel intrusive putting all my issues out in this thread because it should be about Syn, not me and my crap. I just don't get how to be in a group of people. Even ak's list doesn't seem to give me much hope.
Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I'm actually the same as you, I can make my own friends, but not friends with a group of another person's friends. I can become casual friends with them, but always feel as if I'm intruding no matter how warm or open they try to be me.
I'm actually a fairly extroverted person- I like being around people but only if I know them well. Otherwise, it's a bit taxing for me to ah, for lack of better wording- "force" socialize myself.
I think the answer to that problem is just to make your own friends and your own group of people. The thing about other groups is- the pure knowledge that the people are only hanging around you not for you specifically, but for your friend. So of course you will feel a bit intrusive when you are around them.
Syn,
Yeah, socializing is a bit overrated. What's the point of doing so, if it's all forced? I don't think your a completely anti-social though, you just have to find people your comfortable with that's all.
Arg, I actually have more to say but if I don't go now, I'll be late for school. More later.
Posts: 65 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
I want to point out that there's a huge difference between being naturally introverted and being afraid of other people just as there's a huge difference between being extroverted and seeking escape from yourself in other people.
Almost all aspects of human nature can be broken down into component desires for safety and for challenge. In order to fully experience any part of being human, you've got to strike a balance between these two extremes. Neurotic introversion or extroversion come about when people cling to the safety side of things.
Of course, I'm a flaming extrovert with a very strong personal life, so you'd expect me to say something like this.
edit: I'd also like to point out that I can completely identify with not wanting to socialize with people because they suck. Fakeness is an epidemic problem in our culture. However, I truely believe that each person, if you can get through all their defenses and layers of dissosciation, can be fascinating. Each person is walking around a work of art, but they hide it, because mass produced Walmart goods is what our society is comfortable with.
I don't really consider myself to be an extraverted guy. I prefer listening to conversations rather than being in them, and when there are big groups, I tend to just be quiet and agreeable. Or so I see myself that way. I laugh just about everytime someone describes me as being very social, and outgoing (believe me, it took a year of mental preperation to do the orange tights). But at the same time, oddly enough, in terms of making friends and connecting with people, I can do it with no problem.
I still need to be able to do things with friends though. And my friends are usually always good to be around to do something. Thats how it is when your friends are unemployed... or in a chat room.
Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2003
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katharina, I used to be such a miserable person. I hated watching television because it reminded me how ugly I was in comparison, I hated meeting new people because I was waiting for them to laugh at me -- egads, I don't think I'd like that old self if I met her. (I'm still nervous and a bit goofy and self-conscious, but it's on a whole different scale.)
I would withold affection and friendship from other girls and women because they had something I didn't -- I wasn't mean, but cold. I figured someone ought not fawn over them like that, as if I was doing them a moral favor by refusing to praise their wonderfulness. And so I stewed in bitterness, and I comforted myself that at least I was savvy enough not to fall for their wiles. (Come to think of it, I was always much more concerned what other women thought of me than men, and the approval of men, although desirable, was desirable insofar as it proved to me that I was better than other women.)
Urgh.
Not pretty.
Life is so much easier now, and though I'd love to attribute it to some sort of enlightenment or epiphany, probably it has a lot to do with the F-You Factor. That is, I'm happy and secure now, so the trembling rage/fear of clawing through the competition isn't there. I have a secure, loving home life with my husband, some beautiful and amazingly cool friends who like to have me around, and I have some skills that I feel I could contribute to the world, in whatever circumstance.
So, I get blown off by a snothead? "Ah, well, F-You, poor thing. I really hope you find some happiness." (in a sad, sincere sort of way, with the cursing part just tinged with ruefulness)
Have my job threatened by the powers that be? "Well, F-You, I never in my life worked for anyone but a patient anyway, so you know what you can do with your stinkin' job, you ratfink." (in an angry, righteous wrath which rests on security in my own skills)
Get turned down by an interviewer? "So what, F-You, you'll never know what you missed." (halfway out the door voice)
I wonder if I'd be so blase about it all if life pulled a Job on me? Betcha I'd be eating these words pretty quick.
Hard stuff, life is.
*grateful for my corner of bliss
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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I completely agree...they're dreadful! And yet...collective REAL laughter is such a liberating feeling. I gave a presentation in a class on humor in Haydn's music that degenerated briefly into a 10-minute gigglefest (in which I saw my normally reserved professor laugh himself almost to tears, along with the rest of the class). I can handle that kind of group interaction.
That said, I despise forced socialization. If the person or people I'm socializing with doesn't really know me, I'm always uncomfortable and worried about "screwing up" somehow. I know that a certain amount of socialization is necessary (yeah, we all need people, to a certain extent), but like Syn, I'd much rather just choose my 1 or 2 people and let the rest go.
Syn, I'm the same way as you in groups of more than one--not talking, but listening. For me, it's sort of developed into a large part of who I am--I sort of think of it as my "Observer" role. Hence the lurking.
And on that note...
*goes back to lurking*
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
I never really feel too social, as in actually close to people, but I can fake it pretty good. Usually I'm best in small groups, like 5 - 10 people, but when it comes to just walking up to people and starting to talk, no way. Can't do it.
Conversationalism is a useful skill. If you intend to do a job that involves people contact in great amounts it's gonna be invaluable. That way, even if you don't really do anything, you can still impress people. Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
This is one of the reasons I enjoyed WenchCon so much. Heck, Hatrack already knows the geeky worst of me. There's no farther down to go. I simply loved it.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I was a very introverted child. I considered myself an introvert pretty much my entire life until last year.
Farmgirl, when I did the MyersBriggs personality inventory they told us the same thing about extroverts being energized by people.
I did the inventory, very honestly, and scored ENFP, highly extroverted highly intuitive. I went up to the guy who was running the deal and said "I'm an introvert. This isn't right"
He laughed. Then he told me that he was watching all of us before the talk began. And he noticed me and remembered me. He said I entered the room and immediately began "making rounds" Going up to people, hugging them, touching them on the shoulder or arm when I talked to them and making sure I talked to everyone. During praise and worship (this was a church couples retreat) I was singing and laughing with everybody.
He said I was about as obvious an extrovert as it gets.
When I told the story to my therapist she was shocked that I would EVER have considered myself an introvert. It was obvious to everyone but me.
When I was a kid, I wasn't an introver - I was a depressed extrovert. My depression symptoms in childhood and adolescence were so pronounced, I look back now and want to say "Why didn't anybody do anything! No one thought it odd that I spent hours outside walking around my yard in circles?"
*sigh*
So....for people who are introverts, the desire to be alone is not a bad thing. But sometimes, a desire to be alone too much (and of course, even us extroverts like to be alone some) can be a signal of something else going on.
I don't think I really have a point here, I just wanted to share that story.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Folks have such excelent things to say. Excellent point about the Walmart goods, Mr. McSquicky. Cool statements, everyone ^^ At my job I am in the Hive of Humanity. There's always parents bringing in adorable children. Old men and women. Guys with very nice hats and gorgeous people with beautiful looking eyes that are ncie to look into. And I smile and wave at the whole lot of them. I am very polite all the time when i am not cranky about the slow passage of time. Supermarket work is mostly useful for people studying. Like the guy that comes in looking like a bearded Tony Soprano or this guy with shocking blue eyes or the guy who wears shorts in cold weather to show off his excellent celtic cross tattoos. And my co-workers are also nice too. A few of them will give me rides when it's too cold or the weather is too messy to walk home. Still, I don't really have close friends there yet, but reaccuring people after a while can become tight friends. The few friends I have I'm intensely loyal to no matter what. (Such as my overseas friend, who I hope to meet one day) And over the years, I have gotten used to my own eccentricity and do little to hide most of them. I could not really hide them if I tried anyway... Too much trouble and I like them too much to hide them away... Ever seen this movie called Little Voice? This character reminds me a little of me and a friend I used to have (But how can I consider her a friend when she has hung up on me when I call her? >....<) The girl in the movie is quite and shy to the point of pain. She just mostly sits in her room listening to Billie Holiday and singing, but she's an awesome character. Maybe it's because in conversations I tend to say random things or something... @_@
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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