posted
It's with tremendous reflection that I start this thread.
I was born a poor red dragon, with a gimpy left arm on September 16, 1970. My father left before I was born, my mother was left to raise me and my two brothers by herself.
I took to the skies at an early age, and would often fly far from home before my mother would venture out to find me and tell me to go home.
One day, after flying far from home on a summer day, my mother sent my oldest brother Steven out to find me. When he did, he beat me up pretty good then flew home. Pissed off at my brother's whipping, I vowed that day to never get whupped again.
I flew home as fast as I could -- too fast, in fact. While taking a turn too sharp, I clip a tree top, and took a nasty fall. My gimpy arm shattered. I spent weeks in the dragon hospital, and while the doctors did their best, my left arm never recovered. In the past few years, I've regained some mobility, but it never grew again.
When I finally came to grips with my new disabilty, I remembered my vow of never getting whupped on again. So, I started working out my only good arm. Today, it's pretty beefy strong.
My brothers were still the bane of my existence, however. I might have been creeping up on them in the strength factor, but they were able to breathe fire. I wasn't. They were able to light trees on fire with only a few breaths. I wasn't.
So, I worked on it. I started by swallowing lighter fluid, lighting a match, and spitting out the fluid with the match in front of my face. Didn't work too well. You see, I have a slight drooling problem, and my cheeks caught on fire. I still have the scar.
I didn't brush my teeth for weeks. Nothing.
I took fire-breathing classes in High School. Still nothing.
It wasn't until I realized that looking at the act of breathing fire was all wrong. I needed a new inspiration. I needed to approach it from a new angle. So I did.
So, I started to utilize a slightly different method. Instead of merely breathing fire at an object, I would spew drool, spittle and phlegm, which when it exited my mouth combined to do more than ignite and burn.
Oh yes. This was the beginning of 'The Burninator.'
Nobody could rival me. If I burninated something, it burned for eternity.
Since I was discovered by StrongBad I've become pretty popular, I guess. But I'm still the same friendly dragon I've always been. But now I'm badder, and can flay the flesh off your back with one simple burnination.
(Oh, and I've changed the password back to its old one again, for those of you who wish to chime in. If you want)
[ March 03, 2004, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: Trogdor the Burninator ]
Posts: 1481 | Registered: Mar 2003
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That was beautiful. I'm so glad you shared it with us. You must be very strong to have gone through all of that and turned into the person we love and respect so much.
Posts: 5383 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Imagines the tears putting out Trog's flames, but in the process healing the wounded left arm, freeing Trog to become his whole, unblemished self and thereby saving the universe from destruction . . .
yeah - I gotta stop working OT.
Nice, Trog! I'm gonna hire you to write my 2000 landmark. Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
From one one-armed superhero to another, great landmark my friend.
Shan, I'm not stalking you, it just seems that way because I'm everywhere you are. Um... you know what I mean.
Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
So I'll usually add to the list/archive whatever is called a landmark by the author, but do you really want this in there?
Posts: 6213 | Registered: May 2001
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And, Trogdor, you're an inspiration. While I can't actually burninate peasants, you can bet I'm not tossing them coins or anything.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Trogdor, I've been a fan of yours for a long time. Thanks for sharing the intimate secrets of your Burnination. Did you realize you use some of the same methods for burning as a bombardier beetle? It mixes chemicals as it shoots them from its abdomen, which vaporizes them and turns them into another chemical. Your chemistry, however, burninates them all.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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You are all so nice to me here. In honor of this, I will now post the 'Gay train' smilie for my first time.
I live for Hatrack. I love you all. Except the newbies. And it looks like there are some who need some good burnination about now.
Posts: 1481 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
You know, this post brings up an overlooked segment of abused child dragons everywhere: sibling abuse. Sure, we are always blaming the parents for flaming their kids, but what about those abused by their very own brothers?
Trogdor, I would highly suggest therapy. I have a strong suspicion that you may be experiencing Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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