posted                   

quote:

---

Hi FooFoo,
there is one song I loved when I was about 18 which talks about the mutual and respective hard time parents and children have and about the importance of trying to see both sides' points of views and hardships. I thought of it again this week, with the miscommunication difficulties we're having, for the first time as a parent, and I wanted to send it to you. Maybe you'll find some comfort in it too and maybe it might just help a little bit to understand that, as parents and children, we are bonded for life despite difficult periods and what may seem at times to be impossible to bridge over. This song also has a beautiful tune; you can hear it at the end of the movie Melody.

You once asked me if I'll still love you if you did something I strongly disapproved of (I don't know if you remember; it was a few years back) and I told you that for a parent loving their children is a lot stronger than them. It's not something to evaluate or contemplate or measure; it's primal and it's much stronger than you. I told you that even if you killed someone I'd still loved you, even if I would be horrified and completely disapproving of your actions. We couldn't stop loving you more than we could cut off our left arm because you're a part of us same as our left arm is. And I do believe parents are just as primal to their kids in the same way. I think that's why my father failed his parenthood; because he never felt this way about us, he always thought only about himself, and there's something unnatural, and obviously unsuccessful, about that kind of perception of parents'-children relationship.

We know you are angry, hurt and confused. We are too. I guess we can all think of it as a rite of passage: not only in terms of inevitable suffering that has to do with growing pains in order to cross that part of life to reach a later peace, but also of the actual pain involved in the process. That's probably what the man walking on hot bricks feels: it's worth it in the long run to reach a certain desired nirvana, but while you are in the actually walking, hot bricks hurt like hell!

much love,

Aba and Ima

Teach Your Children (Graham Nash)
You who are on the road
must have a code that you can live by
and so become yourself
because the past is just a goodbye
Teach your children well
their father's hell
will slowly go by
and feed them on your dreams
the one they pick
the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why
if they told you, you would cry
so just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.
And you, of tender years ,
can't know the fears
that your elders grew by
and so please help them with your youth
they seek the truth
before they can die.
(Can you hear and do you care
and can't you see we must be free
to teach our children what you believe in
make a world that we can believe in)
Teach your parents well
their children's hell
will slowly go by
and feed them on your dreams
the one they pick
the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why
if they told you, you would cry
so just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.

---

Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                   

quote:

---

(Well, maybe some [men] do, but not most.)

---

Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged |