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Author Topic: What you did to get yourself out of your lowest point
peterh
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Several people here have dealt or are dealing with depression. In Mayday's thread, Beren suggested something to help her out in rough times and I thought it was a good idea. (A spiritual first aid kit)

It got me thinking about my lowest point and what I did that helped me. I was at a point where I was very low. One day I got in my car and drove somewhere I'd never been before. As I passed a cemetery in a very small town I decided to stop. I got out of the car and wandered around and read the markers and epitaphs. It was extremely theraputic for me and helped me realize that I didn't want my body to be there any time soon, regarless of thoughts I'd recently been having.

I didn't want to share this in Mayday's thread, because what worked for me then may not be a good solution for me or anyone else in the future, but I thought that others might benefit from it.

So... What did you find that helped you at a time that you felt you were at your lowest point?

Please feel free to share what led you to that low point if you feel it is appropriate, but remember that the point of this thread is to share the uplifting side of what helped you.

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jeniwren
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Gratitude.

Some years ago I was dating a Christian Scientist, and was complaining of frequent debilitating headaches. I was not a very happy person at the time. He suggested that perhaps there was something more to my headaches than just an ache in my head. His prescription to fix it was to spend some time each day being grateful.

To tell the truth, I wanted to punch him for the suggestion. It was just a headache. There wasn't anything wrong with me for goodness sake, just my head.

But desperate because my head was fit to split, I took an hour and recounted everything I could be grateful for. It took real effort at first. Then it got easier. And seriously, the headache was gone by the time the hour was up.

And I was happier. In fact, I was in tears. I've kept up the habit ever since. When I'm low, I consciously make the effort to think of all the things I can be grateful for. It *always* helps.

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Derrell
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It's been said that laughter is the best medicine. When I'm feeling depressed I look for something that will make me laugh. I also focus exclusively on the fluff threads during those times.

Friends, laughter, and fluff.

I'm still going to see a therapist, but until then, I use anything I can to lighten my mood.

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UofUlawguy
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What works for me is taking a young child to the park, and just watching them (joining in when asked), and putting the rest of life out of the picture for a while. If it's still hard, then hug them, and don't let go.
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Phanto
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Falling in love and being loved would easily cure any depression.
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pooka
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I like laughter, and deep breathing. I think that's another good part of exercise. It's just hard to keep worrying if you are breathing deep.
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Ryuko
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Phanto: You can't depend on that to cure depression. It's not fair to either the depressed person or their partner...
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Storm Saxon
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Jeniwren, that was a pretty awesome post. [Smile]
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Brinestone
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I can think of two pretty low points, and the brightest part of my memory of each involves flowers. I also prayed a lot and listened to beautiful music.

I love jeniwren's advice about gratitude, too. I remember a distinct time when I decided I was tired of being grumpy all the time and wanted to be happy. I knew I had plenty to be happy about, so I started writing it down. I still have that list, and I look at it when I'm feeling blue.

I also keep a letter at my computer desk that Jon Boy wrote me and that never fails to cheer me up.

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ReikoDemosthenes
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I actually can't remember...I think isolation does it for me somewhat...people letting me keep to myself...and while I'm there, I listen to music...well...I always listen to music...but just the right music for the right time, not depressing music, but generally calming music usually...and then I fall asleep...cemetaries are good places for this...writing a sonnet is good practise as well, for myself...
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Jon Boy
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I can't remember specific things I've done to drag myself out of really low points, but I have a general sense of it, at least. Find something good to cling to, and convince yourself that death really isn't the easy way out. I remember sort of idly contemplating suicide when I was a teenager, and it struck me that even if it ended all my wordly troubles, it would cause my family and friends a great deal of sorrow and trouble. It might have "ended" my problems, but it would've created much bigger problems for the people I cared about. I couldn't accept that, and I didn't want to stay miserable, so I had to find good reasons for sticking it out. I'm not sure what they all were, but I know that my faith was a big part of it.
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Troubadour
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When I was at my very lowest I didn't even realise it. I spent a year watching the sterile walls of my apartment and getting far. Oh, and screwing up every personal and professional relationship I had.

It wasn't until I travelled the 1200 kilometres home for Christmas that I figured out how seriously wrong something was with my life. I arrived home, sat down on the couch and my mum asked how I was.

I broke down crying uncontrollably for what seemed like an age. I had no idea why, I hadn't cried since I was a kid and it was just this horrible welling out of pain that I'd kept buried.

So my parents moved 1200 kilometres to live with me for six months and help me get my life on track.

That helped a lot!

But it's probably not something that everybody can do....

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Ayelar
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Yeah, Jeni, seriously. Makes me think about giving church another try. Or at least a reading room.
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John L
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Made small goals for myself. Each one was separate from the other. Each helped me get to a better place. I had to ask for help setting them.

I began actively trying to learn to stop lying to myself. It took years, therapy, and medication.

Finally—and I don't suggest this to anyone—I nearly died. Not self-inflicted. I had an accident that put me in a coma for three weeks and temporarily took away my ability to walk, talk, or even eat and go to the bathroom without help. The thing is, I had severe head trauma and some brain damage from it, as well (short-term memory areas, so don't get any ideas), and this may have had something to do with my recovery—my doctors thought this may have had an effect on my bipolar, though they can't say for sure what. However, also part of it is that I was told I wouldn't walk inside of six months, and not very well even a year afterward. I was walking inside of two out of sheer determination and some quick healing, and anyone who saw me at Endercon could see I was walking just fine.

So, you could say the thing that pulled me out was being put in a situation where it was either give up or fight. That's extreme, but you can get that in small increments by placing many smaller challenges on yourself, best done with the help of someone you trust.

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Trogdor the Burninator
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quote:
I also keep a letter at my computer desk that Jon Boy wrote me and that never fails to cheer me up
I never got a letter.
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TomDavidson
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This is going to sound really silly, but I think what finally pulled me out of it -- just in time to meet Christy as someone relatively sane, rather than a complete wreck -- was sitting up one morning and realizing that I hated my life and had absolutely no one I could blame for it.

So I got well and genuinely ticked off at myself. I wouldn't recommend this to people who're already suffering from low self-esteem, perhaps, but it was a decent cure for complacency.

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Jon Boy
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Consider it in the mail, Pat.
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MyrddinFyre
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Troubs, I've done that before, many a time... [Embarrassed]

For me loud, confusing, angry, noisy, intense music makes me grin. But like many others, NOT a solution for everyone. [Smile]

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Toretha
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I've had two. First time, I met a girl who was really shy and withdrawn, and obviously needed a friend more than I did. And knowing her forced me to stop being so sure nothing was ever going to be ok again, because there was someone else who needed a friend, and I needed to pay attention

The second, I went on retreat. Silent retreat, I knew I needed time away, and it was a birthday present my parents had promised me, so I went. And then, the nun directing my retreat asked me about a journal she'd had me write (first session) and I just started sobbing and couldn't stop for a while. Then I told her all about everything, and just talking about it helped, and then, when she told me to do nothing for the rest of the retreat, not to try to accomplish anything, just to relax, sleep, and let things come as they would. So I did. And even though things were the same when I got back, they were more managable, and now I'm starting to rebuild.

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jeniwren
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Thanks Stormy. [Smile] I have very fond memories of that man. He was much too old for me but he had such a great heart. And he was a dyed in the wool Democrat. Staggers the imagination what I'd be like if we'd stayed together.

Ayelar, go for the reading room. I found Christian Science services to be incredibly boring. YMMV [Smile]

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Amka
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My first lowest point, it wasn't so much depression as anger. I held on to it so much that I got sick. I didn't realize that was why I was sick until my father said a prayer for me to get well according to my faith.

The anger left. It just drained out of me. It took a while for my body to heal. My parents offered some concern, but I told them it was okay, that everything was good and that I actually was better.

But that wouldn't work for everyone.

I think Toretha mentioned one of my favorites for getting out of low points: service. Depression is very self centered, and when I open up to think about other people, I stop thinking about what a horrible person I am and think about how I can help that person. And jeniwren mentioned another one: gratitude.

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Jenny Gardener
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I started taking care of myself. I paid attention to my heart's desires, and I was nice to my body. I brushed my teeth, I got my hair done, and I took myself out to eat at the Chinese restaurant.

Even today, I have trouble taking care of myself when I am depressed. If I slow down for a moment, take myself out to eat, and spend some time consciously taking care of my body (which I don't do usually), I can usually shift my consciousness to a more productive mood.

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peterh
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Thanks to those who have shared thus far. With all the sad things going on with people on this board, this has boosted my spirits.
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ak
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Sincere and heartfelt prayer.

Talking to friends.

Truthfulness, openness, dropping all pretenses and ambitions, simplifying my life, appreciating the beauty of nature.

Taking care of myself. Learning to be kind to myself as though I were another person in need of kindness. Learning to stop mentally kicking myself and constantly berating and belittling myself.

Getting back to basics. "I am the sunlight and the moonlight and the taste of water." Running hard until I'm very tired and thirsty, then appreciating the joy of relaxation and a cool drink of water. Sitting in the sunshine. Hiking in the woods. Breathing. Looking at the stars. Being a human animal alive on planet Earth. Sleep.

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Nick
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quote:
Falling in love and being loved would easily cure any depression.
Getting dumped can cause a depression easier than falling in love can cure it.

I'm having issues with this now so... nevermind... [Blushing]

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katharina
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1. People. I need people, and if I'm depressed, I can almost guarantee it is mostly because I need more human contact than I'm getting. So, I have to go and find people. Mostly I talk to people at church who look a little out of place. There's benefits all the way around to doing that.

2. Paint. After the breakup a year and a bit ago, I started this painting that born in my brain at three in the morning when I was staring at the ceiling, stalled by insomnia and not seeing a way out. It took me months to finish, but by the time I was done, everything was better. In fact, I knew I had stop working on it because I kept wanting to put happy colors and more detail in it, and the point of the painting was the greater [blue]ness of benighted snow, with no expression, nothing to express.

3. Keep my house clean. I make extra effort to make sure my surroundings are as lovely and clean as I can make them.

4. Scriptures and prayer.

5. Exercise. Hard, until I ache.

[ April 19, 2004, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]

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Epictetus
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My lowest point came in the middle of my senior year of High School. I wound up going to a doctor, who actually perscribed an anti-depressant since my case was so bad.
I have to agree with you guys though that human contact and just sheer determination can really help overcome it.

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Kwea
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I just tried to keep busy.
I helped out at a dog adoption place, and just being around all those dogs helped.

And I left the Army. The place I was in the Army scared the hell out of me, and was a big reason why I was feeling so low.

Music use to help, but once I stopped playing, it only made it worse. I love music, but it took years for my love of it to stop being painful.

I started helping out at shelters, and soup kitchens; and as I helped others, I started feeling better about myself.

And I realized that I would rather be alone than with others I didn't respect. I had a few friends who were worth while, like my friend Kevin O'Connor, but a lot of the people I knew really weren't helping me at all. So I started hanging out with people I respected, and tried to stay away from my old self-destructive patterns of behavior.

It didn't happen over night, and it had to come from within, but I am happier now than ever before, and I am married to jenniK, and looking forward to having a family, something I would have never been able to cope with if I hadn't relearned how to love myself first.

Kwea

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Stan the man
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I met someone in school who changed my life. We became great friends. She somehow made me want to get out of the depression I was in. Heck, the shrink didn't help much. I don't know how I keep the depression away now. I just do. I haven't seen her in.........wow, since Anger Management was playing in theatres last Easter.
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Olivetta
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All of the above.

And medication. I cannot say how grateful I am for medication. It took me a long time to face the fact that NOTHING was helping. Nothing in my life was wrong, mind you. I did everything I was supposed to do. Exercise, volunteer work, playing goofy games with the kids, etc. I did it all, and it was fine, but I no longer possessed the chemical capacity for joy.

Finally, I came to see that medication was not a sign of my personal failing, but a remedy for something that happened to my body as a result of real, physical, biological changes. Diabetics take insulin to live normally because there body doesn't make enough anymore. I take 50mg of Zoloft every day, because my brain no longer makes seretonin the way it used to. I refuse to see that as a personal failing, when it is actually a biological fact. Just so you know. [Smile]

A person very close to me took Prozac for two years because she had a bad marriage, and it didn't help (DUH). I know these things can be abused.

But sometimes it is like Insulin, or premarin or some such--- a physical treatment for a physical change.

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Yebor1
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Took one day at a time.
Kept on chugging along.
Knew things had to gvet better.

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PSI Teleport
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Firmer grounding in the Word of God has always helped, and it's always been the only thing that's helped.
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Unmaker
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I stared deep into the abyss and heard it call to me. I knew myself for the useless piece of vile nothingness that I was.

Then I turned and looked at my children and saw myself, in their eyes, for the wonderful human being I was capable of becoming.

So I hauled myself up, grabbling painfully for handholds, back into the light.

It was the most excruciating moment of my life, and the most edifying, at the end. It totally redefined me. Nadirs exist for a purpose.

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