I mean the people are 99.9% the same. If you put me in a room with a Catholic, a Mormon, a Hindu and a Muslim, and religion in general was never brought up, I doubt very seriously that I would be able to tell who was who.
If you left your religion to participate in your partner's religion, I bet, given some time, you would have some amazing revelations about the truthfulness of your partner's religion, and vice versa, and how there really isn't that much seperating them.
quote: It's a matter of time. What about.. well, what about tithing? And remember the priesthood thing? Where do the kids get baptized? Church is three hours long on Sundays and there's stuff during the week. The amount of scriptures quadruple. The amount of comprimises that would have to be made is amazing, and for many of them, you'd have to choose between your religion and your family. If you really believe your religion, that's a terrible choice. Why set yourself up for it?
Obviously, if you marry someone else with the attitude of absolutism, that only one religion is absolutely the right way to go and there really is only one, true way to worship God, you're going to run into problems.
But that is a choice. It's perfectly possible to be syncretic in your philosophy and beliefs. In a marriage, you do that to some degree anyway. Doing it with two religions just takes compromise. Certainly if you believe two people can walk into a marriage without ever having sex and make it work through communication, the same applies to religion.
So, maybe you compromise on the priesthood and they compromise on dietary laws. Maybe you go to Mosque on Saturdays and Temple on Sundays. It's quite doable. There's no shame in going your own way sometimes, though whether whatever church you are going to approves is another story.
I think T should know that his world isn't going to end if he marries a non-Mormon. We're really not bad people. Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Aww... It's not a matter of bad people, Stormy.
But being Mormon does mean that it has something that other religions don't, something important. Even agreeing that there's no real difference between the two means you've already given up something...
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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When my sister got married everyone was so worried. She had 4 Mormon friends who all married in the temple and were so concerned for her because her boyfriend was non-Mormon. She left the church and married someone who many considered suspect.
Jump 17 some-odd-years later and she is the only one still married. If you hold Mormonism more important then people, by all means, find someone with the same values.
Posts: 1034 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
*shrug* My step-sister married a guy that converted for her. They got divorced a couple of years ago.
Didn't Tom find some data that LDS marrying in the tmple have an 11% divorce rate, but LDS marrying a non-LDS have an 45% divorce rate?
Stormy, even in your justification, what you're saying is that it's okay to compromise your religion for somebody. That's just what I mean - you will probably have to in some ways.
One of my best friends - the one in SoCal for any Shindaers who are reading - married her oldest friend, a non-member. And she and her parents completely felt it was the right thing to do. I believe her. My dad married a non-member (my mom). I'm not saying its always a disaster. But it's a factor.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Kat, sorry about that sentence. That was overly snarky.
I agree with you that if you absolutely, positively have to be in the church and that you can only go to that church, then, yes, only date Mormons. What's the point of even dating non-Mormons?
However, if you think, for whatever reason, that you could go to another church and still be a good Mormon, or a good person, whatever, then by all means, date around and marry outside your group.
I'm not arguing against what you're saying. That would be silly.
I'm just trying to say that it's o.k., to me, and to many other people, if you go outside the church and date and marry. You can be happy. It *is* an option.
But it does come down to what you really believe. If T really believes that he could never marry outside the Mormon church, then I think he better not *date* outside the Mormon church, because that's not only a dead-end, it's liable to tempt him away from his church.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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quote: Being LDS is a big part of who I am, and right now, I'd have to say that for me, she'd have to be LDS, too. I'm not saying I won't date/flirt with nonMormon girls, but in the long run, her having the same religion as me would work better.
Not saying that if I didn't marry someone who was LDS it would be a disaster (I think any person I marry I'd have to think it wouldn't be a disaster), but that if she was, it would compliment me more, since LDS is a part of who I am. I'm sorry if you felt like I was saying nonLDS girls aren't good enough for me.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote: If T really believes that he could never marry outside the Mormon church, then I think he better not *date* outside the Mormon church
I agree with the statement, but not the conclusion. More like, why would you deliberatly create an emotinal attachment that you knew you'd eventually have to terminate when you could be looking for one that could potentially lead to marriage?
But that's assuming an answer to the question, what is the purpose of dating?
posted
I don't get non-sexual 'dating' anyway. What's the difference between that and just being friends with someone? If you're just seeing someone because they're your friend and you're not interested in marrying them, or doing anything sexual with them, why call it dating?
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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quote: If T really believes that he could never marry outside the Mormon church, then I think he better not *date* outside the Mormon church
The funny thing is is I never said I couldn't marry outside the LDS church, just that it would compliment me better. Stop assuming things about me.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Yes, but both you and kat are using that 'if', that assumption, to make a point, when that 'if' shouldn't be there to begin with on me. It'd be different if you said "If someone in the LDS church really believes..." yadda yadda yadda.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Uh, I don't know which mood or tense or whatever my statement is in, but it doesn't read to me as a statement of fact. If I wanted to make it a statement of fact, I would have said 'since'. Maybe Kama would like to school me on this.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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T, did you read that thread about whether people want kids or religion (I think it also talked about smoking and vegetarianism). It had some thoughts about marriage. Wish I could remember what it was called. Are people just desperate...Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Yeah Stormy, you know you've always wanted to be "schooled" by Kama, you just finally hit on a plan to convince her to do it! AJ
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
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I'm not allowed to make vague sexual innuendos in Kama's direction. She gets mad at me every time I do it. Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I didn't. No. I was just responding to Bana. Sorry that I wasn't clear.
By the way, did I goof grammatically in my 'if' sentence? I'm genuinely curious since I really don't see it as a statement of fact.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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In these sentences, the conditional clauses represent open conditions. We make such statements when the action or event is being actively considered, or appears likely to happen.
I was actually thinking type 0 conditionals:
quote:
These sentences are statements of universal truth or general validity, and in this type of sentence, "if" corresponds closely in meaning with "when"
posted
Hrm. But I'm not saying that he does think a certain way. Yes, it's a statement of fact in that *if* he believes or does x, then I think y should be the result. I'm not saying that he does think that way, though. I think.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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quote: I am to write a letter to myself on how to pick a marriage partner
Take her out on a date, and open the passenger side door for her. Close it behind her and walk around to your door. If she reaches over and unlocks it for you, there's your keeper. If she doesn't, at least the curb is right there to kick her to.
I think this assignment sounds great. Marriage is the elephant in the room when you hit college these days, more so because trends are heading towards group dating and random hookups (this has actually been discussed in some of my philosophy, ethics, and sociology classes). A friend and I agree that while love is required, it is not enough. She and I came to this after having been in relationships where we loved deeply and were loved deeply and yet the relationship didn't work out. This is largely because of the extent that people our age change, I think. Still, people are going to keep changing all their lives - to me the most important part of a relationship is just that: that it IS a relationship. You know, the thing where you talk to someone relatively honestly about what you think about your life, their life, your lives together; the important stuff (money, politics, religion) has to gel enough, but when it's six p.m. on Tuesday night, you're not watching the news, money's not pressing atm, church/God/prayer isn't immediate absorption, yet you want to be together, what do you do?
I want a tickle fight, banter that makes me laugh until I snort, opinions on whether it was Mary or Percy who wrote most of Frankenstein, and no fear that the guy I'm with is going to adore me just as much after our slightly-more-heated-than-is-mature conversation about Mary and Percy. And that I'll still adore him. I want someone I trust and that I have fun with, in that order, both necessary.
What do you want?
Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote: First, I can't even imagine myself being married, which is going to be normal, so I'm not freaked out that I don't really care to be right now. Next, there is a lot of me that needs improving for any kind of relationship, mostly self esteem wise. People like people who like themselves.
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