posted
So much of our lives are spent trying to learn how to live - or even, in some cases, how not to. And, sometimes, the trying turns into failure. And, sometimes, it becomes a success.
I think... that as long as you're still learning, still trying, that you're honestly doing better than a depressingly large part of humanity.
... And I know, for me, that the literature I've always most enjoyed has been more about this wonderful thing called "life" than anything else.
Which story stands out the most in your memory?
It's the silly little story that taught you how to how to laugh. It's the long, rambling novel that taught you how to cry. It's the article in today's paper that gave you pause and made you think. It's the song on the radio that touches your heart every time you hear it. It's the vista that brings calming or tempests to your soul. It's the daily conversation with your friends and family, and it's the surprise tales from the stranger on the bus, or the street corner, or in the local diner.
Whatever the story, I'll bet you that, at least in some way, it was or has become yours.
We read, hear, and see other people's stories folding out before us everyday. And the lessons we take from them are often - or can be - life changing.
What are your stories?
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This thread is for sharing the lessons you gained from others, or the lessons you learned yourself - the lessons only you can teach, but may not have had the chance to do so.
I can't really explain it, but this is what I love - the listening and sharing and learning from other people's lives. And, hopefully, someday being able to give something back.
And I think that maybe this could help all of us, or maybe even just one of us - either in the telling or the hearing. Whatever the numbers, I think the chance is great and well-worth... a lot. Posts: 1548 | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
I have related this lesson in response to other threads but it is worth doing so again.
Back before I was married and I was into the dating and courtship scene there were times that I was spurned, burned and or otherwise treated poorly. These episodes would leave me bereft and bitter concerning the opposite sex. I would waste much mental energy attempting to pierce the veil of intent of my latest failure.
I finally concluded that seeing myself as the victim was prolonging my misery. I realized that however poorly I was used or treated wasn't the crux of the matter. The intent of the person spurning me was of less import than the fact that they were doing it FOR them as opposed to doing it TO me.
This perspective allowed me to feel less shat upon and alleviated the "poor me" syndrome that was crippling me. I could still be sad that things hadn't worked out but I could move on much more easily.
Once upon a time, there was a fisherman. Every day he would go out and fish for hours. When he returned to his house, he would eat only fish. No matter how hard his wife insisted, it was only fish for him.
Then one day his wife slipped a piece of meat into a big fish. She served it to him for supper.
At the end of the meal, he started coughing. "You've killed me!" he shouted.
The wife replied, "I only wanted to give you good food!"
Moments later, he died. And lo! His body started changing, shrinking and shifting. Soon it was a fish!
You see, all along he was a big fish. As such, he could only eat fish that were smaller than he.
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
I can't think of a very specific story, this thread has made me think of just how I feel I've grown on knowing how to deal with anger - more with how to deal with others' than my own.
At the beginning of this year, my friend Jason used to always pretend to be mad at me, and he'd just be quiet, just to be funny. I would freak out every time he did this, and just worry myself away. Gradually I learned that it wasn't a good thing to be freaked out about, and so I'd get myself to be calm, and just assess the situation, and realize I just needed to be patient, to be ready for him to be done with his little game. And then this one day came and he was really mad, very angry, and I was somehow immune to it. If I'd let myself freak out, I'd have tried to make things better, to talk to him, and he would have just said things that would have hurt me and maybe damaged our friendship, but I just waited, and then we talked about it once he was done with that emotion.
The second thing I've learned is that if at all possible, if someone yells at you, it is so much more effective to cry to them, or at least show some sort of weakness than to yell back. When you yell back, it just increases the problems.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
One time I was on a business trip of sorts (at someone else's expense). After deplaning, I approached the car rental counter. I'd reserved the minimum expenditure as far as rental cars go for what little I needed in the way of travel for my business trip.
where am I going with this?
Posts: 3061 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote: or at least show some sort of weakness than to yell back. When you yell back, it just increases the problems.
I both agree and disagree. Yelling back is never ever a good idea, and almost invariably leads to more yelling and silly after making-up conversations which can be avoided.
Showing weakness is something I do when my parents yell, but it's not something I like in myself. Deliberately acting stupid and upset bothers me, and I'd rather not continue to do it.
However, with my friends, whenever they're angry I go into rock mode. Quiet responses, silence when I disagree, a murmured agreement when I agree. I think that, for me at least, this is the way to go. It allows me to keep my dignity, and not say anything that I disagree with, and it doesn't excite the problem. I always stick around; I never walk away from someone who's angry, unless they walk away from me. Any of my own emotion I keep hidden.
I think this is a working solution.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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