posted
How can this question be asked? I think the crux of the matter is not what "nice guys" like or do, it's exactly what a "nice guy" is. The other thread still hasn't hammered it out.
I, for one, believe it to be a complete lie, and that no such thing exists. Man, woman, child it doesn't matter, they will always do something dumb. It's just the way it works. No one is perfect. Someone will always make a mistake.
If anything, the definition of a "nice" person is someone who will be able to forgive anything that is done to them. Even then, it's not completely possible. A "nice" person would be friends with his worst enemy.
Which leads me back to this idea of "nice" guys. I believe that most "nice" guys wouldn't be able to take their own girlfriends cheating on them. If they are unable to forgive "that jerk of a boyfriend who cheated on you," then they won't be able to forgive someone close to them for doing the same thing. I'm talking about a girl who maybe is a little drunk or is lonely for whatever reason (maybe the guy's away for a really long time) and just once kisses another man, or maybe even sleeps with them, but immediately regrets the decision. She has guts enough to come clean about it, because she hopes that she can be forgiven because she's dating this "nice guy." She never once again for the rest of her life does anything like this, and she takes it to her grave as a painful memory that she winces at every once and a while or maybe cries herself to sleep about.
He of course, so overwhelmed by the whole thing that he can never forgive her, either constantly brings it up as ammunition in an argument or breaks up with her immediately. Wow, what a nice guy.
posted
Its hard to classify people like this. I seem to get called a nice guy quite a bit. And my gf... well you guys know Raia, she's one of the kindest, nicest, smartest, sweetest people I know So some nice girls seemingly like nice guys and some nice guys like nice girls. So the blanket false isn't true. I doubt the blanket true is true either. Its just like anything else, it varies from person to person Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
It's all about THAT ONE THING. There's got to be at least a hint that there's a possibility of THAT ONE THING. Nice girls may never figure out how to drop such hints, and nice guys may never figure out how to read the hints.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Why do so many guys not want the smartest, most capable, brilliant, accomplished and powerful person they can possibly find to make into their other half? When picking teams, why pass over the most outstanding stars? Why??????? I've never fathomed this.
Is the concept so strange? The difference between a teammember and a competitor?
I wish I could figure this out. It's been bothering me for a while, can you tell? Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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posted
Because they're insecure? That was exactly what I wanted, Anne Kate, and I got it in spades! Yay me!
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
It this thread's title calling to mind that incredibly sad song about the lowercase n from Sesame Street for anybody else? I was always so glad when the second lowercase n landed.
quote:In a cold and far-off place There was a lower-case N. Lonely and cold, she would stare off into space And it was known that she would cry now and then.
Lower-case N, standing on a hill. The wind is very still, for the lower-case eh en...
And then one day a rocketship Came racing from the sky. It landed on the hill and there opened up a door And somethin' started comin' outside...
A lower-case N! (She's not lonely anymo-o-re) They are standing on the hill (There are two that stand for su-u-ure) The wind is very still For the lower-case eh-ens!
That one acutally used to choke me up when I was a kid.
posted
AK, that's what my parents said too. I was talking about relationships with the psychologist, who said that I'd be better off looking for guys who aren't smart in exactly the same way I am (i.e. nerds) because we'd be too likely to compete. The odd thing is that my parents are both engineers, and they get along better than any couple I have ever seen. So I mentioned the competition thing to them, and after thinking about it, they said that engineers are practical enough that they want to marry someone who will be a good partner and aren't worried about competing with their spouse.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Are these women who are supposedly so smart and awesome and capable really so? I seriously doubt there are so many women that are getting passed up even though they're SO AMAZING.
In my experience, "smart girls" are typically uninteresting homebodies who would rather stay inside on a summer's day than go out to the park or hang out with friends. They also, typically, have a few insecurities themselves that make them difficult to deal with and indecisive (something that men do find unattractive).
A lot of women who aren't homebodies who do go out and have fun and are better at making a decision and sticking with it are considered to be ditzes. They could be super-smart and mop the floor in academics, scholorship and IQ testing with the girl who stays up late reading crappy SF novels, but because she also hangs out with her friends and goes shopping, she's immediately just another dumb blonde.
In short, I don't buy this whole "Why do 'nice guys' pass up smart girls" crap.
There's another reason, but I'm not sure if hatrack would like it.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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As for the question that's bugging everyone in this particular thread: yeah, nice boys actually like nice girls. And no, Primal Curve, the fact that a girl "goes shopping" with her friends doesn't make her less a nice girl ! Two of the girls I fell for were that type of 'nice girls'. If you want a summary description of them, they were very intelligent, beautiful, sensitive AND social ! Why that shouldn't make them "nice girls", i have no idea... Oh, they didn't read SF, but that wasn't an issue.
PC, I think you assume the attribute "nice" is somehow connected to "shy" and "stay at home" and "no friends". I see it more like "decent", "carring", "sensitive". While you will probably find many of those who fit my description among those who fit what I think is your description, it's not always the case.
Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Noemon! I remember that song now! I wouldn't have remembered it if you hadn't brought it up--it was back in the recesses of my memory.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Hmmm, it seems that guys don't particularly like "nice girls". And some of the girls don't like "nice guys" even though guys hear plenty of girls say they do. I guess I haven't heard many guys proclaim, "I like nice girls!" They are more likely to proclaim, "I like naughty girls!"
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: Why do so many guys not want the smartest, most capable, brilliant, accomplished and powerful person they can possibly find to make into their other half?
I'd have no problem with this kind of woman, too bad their all out of my league.
quote: "smart girls" are typically uninteresting homebodies who would rather stay inside on a summer's day than go out to the park or hang out with friends.
Staying in can be fun too
quote: Hmmm, it seems that guys don't particularly like "nice girls".
I like nice girls, and to quote Kyrie, "You should go for the nice girls who are normally overlooked, they have just as many hormones and less opportunities to use them." I wish I could take credit for realizing that on my own.
posted
I think I'll just ditto Trevor with a tentative yes.
And, to answer ak: I would absolutely love to have a nice woman who can out-code me (programming), out-game me (Starcraft, Allegiance, whatever), find something I missed in Babylon 5 (not an easy task)... y'know, just generally outclass me in something I enjoy. Such abilities lead to increased respect from me, and the more respect I have for someone, the more I enjoy that person's company.
posted
It's not that men don't want strong, intelligent, etc. women, but, again, that women aren't into being better than other people. Women usually downplay being better than someone else. Being intelligent, strong, etc. means being better, on many levels, than others. Many women have a problem with this and so they hide what they are, not because men don't like it, most do, but because of their own self image and because of what other women will think.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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So some nice girls seemingly like nice guys and some nice guys like nice girls. So the blanket false isn't true. I doubt the blanket true is true either. Its just like anything else, it varies from person to person ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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tease, PC.
