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((Raia)) I'm sorry I was mean to you. BTW, I used my 499 post to give you a hug, now, off to the 500 landmark!
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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(((raia))) yeah, its going to be hard for a while. When you rember charming things about your cousin, be Happy about them. Be happy about the wonderful person it sounds like she was. Eventually when you think of something or other that she would have liked you'll sort of smile, because it remindes you of her... and that will be ok (sorry i cant find a graemlin to express what im trying to say... its sort of a bitter-sweet thing. Its sad because she is gone, but happy she loved it while she was here... sorry i cant find the words to express this, but i can hug you ((((((((((((((raia)))))))))))))))
Posts: 264 | Registered: Apr 2004
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((((((((((Raia)))))))))) Holidays can be really painful after you lose a loved one. The contrast between the joy you felt with them and your loss hurts. But, sweetie, I wish you would consider talking to someone at the student counseling center . . . I really think they might be able to help. (((((Raia)))))
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I know this doesn't really fit here, but does anyone know if it's possible to get a therapist online for not too much money?
Because I don't really feel comfortable crying in front of people for a variety of reasons, and it's really hard for me to talk about things that are bothering me without crying. So my current therapy sessions in person are going no where. However, they are through the school, so they're free, and I couldn't afford the $75/hour that most therapists charge, so I don't know what to do.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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My understanding is that any therapist who would be willing to treat a patient online is unethical -- at best. mack can correct me if I'm wrong, but body language and facial expressions are HUGELY important for the therapist to observe. And that's just not possible, even with a webcam.
As far as being comfortable crying in from of other people -- I'm not either. But sometimes it really is necessary . . .
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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(((((raia))))) please go to the student counsoling center...
((((((blacwolf)))))) your suposed to cry in front of them. its one of the few places i can cry and not feel guilty about it. it may feel uncofotable for other reasons, but remeber, its their job to talk to people while they are crying. (((blacwolf)))
Posts: 264 | Registered: Apr 2004
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No, you don't understand, I can't. I know I'm supposed to, I know it would help the therapy move forward hugely, but I can't. I don't cry in front of people, I just don't. My mom is the only person who's ever really seen me cry and that's only because she forced her way into my room when I was crying. It's like there's some subconcious part of my brain that thinks, "oh look, people, turn off the crying glands." I might be able to force some tears out of my eyes, but I could never force out a hysterical tantrum like I have when I'm really upset for my therapist.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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I know that feeling, blacwolve... I understand. I think that's one of the reasons I'm so anti-therapist, is instead of turning on my emotions, they sort of block them. (I'm sorry, I don't have helpful advice, just sympathetic commiserating)... Good luck with that.
Thanks, everyone... I appreciate the hugs. Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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It's 2:04 am. I went to bed at 11:45. I haven't been able to sleep. It's been like this since Tiltan died. I am unable to fall asleep... and everytime it's worse. I've also been crying since about 1:00, and rather than stopping, I'm just crying more and more and more as time goes on here... I can't lie in bed anymore. I had to get out for a bit. But I'm still crying. Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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((((Raia)))) I know that when I am depressed the best way for it to go away is to exhaust myself physically. When your body's tired your mind won't care about all those things. It's just a temporary solution, of course, at one point you'll have to ask someone who's actually there to help you through the situation... ((((Raia)))) ((((Alcon)))) ((((blacwolve)))) ((((kyrie)))) ((((Marek)))) ((((Derrell)))) ((((AltƔriƫl of Dorthonion)))) 'Cause I can finally see your name right! ((((rivka)))) :eyes post count suspiciously: Are you preparing something?!
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Corwin, looks like that's happening... I physically can't sleep. Studies have shown that when a person gets just two hours less than he or she's used to per night for a week, that person has as little control over themselves as someone who's drunk. People who've driven in that condition have been just as irresponsible and sporadic as drunk drivers. Isn't that scary?
But anyway, that means that soon I'll be tired enough that hopefully even insomnia won't be able to stop me. I'll try, anyway.
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Raia: That's not really what I'm talking about. It's more like doing a sport or another... Running. I don't know what you like as sports though. One time I was so mad I could hit anything, and it got me a nice little mark on my left forearm. Afterwards, instead of doing that, I'd do pushups and other exercices until my hands would ache, I almost couldn't breathe, etc. I'd stop, start over, and keep on going until all my anger, frustration, despair would be out of me. As I've said, doesn't help in the long run, but sure is beneficial for the moment. Lying in bed waiting to sleep and not being able to doens't count as "exhausting" yourself, as you've already experienced it it's closer to being drunk... Definitely not something you want! Not to scare you, but you can go on like that for days and still not be able to sleep. I know it's hard, but do something about it!
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I also heard that a good therapy would be to write the story of your life focusing only on the positive things about it.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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((((((((((((raia))))))))))) ((((((((((((blacwolf))))))))))) Look, the only times i have been able to cry in front of a theipist is when they ask questions, and I make myself give an honist responce. If they dont ask I dont offer... But when a theripist askes you a question, dont just give an normal awnser. THINK about it, and then awnser. Ever sence I started going to a theripist I have started awnsering almost all the questions people ask me honistly. If they dont want to know, then they should not ask. Other theripist have a method of letting the patent talk and leaveing it open somewhat... that really dosenot work for me, or for you two, it would seem. If you get sort of to that edge where you upset but crying... LET the thripist SEE it, they they will ask more questions to get to the bottom of it. --Blacwolf- I sugest you tell your thripist about not being able or wanting to cry in front of her (or other people)... if its a problem in your life, its part of her job to help you with it. --Raia- I suspect talking to someone out side of your family would be really healthy for you... please just go. You body is telling you you need help... its dangerus to ignore it.... PLEASE go.
Posts: 264 | Registered: Apr 2004
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What helps for me is to do something to break yourself out of it. I know for me at least part of the trouble is that you don't really want to stop being depressed. Like, I say I do, but really there's something incredibly comforting about tears and pain that I don't want to leave. So it helps if I do something to break myself out of that.
Also, I might be the only person who does this, but when I'm depressed I keep on thinking, "Why doesn't anyone notice? Why isn't anyone doing anything?" It's only been recently that I've realized that no one is ever going to be able to do anything. That I have to do it myself. That my future happiness, that me being stable in the future depends only on what I do or do not do. If I don't confront it and stop it, no one else will be able to. The only way you can stop being depressed is by you making a concious decision that you no longer will allow yourself to be depressed, and reminding yourself of that everytime you start to slide.
It's not a cure-all, and it's not going to work all at once, and you're going to regress; but until you make that one decision and put all of your willpower behind you can't get better.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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I know i've been neglecting the hug thread for a while, but i could use some hugs... I'm rather depressed right now, nothing too out of the ordinary... but things aren't looking so good... i mean nothing is going on in my life to cheer me up, and some how, things just keep getting worse around me... plus the fact that a teacher that i was rather close to has taken leave for an in defendant amount of time, resulting in more stress as i try to get the "sub" up to speed with the theatre productions class....
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((((stryker)))) 7 days then break (((blacwolve))) 4 days (((raia))) we haven't talked in so long Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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((((((((((Raia)))))))))) ((((((((((blacwolve)))))))))) (((((Corwin))))) I was thinking about it, but decided I didn't have anything to say. (((((kyrie))))) (((((Derrell))))) (((((Marek))))) (((((AR))))) (((((AoD))))) (((((breyer)))))
(((((all of y'all)))))
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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(((((Raia))))) If you're really having a hard time going to sleep, you could try taking NyQuil or sleeping medicine. Not for a long period of time, just a day or two to get you back in the cycle. Altariel also had a good idea when she suggested you write about it. It doesn't have to be a story, it can just be a few words about how you feel at the moment. It's a good way to vent frustration. But I guess everyone had different methods of "venting" and you just need to find what works best for you. (((((Raia))))) Take care of yourself.
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I just found out that one my ex-girlfriends dad hasn't been doing very well in the past few days. I'm not real sure what the problem is, but they may have taken him to the hospital this evening. I really like and respect this man, but after my two and a half year relationship with his daughter ended on less than a happy note, I just wouldn't be comfortable sending flowers or anything (he'd love them, she would shred them). So the best that i can do is ask for people to pray for Mr Rivron, whom emails back and forth with me behind his daughter's back...
Raia hasn't finished writing her landmark yet, but said to tell you that his name is Mr. Brooks, not Mr. Rivron.
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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If you don't mind throwing a few my way, I just found out my dog's ownership is in question. As I mentioned in this thread, Chet's coworker gave him to us after, Sammy says, someone left him tied up in a duffel bag in his front lawn.
Today, a man came into Chet's store wanting to talk to Sammy. He claims Sammy was watching Brain and now he wants his dog back.
Chet and I thought it was odd that someone would spend money to have the dog's dew claws removed and tail trimmed and then abandon him. But Brain was hungry, dirty, and had fleas when we got him. If the owner wasn't taking care of him, I can see why Sammy would give it away. I'm also worried that the original owner may have changed his mind a couple times and will only end up neglecting Brain.
Brain's a very needy dog. He hates it when Chet or I leave the room. He loves to curl up with us and be wherever we are. I'm worried that he wasn't loved before.
Obviously, I want to do what's best for Brain. If the problems are Sammy's fault and not the original owner's, I have no intention of keeping the man's dog. I just want to know Brain will be loved wherever he ends up.
The worst part is that Sammy's out today. Chet can't even try to get the problem straightened out until tomorrow. *sigh* It's going to be a long night.
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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That would be the part that blew my mind. Who would lie about something like that, especially if the owner would come looking for the dog?
I'm hoping there'll be a reasonable explanation when Chet gets both men in the same room. If not, I may be bailing Chet out on assault charges. He's never hit anyone before, but he might over this. He loves that dog, and he's really upset about it.
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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It just gets weirder. Chet talked to the original owner for a bit today. He claims he met Sammy at the club and asked if he could put the dog in Sammy's car. A few seconds later Sammy drove off with it - only to give it away a week later.
Who would have a puppy that isn't even housetrained at the club at night in the cold? This guy may just be an idiot, though. Sammy didn't show up for work today and didn't call. But why would Sammy steal a dog and give it away? He didn't charge us; he said he wanted a home for an abandoned dog.
This blows any of my theories out the airlock. I figured it was a guy whose kids weren't taking care of the dog, gave it away, and wanted it back to shut the kids up. Having the dog in a stranger's car at the club never crossed my mind.
Obviously, Chet has a few things to go over with the original owner on proper dog care. If Chet's sure he'll take better care of Brain this time, we'll give him back. I'm gonna miss that little guy.
Edit to add: Now that I've had some time to think about it, Sammy probably didn't steal the dog. He was probably drunk, forgot the dog was in the backseat, and drove off. Why he didn't put up a flyer outside the club I don't know. He couldn't have tried too hard to find the guy. And he ducked out when he heard the guy was looking for him. Nice to know Chet's got an inconsiderate, lying chicken working for him.
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(((Avidreader))) Man that royally sucks. I'm as confused as you are none of that makes any sense. Has Sammy shown his face yet?
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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Nope. He stole the dog from some guy fresh out of jail. I'm not sure if it was for the dog or for the guy's paperwork (birth cert, etc) he had with him. Very crazy.
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Could I have some good decision making vibes? I have to make a semi important decision sometime before friday regarding Spring Break. It wouldn't be important at all except that both choices are equally attractive and a lot of people I love are going to be sad/disapointed whatever I choose. Right now I'm trying to find something that will tip the scales.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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~~~~~blacwolve~~~~~ and also (((((blacwolve))))). You'll make the choice that is best for you. And really that's all anyone should ask. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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((((breyer)))) ((((rivka)))) ((((Alcon)))) ((((Avid)))) I'm changing it to something easier when I hit 3000, so it shouldn't be too long now.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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What with little sisters getting glass stuck in their hands, fun trips to the ER, mothers crying hysterically and lots of blood everywhere, I think I'm ready for a little break.
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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(sorry i cant find a graemlin to express what im trying to say... its sort of a bitter-sweet thing. Its sad because she is gone, but happy she loved it while she was here... sorry i cant find the words to express this, but i can hug you ((((((((((((((raia)))))))))))))))
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