Why, why, why do people not understand that a library is supposed to be a quiet place? Why do they look at me as if I'm being nasty and rude when I ask them, as nicely as I can, to please keep it down? It's my job, and really, they're the ones being rude anyway. *sigh*
I'm not the one having various loud conversations both in person and with sundry folks on the cell phone. I'M not disturbing anyone with MY extraneous noise.
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Nothing makes me angrier. Except maybe people who choose to chew with thier mouths hanging open. Posts: 197 | Registered: Feb 2004
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See, that doesn't make me angry so much as it grosses me out. That, and customers who smack gum in my ear while I'm leaning over trying to help them. Gross.
But these people are in a library. Isn't it (or shouldn't it be) understood that a library is a place for quiet study, research, and writing? And that therefore you should refrain as much as possible from making noise above a whisper unless absolutely necessary?
Geez...when I was growing up, the quiet of the library was drilled into me as a sacred thing.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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I've come to the conclusion that people are generally pretty self centered (myself definitely included). I have a customer I busted my @ss for over 2 months to help, and they are now asking for someone more knowledgable to come and help them. No "thank you for the hard work", nothing.
It's been very hard not to take that personally, to be honest.
I've decided that they're just being unreasonable, and am going to shrug it off. Once I get over being mad.
Your library patrons are being unreasonable.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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I confess to having talked to the librarian in the library while chewing gum. I've also daydreamed about the local library being transformed into a dance club or skatepark.
Posts: 2292 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Seriously, I know what you mean about people being self-centered, but most people, when you ask them to do something out of courtesy for other people, MOST people agree immediately. It's as if they just haven't thought about it. But these folks just can't shut up to save their souls.
Or their butts. From a kick from my boot! Durn it.
To me, the greatest evidence of the decline of western civilization is the complete lack of courtesy displayed by so many of its denizens. I am, perhaps, being a bit overdramatic here, but I think courtesy would solve many of the world's problems.
Don't ask me for specifics, though; I don't have em. Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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I have the same problem sith students. You tell the class to be quiet, and it never works. It especially bothers me when they all get a look on their face like they understand you, and agree with you, and they just keep on talking as if you were talking about everybody else in the class and not them personally.
Posts: 3735 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote:You tell the class to be quiet, and it never works.
It works for me after I start assigning oral reports.
Not a part of the grade except as a pass/fail component once assigned. You talk in class, you do an oral report on the topic of my choice one week later. If you miss that date, you do it the next time you show up. (This is a college class, and I made it part of the syllabus.)
Of course, I am perfectly friendly about it, offer to give help if needed, and praise lavishly if it is warranted. But ... you get to talk in public, all eyes on you, and everyone in your audience gives you an (anonymous) written critique.
Doesn't happen more than once a semester, if that. Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I think it is poor form to treat a presenter as if he or she is a television set, whether it is me or another classmate. If someone has prepared a presentation and is putting their heart on the line, then you show proper respect.
Even if it is an oral report assigned for talking in class. We all pay attention and are courteous to a fault.
[I will give warning looks, but only so far. Then it becomes time for the public sweating.]
[ November 23, 2004, 07:11 PM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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If you're not quiet in the library around here they give you a warning, and kick you out. And everyone points and laughs at you (quietly) while you are leaving. Pretty severe punishment, I think.
Posts: 925 | Registered: Nov 2004
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The Purdue library is set up so that people will work on group projects there. The main library, that is. There are a few books and tons of tables with chairs around them for group work. If you want to research you go to the humanities library.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Our library's like a tomb. You even walk with noisy footsteps and everyone, from the first year student who looks lost to the graduate student with a zillion books to the grizzled professor, gives you evil looks as you walk by.
It's quite frightening. It would be the perfect setting for a horror story.
quote:Why do they look at me as if I'm being nasty and rude when I ask them, as nicely as I can, to please keep it down?
Why do you think they are being nasty and rude when they're just talking in a public place?
It's fairly easy to complain about the selfishness and rudeness of others... but the truth is that it is no more selfish to talk in a library than it is to expect others to stop talking whenever you wish. It'd be just as easy for someone to come on Hatrack and rant about all those people who can't handle a little noise in the library - and they'd be no less right, and no more.
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Xap will never contend that contention is pink with purple polka dots.
Though he might be well served to actually read some philosophy instead of just scanning for the fancy words.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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Seeing cellphone abusers makes me think that some folks can't stand to hear their own thoughts.
Posts: 8501 | Registered: Jul 2001
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*idly wonders if her Glare has similar wattage to Sara's Look*
I've got you all beat. I teach <pause> high school students. Female high school students. Now, they don't talk OFTEN in my class (the whole five-points-off-the-next-test thing works relatively well) . . . but sometimes I wonder about a few of them, who really rack up the points off. (Sara, I think I might steal your method to use on a couple of 'em. I like it! )
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Xap, there are different rules in dfferent places, right ? I someone smoke in the non-smoker wagon of my train, I will find it rude and tell him to stop that or go in the smoker wagon. If I go in a smoker wagon and tell everyone to stop to smoke, I'm off-limits. I wouldn't dare to tell people to shut up in the train, because even if I want them too, it's not in the rules of the train. In a classroom with a teacher teaching, you are not supposed to read, and it would be rude to do so. In a library, you can read, but not speak loud. It's just a question of adapting your behaviour to the rules of the place you're in.
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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rivka, I like it because it actually can be a learning experience, and I can work on being helpful (once the assignment is made) rather than punitive. And, if they do well, I can praise.
But I think it fits the crime. Once one is up there herself, one realizes how acute the position can be. And if the person isn't fazed by it and goofs off during the presentation, I suppose a verbal critique by the class on the spot would work. Posts: 2919 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Here, people don't have the common decency to turn their phones off... so I try to study in the library, and I constantly hear obnoxious ringtones, one after the other, and then peoples' conversations with their various friends or something. It's so inconsiderate.
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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In our public libraries, it's the cell phones that really get to me.
Course, I spend most of my time when I'm at the library in the children's section, where it's very lively and noisy. The one I frequent most often has the preschool area closed off so the kids don't disturb any one else - even the young adult section is pretty quiet.
But if I'm in the grownup part of the library and people are answering cell phones next to me - I do get a little riled up. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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In our local library, there's a no-cell rule. Ringing phones will get you a Look. Talking on your phone will get you asked to leave.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Sara, you once again have me falling at your feet. You are a Goddess extraordinaire. What a brilliant, yet gentle, method for dealing with those rude interruptions. Next time I have a class, I've got to try it!! Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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quote:Xap, there are different rules in dfferent places, right ?
Anna, this is exactly right. Xap, the library is a public place, yes, but it's a public place with explicit rules for quiet. It's designed for study, and if I'm there trying to study (or read or write, which is far more common for me than studying), then people talking there against the rules drives me insane and prevents me from working.
Never in a million years would I ask people to be quiet in a public place where there were no rules against being quiet--but the quiet rules are there for a reason.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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quote:Xap, the library is a public place, yes, but it's a public place with explicit rules for quiet. It's designed for study, and if I'm there trying to study (or read or write, which is far more common for me than studying), then people talking there against the rules drives me insane and prevents me from working.
It may be designed for study, but it is also a place that can be used for socialization. Yes, rules differ from place to place, but those rules are up for debate. For some, a library can be a place to talk, and they are going to believe the rules should be such that talking is allowed and telling people not to talk is unacceptable. There are obviously authorities in every library who have greater power to enforce the rules they believe are correct (librarians), but they too are not right just because they have the authority. A librarian who kicks you out for breathing too loudly is being rude in their demands, for instance, despite whatever authority they have to make and enforce the official rules.
I think most people would agree that an essential function of a library is allowing people to read, study, and write. But what is going to be up to debate is what level of socialization is consistent with that goal. I, for instance, could probably read in a rock concert. Some people can't even focus with a slight background noise. The solution will likely be somewhere between the two, and thus will inevitably still bother some - those who want lots of loudness and those who want extreme quiet.
Thus, you cannot just say they are the ones being rude. They likely think they are not being so loud that they would bother people, and thus think YOU are the one being rude by asking them to stop their socialization - something they may consider another legitimate function of a library (and it is, really.) It is possible they can read in loud environments, and thus don't understand what's wrong with what they are doing. Or it's possible they just don't realize how loud they are. Either way, to such a person, you'd be acting unreasonable by expecting them to be what they consider to be overly quiet, hurting their socialization for your own selfish desire to have it quieter than (in their view) you need it. You asked why they look at you nasty when you ask them to be quiet - I suspect this is why.
It's not that they don't realize there are different rules in a library. It is that they think those rules are different than what you think they are. And thus I don't think you have reason to be angry with them, as they are probably not deliberately uncaring about your needs in the library.
As a general rule, the rudeness of others is often overreacted to, because people interpret it as blatant disregard for the rules, when in actuality it is normally just disagreement and misunderstanding over what the rules should be.
Posts: 2432 | Registered: Feb 2001
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Actually, I am quite content in thinking they're being rude and if they happen to breaking the rules of the library, whether they happen to like those rules or not, I am equally content in asking them to stop.
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